Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Fine. I will BUY ANOTHER Ipod! Grrrrraw!

About 3 weeks ago... I couldn't find my new crimson Ipod Nano I purchased in September. The feeling of losing your new Nano is akin to locking your keys in your car while it's running or not being able to immediately locate your debit card. After two days of not seeing it - I started to really freak out.

Of course I retraced my steps in detail; trying to mentally make it appear where I envisioned it could possibly be. I recalled on Saturday, using my Ipod to mull around Smiths while grocering. I had it with me in the car, and very clearly recall seeing it resting happily at the bottom of my yellow purse after that. Since then, I have no idea what happened to it. I looked for it seriously the following Monday when I wanted it for my work out. I couldn't find it anywhere. I didn't want to accept it was gone - and hoped it would turn up sooner or later.

Well, after dumping out every purse, back-pack, and bag I own, cleaning out my clothes drawers, scouring my car with a flashlight, checking all places a rather facetious cat might've drug some tempting dangling headphones, in kitchen drawers, and the refrigerator, every nook in my office and every corner of my little apt, and... nothing. Nowhere. I can't find it. All that's left is a gloomey armband and computer chip for my Nike shoes to record my workings out. Sigh. Oh, and the hole in my heart where my beautiful crimson Ipod used to be. A moment of silence please...

Yes I prayed to find it. Buuuuuut, I felt like ya know, disease, hunger, and war were probably a higher priority than an Ipod and really, losing it was probably my fault. I considered perhaps that I had left it in my car on the seat and somehow someone got in there without damaging anything else and snagged it. Possible, yes. Probable? Meh. But the crimson Ipod as I knew it is now given up for lost and dead - and it's time to replace it before I got NUTS! was my seller of choice as I could get a used one and not pay as much for it as I did for my bran spanking new Crimson one. And honestly, if I'm going to make a habit of losing my electronic gems I don't care to pay a lot for them. It's like sunglasses. I don't pay more than $15 for sunglasses because I ultimately lose or break them. Sunglasses I can handle - but Ipods? You better believe I'm chaining this one to my FACE! Or gluing it to my hip!

I got a green one this time. It just didn't seem right to get another Crimson one. It's like your old beagle dieing and trying to get another beagle - can't do it - you have to get a Westie instead because you've already "done the beagle" thing and honestly, show some respect! Siiiiiigh. And hopefully I will be a little more responsible with this one... or maybe save on shipping and just flush $130 down the toilet. Same same.

Monday, December 28, 2009

Follow up to Favorite Thing #6

A's in BOTH my first semester Graduate Courses! Ahahahahahahahha HA HAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! gaaaaaasp AHAHAHAHHA!!!!!
(that's maniacal laughter by the way)
Hardest A's I've ever earned in my life! EVER!


These are a few of my favorite things...

Ah Christmas. I must admit this year I was much more into the Christmas Spirit than I have been in years past. I think it had something to do with my reoccurring winters of DOOM I've experienced the last handful of years... it sorta takes the magic out of Christmas when your life constantly fails at this time every year. Yes, that could be much of why I was 'feeling' Christmas more this year... no pending DOOM.

Here were a few of my favorite things this Christmas season... in no particular order... (and apologies... I never take pictures of these things and I really need to. I mean how often does your rather serious Aunt put on a Hillary Clinton mask and do a right jolly jig? Not often! These things need to be visually documented! I feel a New Years resolution coming on... oh yes I do).

I attended many a Holiday festivity during the month of December than I have in the past. This includes Ballet West's the Nutcracker (classic), the MoTab (Mormon Tabernacle Choir) Christmas Concert (brilliant as always.. featuring Ms. Natalie Cole), and a Jon Schmidt Christmas concert. Now, all 3 of these carry their own special little holiday spirit, but I must say that Jon Schmidt may have been my favorite this time around. He puts on a fantastic show! It helped that my friend Camille has a certain brother (cough, Steven Sharp Nelson) who plays the cello alongside Jon Schmidt and was able to give us some fantastic tickets, but honestly, I was thoroughly entertained the entire time. My what that did for my Christmas Spirit!

1. Favorite thing: Jon Schmidt Christmas Concert

I also have a stable(ish) job this year and wasn't constantly flirting with the poverty line every time I attempted to by something more than peanut butter and jelly to fill my rumbley tummy (now that's just sad). I actually bought my family and a few friends some decent Christmas gifts this year! This may blow your mind but I really enjoy Christmas shopping for other people! I start making mental notes MONTHS in advance of what I can get this person or that family member for Christmas that will really knock their socks off (and I love Christmas socks!)! I believe my BEST gifting this year goes to my little brother Taylor who received the animated Hobbit movie and a sweet necklace from Urban Outfitters. Happy Christmas boy! He enjoyed them... or faked it really well.

2. Favorite thing: non-poverty so I can buy good Christmas presents like the Hobbit for Taylor.
I also had many a happy opportunity to donate and serve in various capacities as per the PURPOSE of this Yuletide (one word come to find) season this year. One such opportunity entailed myself and a partner in crime wrapping presents dressed as elves for one of the counselor's in my Bishoprics wives. It was actually pretty fun! We had a service auction for a Family Home Evening (FHE) the first of December and the idea is to auction off 'services' and 'goods' in exchange for cans that subsequently end up at the food bank. As my service, I offered to wrap all of 'someones' Christmas presents that year dressed as a happy little elf. WELL! Here I am expecting some dude to buy my service to wrap his 3 boxes... it didn't even occur to me that there would be 3 Bishopric's wives attending said auction and would likely pay good cans to have someone wrap all their kids, grandkids, long time neighbors, in-laws, co-workers, and spouses Christmas presents. Serves me right for not thinking through these things! THUS - my service went to Sis C and 4 hours later on a snowy December Tuesday - my elf companion and I finished up some massive Christmas wrapping of some of the coolest toys I've ever seen! The grandkids ended up coming over to Sis C's house our last hour tickled red and green that there were actual Elves wrapping their presents; "Where are the elves!?!?!" they exclaimed bursting in the door, "I want to see the ELVES!" It. Was. Awesome.
3. Favorite thing: getting to dress up as an elf while performing service for someone.

Next, as 26 years of tradition dictates, I went over the river and through the woods (literally... I'm from 'Sticks', Utah... aka... Emery County) to Grandma's house. Grandma's house is the best place in the world as far as I'm concerned, and I always love going to her house. It's full of fun and food and food and also some fantastic Grandparents - likely the best on the planet. I know have some pics of Grandma's house around here somewhere (sifting through computer docs) but in the meantime you will just have to take my word for it.

4. Favorite thing: Grandma's house.

Lastly, I got many an enjoyable Christmas present that included a Pampered Chef stoneware baking slab, the new Star Trek movie (Spock is hot... Spock is hot... Spock is hot), a variety of lotions (honestly, Twilight Woods from Bath and Body is pretty awesome... don't let the the collective girly sigh you just heard at the mention of the word 'Twilight' deter you...), and so forth. However, I feel one of the best Christmas presents out there is a gift card. And not just any gift card mind you, but an ITunes gift card. Receiving such an item makes on reflect on how much gifting has changed since the days of tapes and walkmans. Come... walk with me to 1995. I remember very vividly through the years getting a tape walkeman, then a CD walkman (hello 1998!), then a variety of CD's over the years (up until 2004-ish), then an IPod (2005), and now, Itunes gift cards have replaced the classic CD-in-case gift. And really, I love having $50 to use on Itunes however I want (which subsequently, is really easy to use really quickly). I guess that's what getting old and boring means - no one wants to pick something for you so they just have you pick it yourself via rectangular plastic loaded with money. I really don't see how you can go wrong with that...

5. Favorite thing: Gift Cards... Itunes Gift Cards.
And that sums up some of my favorite happenings of the Christmas season this year. It really was an excellent Christmas - and I hope you had an excellent Christmas (or Hanukkah or Holiday or Boxing Day or... break from school and work so those other people can celebrate in their cultural and/or religious ways) too. And perhaps, if your Christmas seemed a little 'hum-buggy' this year - never fear! For as one who has gone through several winters of DOOM that encompassed the cheery Holiday season, it will make each subsequent Christmas MUCH better than it otherwise would've been. Simple pleasures.
Favorite Thing Number 6!!! Got an A in one of my classes!!!! Still waiting for the other classes grade to appear... but hey! An A so far! Holla!

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Online Profile Comment(s) of the Day

If anything this is giving me some good blog-fodder, right? 2 posts in 2 days! A record!

From another self-described, "Very Good Looking"

Ahem hem...

Under the profile heading, What I do for Fun:

"I prefer but am not limited to classy woman."

Good to know he doesn't limit himself. Good for you man! Good for you! What does that even mean... exactly? (You better believe I sent him a message asking what that meant. Now taking bets as to IF he answers and WHAT he'll say. Best hypothetical scenario receives a e-high five from me!)

Runner up comment (same monkey) under the profile heading, How I Feel About the Church:

"I am not a cruise ship director. So many girls just sit back on a date and expect to be entertained. while most say I am quite funny, I am not here to entertain you."

