Monday, September 23, 2013

Thing 2 of 642: A Houseplant is Dying...

I saw it coming for some time, but I guess never really wanted to admit it. As I think back on the experience - I can't believe I ignored what was going on in front of me. It seems so obvious now; the drooping shoulders, the withered demeanor, a general air of desperate solemnity.

"Come on, perk up..." I'd say as I walked by it's little place near the window on my way out the door to some other very important this or that, "It can' t be all that bad."

And maybe some days it wasn't all that bad. Perhaps some days when the sun was gleaming just so through the window, or particularly, when it was refreshed with a few loving mists from the squirt bottle and a healthy serving of tap water, things looked up!

"You're right..." it seemed to say, "I guess it's pretty okay sometimes!"

"See?" I'd respond, "I told you."

Inevitably however, the days between loving mists grew longer, the curtains remained drawn, and the drooping shoulders and solemnity returned. It became another fixture among the dusty picture frames, watching as shadows passed before its face day in and day out.

Then, on a particularly sunny sort of day, while casting my shadow across the length of the end table where I had decided it was high time to get some things cleaned around here, I was dismayed to see Houseplant almost nothing but a whisper of green, yellow, and some dry twigs. Some of its little leaves were spread before it like the graphic remains of a zombie attack. It seemed to give off a yellowish hue and trembled a little at the sight of Atticus the Cat.

"Houseplant?" I started trembling as I approached it's little perch, "Houseplant!??"

I set down my Pledge and drew closer to it's withered body... gently drawing back the curtains.


I rushed to the sink to fill up my squirt bottle. A little mist would brighten its day! A little mist always helped when it looked it's most disheartened... it's most despondent.

Squirt! Squirt! Squirt!

"Come on Houseplant!"

Squirt! Squirt! Squirt!

"Come on Houseplant! It can't be.... all that... "

A leaf detached from the body and floated to the floor.


What could I do? What could I say? It was all my fault. ALL my fault I tell you! How neglectful I'd been. How selfish! How could I have let this happen? Why couldn't I see this coming??!

But I had... I had seen it coming. Every day as I walked passed Houseplant to another important this and a more important that, houseplant had been there... withering... hopeful... eager... dying... and I would think, "I'll water houseplant tomorrow. I'll open the blinds too."

But... for Houseplant... there were a hundred tomorrow's. A hundred broken promises.

And now...Houseplant may be out of tomorrow's.

NO! I wouldn't give up!

I tenderly gathered up Houseplant in my trembling hands, carried it to the sink, set it in the bottom, and gently, oh so gently, turned the tap on to just a whisper of a trickle.

Water seeped into Houseplant and, I don't know if it was the rush of the water or a fool's hope, but I thought I saw Houseplant perk up a bit... reach for the water... drink deeply. Yes, I would leave it in it's little bowl of bliss all day, basking in that life giving nectar and then, so so tenderly, place it back on a mightily dusted end table to bask in the sun's glorious rays among the lemony scent of disinfectant.

"You will live, Houseplant. You will! I'll never neglect you again!"

Houseplant had been revived! I thought of all the glorious experiences we'd have together. The sunny days! The droplets of water! The feeling that if I could keep a plant alive, surely I could keep children alive! I could climb mountains! I could rule the WORLD!

Yes! Today dawned a new day for me and Houseplant. No more would the curtains remain drawn! No more would those shoulders droop or those limbs detach from the body! No more I say!

As I walked Houseplant back to it's perch, Atticus the Witless Wonder of a Fuzz-footed Dumby, and notably the  most under-footed cat on the planet, hunkered his fuzz-butt down directly in front of Houseplant and I's dance towards a new dawn and within a few precious seconds...






Houseplant... was no more. Oh sweet hope... thou fickle fiend! Oh dreams dashed! Oh days numbered! Oh moronic feline who does not deserve the name Atticus J. Finch esquire!

I swept up the splattered remains and silently placed the shattered, damp, brownish green body into the trash. I looked at it's still perky leaves... it's stringy roots... and remembered.

After giving Atticus a swift kick, I got out my shopping list.

1. Deodorant
2. Eggs
3. Cat litter
4. New Houseplant...

No.... it didn't seem right...

1. Deodorant
2. Eggs
3. Cat litter
4. ...  ...   ... Cactus

You win some, you lose some, you learn some, and you kick some. Kick 'em soundly.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

642 Things to Write About

I just remembered I had a blog. Like, just now. What happened to my bloggery spirit, you ask? Truth be told, I don't know. It just wasn't my jam anymore, know what I mean? It's like, when you stopped shopping at PacSun or realized you haven't had cable TV for 3 years and it's not even a thing. You just... move along.

Buuuuut, I'm clearly back so I guess it isn't that simple. I think I just ran out of things to say. FALSE! I always have something to say - I just ran out of the gumption to write about it. And THAT, I decided, was not acceptable. Not unlike using the word gumption. Clearly, I'm out of practice.

So here I am! No promises. No commitments. But blogging again never the less 9 months later. Though this round, I've decided I need a little more structure. I felt my blogging was cycling along with all other bloggers and THEN I started to feel pressure to start DIY'ing which I don't do. I just go to the store and buy a quilt or sassy side table, ya know? I feel there is so much "access" out there through Facebook and tweets...Flixter, Instagram, Pinterest, cellular devices, that we're in a state of constant "plug in" and also fall into a trap of unrealistic comparison. No longer can we just attempt to keep up with Mr. and Mrs. Jones down the street - but we see hundreds of Joneses all over this good earth always baking more, traveling further, DIY'ing, and living just ahead of everyone else in the world. It's exhausting! I don't care for it.

What does that have to do with structure you ask? Well.

Last November I bought a book entitled "642 Things to Write About" because I wanted to start the creative writing juices flowing. My writing didn't used to be restricted to an Inbox or agenda item. Even crafting a well researched paper on organizational leadership allowed for some creativity, in a way. And lately, I just feel like I need to work on something for no other reason than I like it and want to be better at it. Is that so wrong? I didn't think so either.

Thus, I'm beginning 1 of 642 things to write about because I want to practice writing. And I thought, well, this blog is already here, might as well dust it off and use it!

What can happen in a second
1 of 642 Things to Write About

I blink in a second
Most blink in a second
The light in a second
Answers in a second
Crashing in a second
Heart broken in a second
Tap in a second
Start in a second
Finish in a second
Two words in a second
Yes! In a second!
Just a second. 
Give me a second.