So, reasonably, could a girl counter this with: "I am not a beauty queen. Some guys expect me to shower and do my hair for a date. While I am very attractive, I am not here to look nice for YOU!"

Eh? Maybe! I for one think 'trying' helps... especially when you are asking a girl out. Now, I'm sure no one expects a song and dance number, but when I guy picks me up and says "So... like what do you want to do?" I want to say... "uh... honestly go read my novel by the fireplace, but instead I have to plan a date that you invited me on." Ladies get dolled up for them, they can plan the evening. I feel it's a give and take. Right? How hard is to plan hot chocolate and a walk around the lights at Temple Square... probably not hard as I did it in about 2 seconds just this moment. Keep it simple, but please put some effort into it. If you asked her out - clearly she's worth some effort right?

As to the clear heading displacement issues of Monkey-man, you should know he filled up both of those above questions in addition to using up his 1000 character limit for the "A little about me..." section with more about him, him, and a bit about him, and his preferences (but not limits on) the womens he's a-lookin for... and his sweet boat of coolness. Yeeeeep.

And the search goes on...

Saturday, December 19, 2009

Because I just can't have a real break can I? CAN I?!??!

This morning I received an email from my professor of a class I'm taking next semester, starting the 2nd week of January, near 3 weeks away (I want to make sure you are fully aware of the scandalous nature of the following), entitled "Holiday Reading."

What the!?!??!

Yes... he "suggested" that we get started on (and finish) not one, but TWO of our required texts over the holiday break (ya know, because we clearly will have time as we are on break... BREAK!!! You're missing the POINT!)... oh "and one is a little meaty so I suggest reading with a pencil and making notes in the margins."

... ... ...

There are not words strong enough...

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Top 5 Things I've Learned/Noticed About Online Dating in 1 Week


It's been a week since I signed on to the online dating scene with LDSPlanet. I can actually say I can see how this is a somewhat useful dating tool. Why do I say this? Well I actually went out on a date with a very nice guy I met "online." Eh? 8 years in singles wards = 3 dates... 4 days on LDSPlanet = 1 date. Not. Bad. At. All. What's more is the guy was actually, well, normal. Now none of you get too excited... it can't be THAT easy because in the end, I wasn't really interested enough for a second date - BUT - if anything it was encouraging.

Of course, there are also the really weird things I've already noticed about online dating. I'd like to tell you of my top 5. These include anything from comments on "profiles" to "chat rooms" to "flirts." If you've ever done the online dating thing - you will know exactly what I mean.

My top 5 Lessons/Observations of Online Dating After 1 Week

5. On a scale of Average, Good Looking, and Very Good Looking - some dudes actually have the audacity... or presumption... ("confidence?" snort) to rate themselves as Very Good Looking. What's more, is each of us has our own little profile picture next to our self-descriptions. So, I'd say it's a pretty big risk to rate yourself as Very Good Looking and post your picture for others to see just how Very Good Looking you are, withouth considering that they've not set our expectations unreasonabley high. Or, perhaps it's more of a reassurence to all those ladies out there that "Hey, don't let the picture fool you! I am, in fact,Very Good Looking! You see? I've listed it as so right there. Therefore, it is true." I'll be honest - there have been a few that are indeed "Very Good Looking" who have described themselves as such, but the fact that THEY posted it - well - I don't think there's room for both me AND their egos at a table for two (three maybe).

4. Everyone... EVERYONE... is "laid back and fun loving... but can be serious when I need to be too"

3. Everyone... EVERYONE.. is "up for anything... I like everything!"

2. Dudes my father's age find nothing weird, pervy, or creepy about sending a 26 year old girl a flirty yellow face with heart eyes exclaiming "I'm interested in you!" Groooooss. Blocked!

1. Dudes can still come across as tools online as well as in person so really - you can eliminate THAT risk of hoping he's not a tool in 'real life' because yes, you can tell quiet easily online just as you could in person. See experience below:

Tool describing himself as Very Good Looking (which... uh... I can see your pic yo) IM's me:
"Hey... wat r u up 2?" (strike 1! He no likey the spelling out of big boy words)
Me: "Nothing... how are you?"
10 minutes of non-response
Tool: "lol... good. So when we going out?"
Me: "Well you let me know and I'll see what I can pencil in."
10 minutes of non-response
Tool: "lol... ur busy?" (does lol mean something else than laugh out loud? Have I been utilizing it under that context this whole time and it truly meant something like... er... I can't even think of anything that would make his "lol's" plausible)
Me: "Oh well ya know, just school, and holidays, and work, and living... that kind of stuff"
5 minutes of non-response
Tool: "lol... cool. I hate dates."
Me:"Oh? So, you don't have a typical first date you take a gal out on or anything?"
Tool: "lol... going out with me would be anything bt typical."
Me: "Oh, so atypical?"
10 minutes of silence
Tool: "lol... yeah... I just like to get to know someone."
Me: "Wow. I bet that's really hard since you hate dates, particularly typical ones. I don't even know how you'd work around that scenario."
Tool: "lol... dunno. Guess we'd go to dinner."
Me (clearly enjoying that he does not know I am mocking him): "That's funny. Cause that sounds both like a date and typical."
Tool: "lol..."
10 minutes of non-response
Me: "WELL! Guess I better get to bed (at 9:00)"
Tool: "So should I get ur number?"
Me: (thought: HELL NO!)"Probably not tonight. I don't give out my number... typically"
Tool: (can you guess?) "lol... lata."

You see? Not even a question this guy is a complete idiot. And what's more fun - he didn't even remotely recognize my patronizing his idiocy. Is that wrong for me to take joy in that? Naaaaw!!! I'm allowed some entertainment from it - or I may very well lose hope there's any normal, adjusted, non man-child, out there who knows how to function in society. I'm clinging to that hope with all the gusto I gots in me baby!

So there you have it - exactly what you thought online dating might be, but maybe a little of what you didn't. Sure there are the weirdys and "Very Good Looking's" living on their own delusional 'me-planet' - but there are also some dudes utilizing this little device as yet one more way to open themselves up to meeting new folks (which by the way, Everyone on here LOVES to do!). And honestly - meeting Tool online and meeting him in the Singles Ward would've been the same experience... just a different mode of communication.

lol... lol... lol

Stay tuned...

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

It has come to this... online dating

Well! I've made the big move. Yes, it's true... I have signed up on a (deep breath) LDS Singles dating site. It has finally come to this...

LDSPlanet. That's where I am... and I guess that makes me an "online dater?" Oh man. I can't even tell you how hesitant I was to do this; but let me tell you why I did it (not that I need to explain anything to the likes of YOU!... but maybe a little to myself). I have several friends who are acquainted with and have joined many sites like this... LDS Singles sites particularly. And they all say, "I was skeptical at first..." and though this hasn't yet been followed by a "now I'm engaged!" ;) it HAS been followed by "and really, it's just another place to meet new people and that's nice." Which kinda sold me on it. Singles Wards, School, and Work. Nada. So, what other options are there?

I have one particular friend who, after moving to SLC and attending her singles ward, was frustrated (we're all riding that train sista!) about not having any opportunities to meet anyone new. And really ya'll, can I tell you I've gone on a grand total of 3 dates with dudes from my Singles Ward in my ENTIRE 8 years, 8 YEARS, attending Singles Wards... and 2 of those dates were with the same guy. Yes. 3 dates. 8 years. Those odds aren't particularly encouraging. Not encouraging at all. Pointless Singles Wards! (I will save my "Singles Wards are pointless for what they're meant to do" rant for a later time).

Anyway, so my friend signed up on LDSPlanet and LDSSingles and has been a dating machine for the last handful of months. Now, again, most of the dates have just been first dates and some have been with those type of creepers you expect to find living (no really... I don't think they have day jobs) on these sites - but there have been those token few outings that have encouraged my friend to keep at it. Keep on trucking. She also mentioned it's made her a better dater and shown her what she really likes in a person and what she just can't handle. So, I find those things very useful as a 26 year old, also not knowing where to meet anyone new, single gal. Plus, what do I have to lose?

So... here's my little experiment with online dating. I signed up. I'm going to give it a concerted effort and see how it goes. 6 month membership baby! I'm PAYING for this shiz! But in the end, I think it will be beneficial in some respects. I mean, it's been 3 days and already I've had conversations with some dudes that I actually would consider going out with. 3 days! Compare that with 8 years... and suddenly this has been the answer all along. Wish me luck!

Monday, December 7, 2009

Sexy takes on new meaning with Jumpin Jammerz

I had myself a right good laugh about this. I mean, I'm right to laugh at this, aren't I? Come on! I mean they look oh so cozy and nice, but honestly, I don't think their entirely marketing them the right way. Sexy and Jumpin Jammerz aren't necessarily appropriate bed-fellows in my mind (if you'll excuse the pun). These are just a flash back to old school pj's you ran around in when you were between the ages of 0-9. Somehow I find this whole thing a little kinky... so maybe their marketing is spot on after all! What do ya think? Check it out:

This to me says "Hey baby... I gots to pee..."

"... ... ... there are no words..."
Shhh princess. Don't tell, but I'm wearing ducky footies to seduce my man. He'll never see THIS sexy mamma coming.

"Look! I'm a monkey! A spotted monkey in the jungle! Call me Tarzan!"

My personal favorite. Dude, no one is calling you when you're wrapped in red pj's with footies. Wow. It just doesn't scream "man" to me.

Can't get enough of these Jumpin Jammerz? Well never fear! BAM And just so you know... they make "sheer" ones too. Now that's sexy! Sheer footies!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

I lost a bet... big time

WELL! Can't say I don't pay up right? My co-worker Marisa and myself had a friendly little bet on ye olde Holy War outcome. And, all Max Hall remarks aside, in the end BYU was the victor this year (THIS YEAR!) I was the big ol' loser of our friendly wager. What was the wager you ask? Well... I think you can figure it out for yourself. Oh the shame! The horror!
The Walk of Shame

My Best Zoobie Impression. Eh? Please tell me I DON'T pull it off

A tribute to Max Hall (this will never get old... never)

Still Buddies though. I'm excited for next year when we get to wear matching CRIMSON! Oh snap.

Alas! I think the worst of it was having to venture outside the office. Wearing that ghastly sweater around the office I can handle because folks know exactly what color I bleed (crimson baby!) and thus just follow me with laughter and heckling. This I can handle and this I expected all in good fun. It's when I had to go outside and interact with strangers that I found myself thinking "hide me! Hide me! I promise I'm a UTE!" Or looking at them like "oh no no... don't misunderstand... I'm not a Y fan." I felt like a shamed dog with one of those circle things around their neck so they can't lick their wounds... just bowing their little head in shame with nothing to be done but just pushing through.

And push through I did! Now that's CLASS! And I can't wait to deck out in Crimson next year... there's ALWAYS next year! We got this next year!! Go Utes!

Monday, November 30, 2009

And it just gets classier...

Now, I want to make it clear that I'm not some tirading U fan clinging onto the poor examples of sportsmanship and downright ridiculous conduct of this particular picture of a Y fan attacking Whittinghams daughter and wife (cause apparently it's the women and children who this guy decided was the best target for his idiocy) nor Max Hall's emotional outburst to prove some "BYU sucks too" point. No no no. I think it's a fine institution and anyone who thinks differently probably has never been there and experienced that great campus. I worked there for a time and I'd work there again in an instant.

And as we've all mentioned, the U has some real morons as well and I'm sure if there had been a camera phone quick enough to capture Hall's fam getting doused by beer - the U would receive backlash as well (as they should!). However, I think what's important here is to recognize that we can't make generalized statements about anyone, anything, any institution, because those words will ALWAYS come back and bite us in the arse. I'm sure the relief Hall felt getting his emotions out is nothing compared to the regret he has now... maybe not so much that he said something stupid... but that he is the leader of the BYU Football team who said something stupid for everyone to hear. A lesson for all of us to think before we speak and maybe consider we're not as awesome as we think we are either.

Just as not ALL Ute fans are drunken jerks, not all Y fans would attack a woman and her child merely because they are from the opposing team (which is even weirder because... dude... BYU won if you didn't notice). The guy pictured below does not represent the entire BYU student body, their fans, nor their programs... but between him and Max Hall, they've both fueled the hate between these two teams by their irresponsible actions. Shame on you guys.

And maybe as an EXAMPLE of class...

"University of Utah athletic department officials, including head football coach Kyle Whittingham, have declined to respond to BYU quarterback Max Hall's postgame tirade on Saturday. Sports information director Liz Abel said it was a BYU institutional matter. She also said Whittingham has declined to comment on reports that his wife, Jamie, suffered a cut lip in a fan-related incident after the game."

BYU football: Max Hall reprimanded by Mountain West Conference

Honestly - though his apology wasn't entirely believable "It was not intended to be directed at the entire organization and all of their fans and I apologize that it came out that way."

Cause really Hall, I'm pretty sure you knew exactly what was coming out... HOWEVER...

I have to sympathize with the guy. Truly, he held a justified vendetta against U fans that he said assaulted HIS family as well. I too think the people who did that are complete morons and nothing could justify such behavior. I think that mixed with a very hurt ego last year, created some rage in Hall he finally let spill out. It happens to all of us. But maybe next time, we should all take a lesson from an older, more mature and experienced man who's family was ALSO assaulted by Y fans and not comment at all. Kyle Whittingham has shown some true class here and I think Hall has learned his lesson perhaps the hard way. But we can be sure he'll never forget it.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Max Hall's Example of "Class"

Below you will find a bitter, generalizing, Max Hall who just WON (well, his team won) the big rivalry game this year. It was an awesome game (as it is every year), and one we've learned over the years is never over until it's over. The rivalry is intense accompanied by varying levels of fans who either bitterly hate each other, who participate just for fun, and those who don't really care because they're from out of state and don't understand why we all just can't get along.

As to the ones who bitterly hate each other - it's ridiculous. Really, there's so much hate and resentment that it ruins the intensity and fun of the game, the harmless banter between alumni, and the spirit of sportsmanship. As to Utah and BYU respectively: they each carry with them that group of asinine jerk fans who make the entire school look like a bunch of either 1. Drunken idiots or 2. Self-righteous cry babies. In case you aren't sure which is which - Utah sports some drunken moron representation while BYU totes some seriously self-righteous tools. But as any reasonable person knows - not ALL Utes are beer guzzling morons and not ALL BYU fans are "holier than thou" Provo drones. Smart people know that. Max Hall does not fall into that category...

Max Hall is now the poster child exemplifying one of those BYU alum who take the name "BYU" and paint a naive, close-minded, and yes, self-righteous stereotype (though no one did that better than that git Austin Collie) that only propagates the stupid antics exhibited by what he claims a Ute fan did to his family. Of COURSE that's wrong and of COURSE those Ute fans should be ashamed and probably kicked around a little... but it was a handful of morons you're taking as the representation of an ENTIRE institution. An instituion, I might mention, who carries with it some very prestigious programs, world-renowned scientists (cough.. Nobel Prize Winners) cough, and a great football program headed by non-other than a former BYU player. Hey Kyle! Max HATES YOU!!!!

(Listen, I'm going on a tangent. What BYU fans don't get about Ute fans is they WILL punch you in the face and speak all manner of deragtory comments against your mother if you provoke them. What BYU fans don't get is that UTE fans can be VERY mean, REAL WORLD MEAN, and it would be in their BEST interest not to provoke them with their stupid comments... because when they're punched in the face and cry about it on TV, they just look like retards. I'm not saying this is acceptable; but come ON! You wouldn't poke an angry rattle snake with a stick, would you? No. You wouldn't. THINK a little bit and just avoid the situation geniuses).

Anyway... flash forward, IF what Hall said happened to his fam and it was an idiot Ute fan, fault the idiocy of the fan, Hall, and not an entire program, university, every single player, and group of people who for the majority just come out to watch a great game and have fun. As a Ute fan, I found his comments childish and bitter. Yes Hall, last year's "honk if you intercepted Max Hall" hit your where it hurt - in your big puffed up proud head. So get over it. Learn from it. Come back next year and do better (because hello, you WON you fool!). Have some CLASS.

Frankly, BYU fans and alum like Max Hall don't do much for the "class" of BYU and what it CLAIMS to represent. He did the University a disservice with his bitterness. And now he'll get to hear about it for the rest of his footballess life. Just keep on poking that angry snake with your stick Hall, and see what happens. Honk if you "hate" Max Hall!

See article below
Monson: Mad Max's thunder a blunder
By Gordon Monson

Salt Lake Tribune Columnist

Max Hall was ticked off.

No, he was pissed off.

Royally (blue) pissed off.

If that language offends you, just wait a paragraph or two, you haven't read anything yet, especially if you favor in any way the University of Utah. Hall had a postgame message for all of you: He "hates" you. He thinks you, your football program, your school is "classless."

The senior BYU quarterback made no bones about that, and no apologies for it.

After throwing the game-winning touchdown pass in overtime to beat Utah by the count of 26-23 on Saturday night at LaVell Edwards Stadium, Hall fired off anger and frustration and hatefulness that had been building inside him for a year.

When asked after the win whether he felt any kind of personal redemption, particularly following last season's loss at Rice-Eccles Stadium in which he committed six turnovers, Hall spiraled a string of Ute loathing that was not only steely-eyed and straight-faced, it was delivered with unmistakable intent.

He wanted everybody to know exactly what he had been hiding inside for 12 months. Hall's been around long enough, and is media-savvy enough, to know full well what the reaction would be. He said it anyway.

The eruption after the question went like this ...

"A little bit, yeah. I don't like Utah. In fact, I hate them. I hate everything about them. I hate their program, I hate their fans, I hate everything.

"So it felt really good to send those guys home. They didn't deserve it. It was our turn, and our turn to win. We deserved it. We played as hard as we could tonight. And it felt really good, again, to send them home, to get them out of here, and so it is a game I will always remember."

Then, Hall was asked: Any particular reason you hate Utah?

"You really want me to go into it?"


"I think the whole university, their fans, and their organization is classless. They threw beer on my family and stuff last year, and they did a whole bunch of nasty things, and I don't respect them, and they deserve to lose."

That's what the quarterback said.

Think what you want of it. Castigate him, if you will.

I won't.

I will say he's wrong. His emotion is over-the-top and misplaced. There's too much collateral damage in the bombs he let fly. Too much irresponsibility. After all, some BYU fans behave horribly, as well. And he knows that.

He should also know Utah is a terrific university, with a terrific football program, with terrific people involved with it. Most the fans are terrific, too. Some of them, indeed, are as ridiculous as they are narrow-minded and, in a some cases, small-minded.

Anybody who would toss beer on a player's family, especially after that player pretty much lost the game for his team, is a dope, an idiot, a stooge.

There's no excusing that behavior.

Hall's rant, however, ran beyond just that.

For a year, he had been a laughingstock, the brunt of jokes passed along among Utes, spoken derisively on radio shows, posted on the Internet, written across T-shirts, chucked directly into a proud man's face.

He had been hurt by it, and that was clearly evident on Saturday, just a few minutes after one of the highest moments in his long career at BYU.

One second, he was dog-piling with his teammates in the north end zone at LES, being mobbed by Cougar fans, overcome with unadulterated happiness. "It felt so good," he said.

And the next, he was spraying hate toward the school, its players and fans, he had just so gloriously defeated -- with all the specificity of a sawed-off shotgun.

I hate everything about them? The whole university is classless?

Come on, Max.

It's like hating on a community of 500,000 people because a couple hundred of them were asses toward you and yours.

Hall even took shots at his own fans, the ones who had criticized him in the wake of earlier failings, saving special mention for those who hide behind anonymous Internet names and rip away in the safety of their facelessness.

"People can say whatever they want," he said. "... It felt good to win for the true fans."

Everyone else can stick it.

Max Hall, sadly, hates your guts

So what do think of Hall now?

As for me... I don't think much of him at all. Him nor his "game." Goodbye Max Hall and goooooood riddance.

SLC Trib:

Thursday, November 26, 2009

A little reminder from last year... Holy War

One of the biggest college rivalries meets this Saturday at 3:00 in Provo, Utah. It's the Holy War between the University of Utah and BYU. Best. Game. Of. The. Year. Always intense. Always unpredictable. I felt only Hitler could remind us thoroughly of what happened last year... and will likely happen again this year.

All I can say is lets hope our UTAH MVP from last year shows up this year! We couldn't have won without the one and only Max Hall. Go Utes! And Go Max Hall! :) Crimson will be there to catch your passes every single time.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

It snowed - so I guess that means I should continue driving as I always have

Utah boasts the greatest snow on earth; and in 2002, we proved it to the world by hosting the Winter Olympics. Every year hundreds if not thousands of snow-enthusiasts flock to Utahs resorts to enjoy the beauty of the mountains and strap pieces of wood to their body in the hopes of screaming down a steep mountain face over and over and over through deep powdery wonderlands. Snow is an integral part of the Utah experience.

However... there is a taint...

It seems that Utah's notorious "bad driving" knows no limits - not even winter storm, black ice, foggy death, wet, limits. Yesterday we had our first bonified snowfall of the season. I was perusing at Goldon Braid Books when it all happened - I looked out the window and what had started as a typically gloom covered day in November was now dotted with flakes the size of my face silently floating from the sky. "It's snowing!!" I exclaimed outloud to myself - but still looked around to see if my yelp had reached some book-wanderers ear and drawn their gaze out the window. Alas! I really did just exclaim to myself - but it was still worth the exclamation (I've realized how much more comfortable I am with talking to myself outloud in public places and not being embaressed when I realize that I've been doing it. Meh... so let them think I'm crazy.... maybe I kinda am).

Well, as those who have lived in "snow-prone" places know - snow is beautiful, but also equals wet slick roads. And to everyone with an resemblance of common sense coursing through there cerebellum that means you should modify your usual "sunny day" driving behaviors to compensate for wet, slick, snowy road. Makes sense right? RIGHT? After leaving Golden Braid Books I needed to venture to Nordstrom for some make-up renewing (huzah!), and proceeded to get on the snowy freeway to do just that. By this time it really was somewhat of a blizzard and the roads were rather slick. But did that stop "that guys" SUV? NO WAY! As you can probably imagine the rant I am building up - lets just say in my journey from downtown to the 53rd South exit I witnessed no less than 5 swerving"close calls" where people where literally shocked their car slide more on wet roads than dry ones, 4 jackasses tailing anyone who even ATTEMPTED to go the speed limit in the "fast lane" (because you realize the fast lane still means GO FAST even if there's icy death on the road), 3 moms in vans chatting away on their cell phone with bouncing brats making faces at passing cars as she wooshed by splaying slush all over everyone, and my personal favorite, the SUV drivers who bob and weave through traffic with looks on their faces like "why are all you people driving cautiously in a blizzard?? I guess you should've purchased a 4 wheel drive anti-death Escalade like me!! HAW HAW HAW!" I hate those arrogant jerks and their holier than thou attitude as they swerve through carefully crawling cars during winter storms. What makes them THINK they are so invincible because they have 4-wheel drive? How do they miss the concept that snow equals wet equals ice equals "use greater caution you idiots because you will die"? I mean - talk about environmental factors seriously modifying behavior... I'm pretty sure these morons drive even faster just to prove to us compact car owners (aka smart people) that not only is their SUV like so all-purpose - but it kicks winters arse!

Thus, though I love the snow and Utah has some of the greatest snow, it's all sort of tainted when you not only have to drive in it, which is stressful, but have to deal with SUV driving jerks who are usually the cause of 2 hour traffic delays because they didn't think that 90mph in the left lane was any different in their awesome car of superhero death defying powers on a dry, bright, sunny July day than a gloomy blizzardy snow fall in November. Go figure. I guess that lesson only truly hits home when they're upside down in a snow bank and the Hyundai Elantra they zipped passed in the rush to be super-awesome-snow-guy honks and waves as she continues on her cautious journey to Nordstrom for make-up renewal. Just sayin... snow-karma.

Friday, November 6, 2009

Halloween Pics... finally... a week later (and a pretty entertaining video WORTH waiting for)

I truly have lost control of my personal life. Yes, I am posting my Halloween pictures nearly a week later. What of it? At least I’m posting them. I really think this is representative of my life – I feel like I’m a full 7 days behind and almost in no way will be able to catch up. Rather a disheartening scenario, no? Sigh. Alas, I need to reevaluate my priorities – maybe when schools over – in 2 years.

For Halloween I was a Roller Derby Girl. Yes, I was inspired by the movie Whip-it as well as the appeal of wearing a fluffy pink petticoat in public. What’s more, I borrowed “tattoo sleeves” from my friend Terilyn, and felt pretty bad-ass in them. They look incredibly authentic and I almost felt a certain empowerment sporting them on my arms. I think that’s why Halloween is one of my favorite holidays – I have the opportunity to be someone completely different for a night; to play a character in a play that's different from the one you've been assigned (or self-selected); but lets leave the philosophizing for another time... in 2 years maybe.

Terilyn and I at Thriller on Friday night. What what! Some pretty powerful ladies!

Saturday night I went to the Utah vs. Wyoming game (and nearly had a heart attack the whole time - that team is going to be the DEATH of me - why must we wait until the last half of the 4th quarter to show up and play some real football? I ASK YOU!); and of course, the Muss had to make a showing by dressing up "black hole" style. My friend Eyring and I looked pretty hard core... and by hard core I might mention how much the vampy teeth add to my overall bad-assidness already assumed by my wicked arm-tats. The final chapter (and by far the most entertaining) of my Halloween-ing this year happened in the workplace. We had a week long United Way campaign at my place of employment the week of Halloween and part of the campaign entailed a "donation race" to see which executive could illicit the most funds in his "jar" thus making him eligible to prance around the office in a blow up ballerina costume.
And my supervisor won...

And he LOVED it.

Perhaps I'm not the only one that's slightly lost control of my personal life.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Last night, I dreamt of London again.

Yes, I am trying to capture the dark ethereal magic of Daphne du Maurier's opening lines from her novel Rebecca, which begins "I dreamt of Manderley again" (chiiiiiills). I'm not sure how well I captured that - but I thought it fitting as I did, in fact, dream of London again.

I dream of London a lot. Is that strange? Shrug. I guess most dreams tend to be strange and mine are generally extremely abstract, so I guess asking someone to label a dream subject as strange is asking someone to label pretzels as salty. It's what they are - naturally. But I do dream of London and this morning, I fought very decisively not to leave Oxford street and continue my search for a reasonably priced flat (yes... I realize the irony... "reasonably priced flat in London"... dream on sista... dream on) when the fuzzy lines between dreaming and waking are interspersed with sounds from the "real world" translating over to the "dream world." No! Please let me stay here.

I'm not in London anymore - fantastically or in reality (duh). I have been though so it's not completely ridiculous that I dream of the city. I spent a mere 6 weeks in London on a study abroad with the University of Utah after which I subsequently wrote a prose heavy "research analysis" of it's "foggy lanterns piercing the rippled surface of the darkening Thames as I scurried to my hotel near the Baker's street tube stop. Dark figures glided like ghosts along pavements while a stray black cat confidently strutted across my path; the misty air glistening off its mangey fur" - oh my. Clearly someone (it's me) has transported us all back to Sir Arther Conan Doyle's Holmesian London or has been taking Virginia Wolfe far too seriously (and you know what happens when you take Virginia Wolfe a little too seriously... the misty clouds thus roll forth and you put rocks in your pockets).

Never the less - whatever Freud might say of my reoccurring London dreams having something to do with my subconscious longing to escape into a world so very different from my own (true) or my strange inherent desire to project my inner Mary Poppins (also true); I loved London and I want to go (back) to London and I believe that once I get to London again, I will be staying in London indefinitely. Perhaps London is sending these subliminal messages through my dreams, beckoning me to join it again and experience all that London is. And who am I to say no to London? Especially when it goes through the trouble of consistently invading my dreams. Dickens would never say no to London! And that's reason enough for me.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

It's akin to asking someone if they're preganant, and they're not

I attended some friend's Halloween party this week. It was Tuesday night, after class, so granted I was pretty beat after a full day of work and sitting in a 3 hour class all night. However, I wanted to support my friends gathering as it was a Halloween/house-warming party mix. Party Mix! Like Chex. Ahem... anyway... there promised to be meatballs as well and if anything gets me going after a long day of mind-numbing metiocrity, it's meatballs. You can quote me on that.

So I picked up my friend M to head up to the party, and she romped to my car and jumped in. I immediately said "Oh man! You dressed up! What are you?" To which she replied "Uh... I'm not dressed up. I wore this to work."


Ah. Ohhhh, well it's dark outside and I'm kinda losing it because of my super long day and Ididn'treallyseewhatyouwerewearing.... Oops! Mistaking someone's outfit for a Halloween costume is your classic "foot-in-the-mouth" scenario; or the setting for a lame joke "Take off that mask!" "Oh I'm not wearing a mask." Ba dum chi!

Luckily my friend is good natured with a easy going sense of humor and wasn't offended in the slightest. Phew... lucky for me. Note to self - think before talking (or) scrutinze beyond a shadow of a doubt someone's outfit before asking what they're dressed up as (or) don't talk at all. All excellent preventative measures one can take to insure no awkward situations that are impossible to smoothly dig oneself out of. It's very much like asking "Oh! So when are you due?" "Um... I'm not pregnant" ... ... cricket chirp. What do you SAY to that? "Oh sorry - I didn't realize you were just fat?" Mm. Hm. You see what I mean.

Friday, October 23, 2009

You know you've lost control of your personal life when your Soy milks gone bad

If any of you are Soy milk drinkers, or were Soy milk drinkers, or are considering becoming a Soy milk drinker, or even, have friends who are Soy milk drinkers, you may know that Soy milk has a very liberal expiration date. When compared with regular milk derived from a cows udder (shudder); it's clear who the winner of "how long you can keep this in your fridge before it goes bad" contest is. Soy milk. Every. Time.

(On a note - do you know we are the only species that continues to drink milk AFTER nursing? Additionally - we're the only species that elects to drink the milk of another mammal who drags their udders through poop, dirt, grass, poop, and is suckled on by snotty little baby cows. There's some food for thought).

At any rate...

It takes a long time for Soy milk to "go bad." Many will contend that the expiration date is only applicable on an unopened carton of Soy milk. Well, that's semi-true. The carton does explain it that way - but really - I've pushed the limits of Soy milk and not noticed much of a "funk" 1,2, and sometimes 3 weeks after having opened it.

This time however...

My Soy milk contained a bit of a "funk." I kept right on eating my cereal of course; the entire time exclaiming inside my head "this tastes funny! This is probably bad!" chomp chomp on my Cheerios, "Yep, definitely something funky about this... this is no good." chomp chomp chomp. And I realized, if my Soy milk had gone noticeably bad, it's clear I have not been drinking much of it as of late. Which means, I've been eating out more than I usually do, or not eating at all really, and this means I'm either lacking time, or I've lost complete control of my personal life and my self-respect is at an all time failing low. Come to find - it's probably a little of both.

When our lives begin to fast forward, bogged down with this, that, and the other, we tend to let ourselves "slip" a little in the general care and fostering of our own health. Sleepless nights that linger all week, not having the energy to make home-cooked (or even slabbing PB&J together between two pieces of bread) meals, sniffing our clothes because we can't remember when we did laundry last and sure as all Mountain Fresh don't have the time now... things of this nature. I hadn't realized I'd let a few small things (cleaning my room... going for a run... grocery shopping...) slip, and if it weren't for the Soy milk funk, I may still have kept slipping into slovenly, greasy, obese, oblivion. You think I exaggerate? I think NOT! We tend to focus our time and our energies on so many outside factors, we forget about spending sometime on ourselves. I for one feel better when I'm healthily fed, relatively clean, and surrounded by a little more order and a little less chaos. In fact, the simple act of making my bed every morning can foster feelings of self-accomplishment; that I actually have a handle on your surroundings (I live in a very simple world).

Well, I for one will never be letting my Soy milk go bad again. Thank goodness for that wake-up call! While I carve out time for school, work, school, and also school, I think I'll make a point to carve out a little "self-care" in there too; some valuable grocery shopping, a bathroom scrubbing, an hour in the gym, and maybe even begin a novel. Ha. Okay... I won't get TOO carried away.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Rainy Days and Mondays

I’m wasn’t ready for Monday this morning. I guess no one is really ready for the weekend to end – but since it’s inevitable – we plan accordingly and prep ourselves for a new work/school week come Monday morning.

Well last night I was feeling sick about having to start a Monday so soon. My weekend wasn’t anything particularly special that I wanted to extend it: I went to Park City on Friday night, did an amazing amount of school-reading on Saturday then saw Where the Wild Things Are (awesome), and then went about my regular Sunday activities of churching and making food I could eat the entire upcoming week (side note: last week I attempted to make Mac and Cheese from a Martha Stuart recipe and failed miserably and thus didn’t have the luxury of having at least one meal of my day already prepared that week. THIS week however, I went with a timeless classic I’ve made over and over: White Bean Chili. Success!!!).

I guess the previous week had been really exhausting. I didn’t have school, but work was busy and I was still doing homework and my mind was just tired. My Spirit was tired! My emotions were tuckered out! I needed a longer weekend this time around. OH! And what adds insult to injury is I THOUGHT I was really on top of my homework and then realized I had forgotten an assignment due by midnight on MONDAY and loudly cursed myself for not realizing that just because we have Fall break it doesn't mean we have Fall break. I mean clearly that makes sense. Silly me.

As Sunday night was drawing to a close, I began to really dread Monday. Though it promised to be a regular Monday full of work and school and exercising and general things you do to start out yet another week, I just felt ill about having to do it all. At least having to do it all so soon. As I was lying in bed Sunday night, all I wanted to do was find a safe cozy little bubble, separating me from all the world, and read a delicious novel while floating through the air above regular living. I wanted to push “pause” – make everything freeze – work, school, life in general, and just have a little breather for awhile. A proverbial floating limbo between Sunday night and Monday morning that just extends the weekend a little bit longer…

Well, turns out my pause button doesn’t work on Sunday nights because Monday is a much stronger power to cope with. Monday has come; and I’m still not entirely ready for it, but ready or not, it always comes. What’s truly ironic is it also rained all night. I don’t mind thunder and lightning, though conveniently ominous when it happens while a Monday approaches like an evil presence come to suck the happiness from the world. I almost expected to hear an evil cackle rip through the sky as my alarm went off and Monday officially began. You know what they say about rainy days and Mondays. Always.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

People who say they HAAAAAATE Utah

How? Ha! Naw... I get why people don't like certain places because it's "just not them" or isn't near a Nordstrom's or doesn't have a variety of dining options or it's cold all the time or it's hot all the time; but really, to HATE living somewhere? That's pretty serious. And to HATE living in Utah? In this Utahns opinion is crazy talk!

I've been to a handful of places inside the country and out. I can say that I do not want to live in Provo, Utah... er again... because it's just not the place for me. Do I hate it? NO! In fact my year there was one of the best years of my life. It's also one of the most beautiful places I've lived what with the mountains so close and it's "small cityness." But when it's all said in done, I'd rather not live there if I can avoid it. Just not the place for me; and that's okay!

On the other hand, I could live in San Francisco forever. I love it there. What a unique and amazing city! Yes, I could do San Francisco quite happily for a very long time... as could I do London... and I imagine (though I've never been) I'd like such places as Maine, Boston, or the Carolina's very much as well. These places appeal to me on a personal level. They contain within them things I enjoy having around me in my living space. And since we're on the subject, I could also live in Salt Lake City for a very long time... and have for a very long time... because it's a beautiful fantastic clean city I feel is home.

That said (placing can opener over worm can)...

Some might say, oh of COURSE she loves Salt Lake City, she's a Mormon. Ha. Huh. Well, it definitely makes it more appealing to me as a Mormon because for heavens sake it's the headquarters of the Mormon Church. The Salt Lake temple is literally two blocks from my house, and I'm always reminding myself how very lucky I am as a Mormon to live in Salt Lake City, Utah. Yet, I might venture to say, though that's a bonus, it's not why I love Salt Lake City. I wouldn't move to Nauvoo or Palmyra New York for the soul reason it contains so much of my Churches history. And clearly, if I'm loving to live places like San Francisco or Paris or London, there are many many MANY things that make a city appealing to me than proximity to my faith's religious headquarters. I can't imagine Catholics make mass exodus to live in Vatican City solely because they are Catholic. Though, I would wager that any practicing Catholics living in Vatican City would feel the same as I do being Mormon and living in Salt Lake City; very very blessed.

In contrast, many say they hate living in Utah. Now, clearly I have a bias because I love Utah. And I love it for it's beautiful mountains, it's unique red rock, it's deserts, it's 4 seasons (except this year... seriously... did we have a summer?), the general beauty in the layout of the cities, the cleanliness of the cities (and I've been to some very "dirty" cities and am always reminded of how "clean" particularly Salt Lake City is when I return), and yes for its people. Many "non-Utahns" have commented time and again to myself, friends, family, that Utah has a high concentration of very nice people. I think we are pretty nice people! All of us! So, I always wonder, how can you really absolutely HATE living in Utah? Really, how can you HATE (as in loathe) living most places? I've always been a believer that something is what you make of it. Your attitude is a powerful tool that can color any situation, for better or for worse, if you let it. Cynicism is the best way to go through life always unimpressed and ill-contented. Well, I think people hate living in Utah because they.... dislike the religious concentration of people here. Yeah, I know that's a bold statement, but I think it's true. And my question to those who hate Utah because they recognize that yes, the LDS concentration here does have a huge impact on the culture and thus an impact on a lot of policies, laws, and attitudes here, and they don't like it, then really, why stay? Now, I don't want to be one of those who say "well if you hate it move" because that's somewhat unrealistic for a lot of people. Maybe they would move if they could. But, if you're one of those people, wouldn't your life be much improved if you accepted (not to say you don't have to desire change of course) but at least had an attitude of "well, I do live in a city that is the HEADQUARTERS OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER DAY SAINTS!!! and may have to interact with those who belong to that Church and additionally be slightly effected by that religion sometimes."

If you still must hate it, consider this line of reasoning:

Utah was settled by Mormon pioneers. Thus, the state's birth and subsequent growth was extended by those of the LDS faith. The first thing pioneers did when they arrived in what is now Utah, was pave the way and prepare to build a temple. Pioneers were sent all over the state to create a safe-haven and establish colonies, a place where they could worship and practice their beliefs in peace. The state of Utah is steeped in Mormon heritage and tradition. And only when (as the biggest factor)the Union Pacfic and Central Pacific railroads met at Promontory Point in Utah forming the transcontinental railroad did a greater influx of Americans begin to enter Utah who did not do so for reasons of religious worship. And thus, Utah began to be integrated into the United States, bring in businesses and industry, and is what it is today. Not as diverse as many other states with very different histories, but it's growing and diversifying as it has since those first Mormon Pioneers entered the valley. THUS - here is my question - if you are frustrated or bothered by this influence in the state of Utah, then I might suggest you utilize some logic and see that it was settled by Mormons, the headquarters of a quickly growing Church is in Salt Lake City, as well as the gathering place for semi-annual conferences, the historic Salt Lake City Temple and now new family history library, and Brigham Young University, a large private Mormon University that brings in many members from all over the United States, from all over the world.

So really, really? You are angry because Utah has a lot of LDS influence and you HATE living in Utah because there are so many MORMONS??? It's like moving to Vatican City and hating Catholics... or to India and hating Buddhists and Hindus... or parts of the Middle East and being annoyed at the Muslim influence " Why do we have to kneel and pray to the sounding of a bell at certain times!!! (shake fist) I hate living here in this highly concentrated Muslim area!"

Like, really? I for one would very much expect if I were to move to Vatican City that much of my daily routine, even the sights I see everyday, and much of that cities politcal influence, would have a connection to Catholicism in some resepct. And I, though not being part of that belief system, would have to either accept that that influence is steeped in centuries (in this case) of tradition and that statistically, because there could be a very large Catholic membership and thus MANY of it's political figures and choices would belong to that faith and thus, lean towards their innate biases, OR curse them all, say I HATE Vatican City and the Catholic influences there, and be angry about it the entire time I live there. Which sounds better to you?

And, if that's not the reason you HATE Utah then first, I still don't get it ;) ha!, but secondly, I don't see how long I could stay in someplace I truly loathed that much. Nor do I see how someone can CHOOSE to MOVE out here from another place and then hate it with everything they have. And, if it's a choice (opposed to those who don't have the means or ability to change their situation), can't you CHOOSE to live somewhere you like a little more? If you move to Utah, at some level residents will need to accept that the LDS Church does have a strong influence here, just like any other major religions headquarters will likely have a strong influence where they are. Religions throughout history have patterns of gathering together, to worship together, and to be near those who practice how they do. It's human nature to create support mechanisms and be "part of something."Muslims from all over the world travel thousands of miles to Mecca to worship together. It's a beautiful and exciting thing when you can be somewhere, even for a short time (i.e. General Conference weekend as my closest to home example) and learn about your faith together with others who also share those ideas. And if someone HATES that Mormons do that in Utah, you've probably chosen the wrong place to live. Or need a serious attitude adjustment; for your own good.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Finding the other side of 25

Yesterday was my 26th Birthday. And as one tends to do as they begin to pass such desirable age-landmarks as 16, 18, 21, and even 25, and enter the realm of “I’d rather not get much older thanks” of the 29’s, 35’s and GASP 50’s???, one starts to reflect on the past years and of course, the years ahead (like, how close you are truly getting to 30 and still very single… uh… as a random example).

My life is very different on this October 12th than it was last October 12th. Needless to say, I can already feel I’m going to prefer the post-25 years compared with the pre-25 years. The pre-25 years are full of a lot of growing, refining, struggles, and identity searching in a very short period of time. Being a 20-25 something is one big transitory period that includes some major life decisions. We all know that you can screw your life up during High School by the choices you make; I believe you can equally screw (or solidify) your life in the early 20’s as well. You have the opportunity to define what you do for the rest of your life… however long that might be. Yeah. Kinda a big deal… kinda a hard time… but of course, with some irreplaceable life experiences and a zeal to press on press on press on, the early 20's can make or break you.

Let us speak now of the post-25’s – likely you have your world set before you and are starting to recognize the consequences (or rewards) of your choices made in your pre-25 years. Many over 25’s are done with some portion of education, or beginning a promising career, or settled into their career for a few years. Many post-25’s may have started some semblance of a family, or traveled out of the country, or participated in a marathon, finally have dental insurance, or even just able to buy a car that doesn’t come with weird quarks like having to coax it into reverse, no air conditioning, or having to climb in the passenger side door because the handle broke off your 87 Plymouth Horizon lovingly referred to by your friends as “the whore.” You might say that your post-25’s are the true beginning of adulthood. You’re entering the realm of real responsibility and instead of having dreams and aspirations; you can actually see them coming true; finally on your way. Go ahead man! Set the cruise for a few miles and enjoy what your pre-25 choices have given you. Roll down that window, breath in some fresh air, and consider yourself a working professional. Goodness; someone might even take you seriously now! You should buy a suit or something!
Yes, I believe the other side of 25 will work out just fine for me. I feel that the second half of the 20’s is MY half. Sure I guess some could experience that “it feels good to know me and be me” earlier than 25, but I think my pre-25 years prepared me for what’s coming… the other side of 25; the better half; my better half.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Fall: The Season of Pumpkins, Tights, Football, and FAILURE

I adore the Fall. Adore it. Hands down favorite season. The smells, the food, the holidays (Hurrah Halloween!), the Birthday (woot), the football, the colors, the crisp fall air, the sweaters, the cardys, school, warm homes, reading novels by the fire, pumpkins and nutmeg and cinnamon and baking, and (gasp for breath) I just LOVE it. And I believe that's what's gotten me through the last 3 years of what I will refer to as; "the worst seasons of my life" or "Fall Failures" or " What the *^$(#&^!!!" Though, I think loving Fall softened the blows of life during the past 3 years of Fall season. Stupid life and its blows. I shall explain...

For the past 3 falls/winters, I've struggled through all those struggles and trials and confusions and general crappyness that life inevitably dishes you sometimes. No one can avoid a healthy helping of steaming crap once in awhile, and if they try and tell you different, they lie. They lie pathetically. They lie delusionally. LIARS! All of them!!!

I admit when I noticed September approaching while going over my work and school schedule, I was thrown into fits of panicked nostalgia as I recalled where I was last fall and the fall before that... aaaaaand the fall before that.
Fall 2008: pathetically poor, dreams dashed in every way that dashing is possible from childhood on up, homeless (i.e. squatting at a friends and then mooching off my awesome Aunt in T-ville), mostly jobless (i.e. temping at the time), clothesless (from giving up all my clothes for said smashed childhood dreams), and incredibly, pathetically, newly abandoned by a boy and feeling utterly alone in a very dark and foreboding place. I remember my Birthday last year; and as one does when Birthdays roll around, I evaluated my life, and it came up ridiculously short. Turning 25, and ridiculous. That was my motto for the day. 25 is supposed to be the prime of the 20's!! Alas... not so much. It was my anti-prime.

Fall of 2007. This fall was full of much of the same, moved to a bran new town where I'd just LOST my first teaching job, struggling to find ANYONE to hire a poor college grad with an English teaching degree (data entry and retail as it ended up... wow the $20,000 undergrad was super worth it... cough), emotionally strung out from yet another poorly disabled and always dysfunctional relationship (that was to be followed by yet another... and then one more for good measure), and feeling, once again, pathetic, alone, and discarded. And stupid winter doesn't help what with its gloomy skies and biting freeze. Oh and my car broke down that year. Adding insult to injury really.

And lastly, Fall/Winter 2007: the hardest year of school I'd ever encountered, a lot of family traumas and stresses, again, you guessed it, emotionally crippling relationship problems (suddenly I wonder why I don't hate men yet... ha ha ha! Suddenly I'm GLAD I don't hate men! I don't want to add "became bitter and angry this year too" to this list), and really, I needn't go into the gloomy cycle for you again. Just press repeat from the above and you get the picture.

It's like my Fall/Winter life was on repeat; a really sick repeat that was someones idea of a cruel joke. What am I supposed to LEARN from this? What am I to get OUT of this CYCLE? (or how can I get out of this cycle?) Heavens!! No really, Heavens, I need a little direction here because survey says (and consistency and the patterns of my life support) I'm missing a very crucial piece of the puzzle. I'm going right instead of left, down instead of up, and am a little worried about how to handle the next Falls of my life.

Well, there is a happy ending the "Falls of Failure" story, as has been mentioned before on my bloggy blogerton. I've come out of all these crappy life happenings and yes yes yes, have learned a lot from them. I am now one of those suckers that can say I am grateful for those trials. No, truly! Without them I wouldn't be the person I am today, and the person I am today is much better, more refined, mature, and better prepared than the person I was 1,2, or 3 Falls ago. We have a very short period in this life to truly prove ourselves, solidify what we believe, to mold our character, until we face our final judgement. Frankly, without these swift and extraordinarily personalized refiners fires, who are we to count ourselves worthy to sit with those who have gone through so much more before us? Have given up comfortable homes to walk hundreds if not thousends of miles to an unknown land? Have been persecuted and hated for their beliefs? Haven't had enough food for themselves or their families? Yes. I am very grateful for my trials, and wouldn't give them back for anything.


I SURE HOPE THIS FALL ISN'T ON REPEAT! For real, ya'll. In the past year, as I glance back, it's incredible to see how I ended up here, in a cozy little downtown apartment I love, in a secure job that I enjoy, going back to school at a discounted rate (that's right suckas! What what!), finding good friends and enjoying the crisp October rain (October rain? Good old Utah) as I bake Oreo cookies and finish administrative theory homework. This is the LIFE my friends! And all week I've been breathing in this unseasonably crisp air full of anticipation and excitement for the season I love so much. Even after what seems a consistent "Fall failure" pattern, I've found optimism to replace my panic; and healthy anticipation to replace my doubts. Sure, I guess Fall could be on repeat again and it could all go away, the apt, the job, the cookies (probably not the homework...psh), but if I've learned anything, our trials are only for a moment, a season if you will, and somehow I've been kept on my feet even through all the unknowns, the tears, the hurts, the doubts, and the fears. During the times I felt like throwing up my hands and giving up, something kept me pressing forward with hope, even the tiniest sliver of hope, knowing that in the end, it will all be worth it. Even if it really only is at the very end.
Perhaps in adding to the pumpkin smells, ginger snaps, Halloween costumes, and cozy sweaters, I can now happily add to my fall list of favorites a "season of refinement" and rather than shivering with panic that my life will suddenly fail again, smile with a knowledge that even if Fall fails me, the Lord won't fail me as He hasn't the last 3 Falls of my life. And I have hope that maybe THIS Fall, instead of a steamy serving of super crap, I can get a little smashed potato's, gravy, and a side of sweet sweet cobbler. Yeah. It's high time for some cobbler.

Friday, October 2, 2009

The Quotable Jillian

You watch the Biggest Loser, right? OH! You MUST! It's the most fantastic show. Sure sure, I know what you're thinking "another reality show contest blah blah blah..." no no, it's SO much more than that. So. Much. More.

The Biggest Loser airs Tuesday nights... I think from 7-9. I'm not entirely sure as I utilize the DVR (life changer) to record the episode and watch a few days later. Anyway - watching these good people go through their weight loss challenges is only half the entertainment, the other half sits squarely on the shoulders of Bob and Jillian - their bad ass trainers. There's no other way to describe them.

What I wouldn't give to work out with one of these amazing trainers for a month, a week, an HOUR! I'm sure it would cost me my entire income for the year - but still so totally worth it. If you've seen the show, you know EXACTLY what I'm talking about; they're intense, downright mean, they push and shove the contestants past their limits and even beyond that. There's barfing and sweat and tears, and DAH! It's freaky awesome. If I had Bob or Jillian with me - I'd be one seriously hot-bodied chica. You know it. And I know it. Alas, I'm not quite out of shape enough to apply for the Biggest Loser, and not nearly as rich or awesome enough to even consider paying a regular trainer in SLC let alone the best trainers in the WORLD, thus, I shall have to settle for mini-Jillians and Bobs via DVD. Kinda takes away that "in your face" intensity though. Perhaps I can buy a really big TV and turn it up really loud... hmmmm.... yeeeeees.

(glazed look)...

But, what's really fantastic about the show (other than the bad ass trainers) is the bond these contestants create with each other. Unlike other shows like Survivor or Amazing Race where it's all about "the game" and beating the other teams out. All the contestants (except maybe one or two... cough... Tracy... cough crazy bag...) want the other to succeed just as much as they want to succeed themselves. It's inspiring, it's emotional, and it's truly beautiful. I will tell you I cry (not tear) but nearly weep every single episode. Sometimes reality TV does something right. Suddenly, media isn't the amoral pushing the edge trivial fodder that melts our brains into mushy lameness. Sometimes, it inspires us. The Biggest Loser is one of those shows.

OH! So! The quotable Jillian. She says the best stuff. Rockin Bod. No-nonsense attitude. And the phrases to match. I would like to list a few of my favorites from the past weeks and hopefully keep a consistent weekly record of "The Quotable Jillian" every subsequent week after that... we'll see how it goes:

"I won't co-sign on that bull crap!" (Week 1 - awesome)

"That girl is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!"


"Tracy, you are full of SHI*!... okay, I'm done."

"We are the BEST trainers in the ENTIRE world and YOU gave US up for 2lbs?!?!? 2lbs???? Oh! I could THROTTLE you!"

My friends, if anything, it's worth tuning in for those timeless words of wisdom. She should make t-shirts, NO! She should make work-out under armor t-shirts to sell in sporting good stores. Can't you just see someone jogging down the street with "I won't co-sign that bull crap" on their backs? Rockin.

Oh, and Bob's awesome too. Mostly hot. Yeah... Bob is super hot.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

I feel it. Feel it real good. I hate waiting.

Oh, The Temptation from Steve V on Vimeo.

"In this reprise of a now-classic Stanford psychological experiment from the 1960s, kids are put in a room with a marshmallow and told they can either eat it immediately or wait until the researcher gets back, and they'll be given a second marshmallow. Hilarity ensues as the kids suffer marshmallow temptation!

But the consequences go deeper: In the New Yorker article "Don’t!" from May that detailed the very same experiment, it turned out that the ones who passed the marshmallow test enjoyed greater success as adults. Said Walter Mischel, the Stanford professor of psychology in charge of the experiment, "What we’re really measuring with the marshmallows isn’t will power or self-control... It’s much more important than that. This task forces kids to find a way to make the situation work for them. They want the second marshmallow, but how can they get it? We can’t control the world, but we can control how we think about it.”

Monday, September 28, 2009

I'm putting off homework... and finding infamy in unexpected places

I really don't want to start my homework and I know I HAVE to... alas... here I am posting on my blog when there are mounds of texts and assignments for the "getting to." I will tell you another reason I am putting off doing my homework - it's because I already did half of it and it was LOST! Seriously, technology is a large LOSE sometimes. I big fat fail. On Friday, being a very studious little grad student, I did a good portion of my homework for one of my classes. As part of this class we have to write something called "micro themes" to outline our opinion on certain bits of our weekly (500 pages of doom) reading. WELL! Granted these micro themes only need to be 100-150 words long, they still have to encompass some rather meaty topics and at least give the semblance of "grad school" level understanding. This is were I'm glad I was an English major and can many times make it sound like I know what I'm talking about when really... ahem... well anyway.

POINT! My BRAN NEW WORK COMPUTER had itself a bit of a crash Sunday night for no reason other than to torture me (I'm sure of it) and anything that was saved from 5:00 on Friday night until Monday when I reconnected to the network at work was lost. So! Micro-theme? Gone. Alas. It could be much worse than a 150 word summary, but it's still hella annoying to have to duplicate work. Especially about chapters describing bureacratic structures and discpline theories. Awesome.

So it's being put off...

And while putting it off I have checked the Facebook rounds, my bank account (still there - wahoo!), and then proceeded to my blog to see if any sad little BYU fans had commented on my video (evil grin insert here). Well, no comments (MWA hahahaha!), but in my procrastination efforts to GET to my blog, I typed my addy in the search engine portion and BING pulled up some interesting websites. Come to find, I am rather famous on a few websites for my remarks upon a little post I wrote around this time last year about the Mormon Muffins calendar coming out... er... sometime. Shrug. Glazed look... when WAS that supposed to come out? I'm sure we'll hear ALL about it when it finally does and rest assured - me and all my "friends" (sarcasem here) will be there to voice our opinions. I did find however, that that post was not only a topic of comment on my own blog, but in fact, made the "headline" for many other blogs, many of which are specifically created to bash Mormons and Mormon ways and bring up all bad experiences ever had with a member of the Mormon church and about how Mormon dogs are terrible too, etc, etc. This concept always blows my mind slightly. Why someone would establish a blog for the sole purpose of slamming on other people's beliefs. I mean SURE, it's one thing to post our own opinion on our own established little blogs because we have something to say about this, that, or the other. But as a personal opinion I've always found it strange that folks specifically establish blogs for the gathering together and discussing how much they hate other people's belief systems. Meh. Free country. I realize just because I don't get it doesn't mean it's wrong or anything. Naw. Just strange... and to me kinda a waste of time and energy, yes? Perhaps.

At any rate, it was not only my Mormon Muffin opinion (i.e. somewhat of a rant because it really pushed a button for me...) that was discussed and added to the list of "why we hate Mormons and their ways, dogs, faces, lawns" but a number of other posts I've stated my opinion on a variety of "heated" issues between the LDS church and a variety of groups. Shrug. Who knew? I don't mind them discussing my outlook on things and if they utilize it to fuel their hate, well that's too bad. But if not me, there would be other fuels for that fire. Folks with so much hatred find ways to fuel it. It's like Joseph Smith said, people can leave the church, but they can't leave it alone. How true that is. I truely wonder if some folks spend their days searching the Internet for more evidence to support their personal vendetta's against a religion they don't even belong to anymore. Or they wait in the shadowy corners of the blogosphere for that "chick who blogged about that calendar" to post again so they can scream "YOU SEE! THIS IS WHY I HATE YOU! ALL OF YOU! YOU ALL JUDGE ME!" I just like Lion House rolls man... calm down. I guess "best in the world" can't really be proven but they are pretty stinking good! The real irony is many of them started their posts about MY post saying "she probably won't even post this comment... GRAH!!" when actually, being one who will post opinions for or against issues I talk about because I do feel all sides should be heard, DID post MANY of their comments... unless they were exceptionally crude or pathetically lame... ya know like the "your mom is a muffin!" sort of thing. Believe me, I'm doing YOU a favor for not posting those. Next time don't check your brain power at the door... bring 'er on in.

Alas, now that I have posted yet possibly one more topic that can be made infamous on those particularly negative against the LDS church sites, guess I'll get to my homework... again. Honestly, some of the above sass is probably attributed to my annoyance about having to re-do homework. In fact, I'd say about 90% of the sass is contributed to that... the other 10%? That's just me. :)

Sunday, September 20, 2009

This weekend I shamelessly flirted with a 21-year-old

I am 25, practically 26 (October 12th), and this weekend during a huge stake service project, I met a young strapping lad with whom I passed the morning with happily. There were about 300 people present at said event from our Stake, and we were divided by respective multi-colored wrist-bands that indicated what service we would be providing for the surrounding community that day. I, having a yellow wrist-band, joined the "painting group" and commenced painting a lovely little house in the Rose Park community with other happy singles. On the roof of this house is where I found this strapping boy, about 6'3 respectively (for some reason I've been into the "tallish" ones as of late... I'm sure it will pass) reaching the "hard to reach" places with his little paint brush. I climbed the ladder leaning on the house near his roof perch and we began interacting as singles tend to interact... personal jabs, clever little remarks, and all smiles. Oh and naturally when there is paint involved, it's an easy way for dudes to utilize the opportunity to put paint on you. How coy. ;) The dances we dance.

So, upon some interaction with boy I first thought he might be around 23 or 24 - which was fine and dandy with me. In fact, besides the "tall" factor, I've started to prefer fella's my age or a "little younger" when it comes to the dating. I know that seems a little weird (aka non-traditional), and there's no pattern in my dating life that would indicate any sort of cougar-esque tendencies (QUITE the opposite) but for some reason, younger seems better. That does seem to be the trend these days... the cougar part. Though I might add if any of you dare call me a cougar I will of course, think you are referring to that team down south and will subsequently hunt you down with my Ute SPEAR! You have been warned.

Anyway... a few cheesy and pukey paint fights and shameless flirtatious remarks later, I find that this young boy with innocence gleaming from his eyes is, in fact, 21 years old and has been of "the mish" for 5 months. Alrighty then. 21. Immediately my mind pounces on three facts:

1. I have a little brother older than him
2. I have a second little brother his same age serving a mission now and
3. I have a third little brother who's as close to his age as I am.

Wow. I'm gross.

Upon further interaction it was very clear his age fit him. Example: he still has a continued zeal for life and the mucho energy to be such a flirty little monkey. And really, it was awesome. Lets be honest, it was a nice refreshing reminder of how fun it used to be to date and be around the opposite sex. Remember those days? When we used to ENJOY the game? When it used to be fun to spot a nice looking boy with his heavy backpack, cherub cheeks, and missionary haircut sitting in his little corner of the Institute building working on his Math 1050 homework? Aw. Those were the days... alas. Now I differentiate ages by tense.. "what is your major" vs. "what was your major." Oh like undergrad? Yes... he asked me my current major. Well son, in Grad school it's a little different. How about you? Undecided? Ah well... you're only a... cough... sophomore. Plenty of time. Yeah I think minoring in the language you served your mission in is a super great idea (... ... ... ...).

But again, it was refreshing to meet a cute little fellow who still has his "find a girl-dar" activated and in essence, TRIES. In my own "age-bracket", well, here comes my honesty again, every woman is bitter and every dude is set in his ways (aka going nowhere fast). Ha. Alright. Not EVERY woman nor every man 25 and older is in the afore mentioned general categories, but many are. And many start getting that taint at about... well... 25! As for myself, I'm working very hard to NOT become that girl with the "I already hate you because you're a man and men are tools" look lasering from my eyes. And what better way to keep myself young and full of hope then shamelessly flirting (no really... it was sort of sickening and almost pathetic) with a cutsey little 21 year old fresh of his mish? Eh??? Nothin! It was fun. He was a nice boy, and I'm a short girl that probably looked about 21 too. He even said I was cute and funny. Aw. I've not heard that I was cute and funny... well... I can't remember when (or if) I've been told I was cute or funny (to quote "the funniest girl ever!") in a long time... or ever.

Lesson learned: young boys still like girls - and aren't tainted by them. And I would wager it's the same on the other end - young girls still like boys - and aren't embittered towards them. We all want a little love... but how can you expect to get some love with that ugly scowl on your face sister? Or by not asking anyone out... EVER, Mr. "Cool"? Seriously. Sometimes we seriously sabotage ourselves. Though of COURSE I know it all "gets old" and we all grow weary of the game and the bad experiences, but be of good cheer! Smile! Dare to have that hope again like you did as a young fresh-faced 21-year-old and even then if you don't find the eternal companion of your heart, I bet you'll feel better anyway. Go ahead! Flirt with the 21 year old!

As for me, I'm not ashamed to stand up and say "This weekend I shamelessly flirted with a 21-year-old... and I'll do it again!!!" Well... maybe when I turn 26 I'll shamelessly flirt with a 22 year old. That doesn't seem as pervy. And dudes, anything with "teen" in the age is ALWAYS too young and forever unacceptable. That needed to be made clear in case any of these words come back to haunt me ;) Double standard? Sure a little - but maybe the trend will shift from cougars back to pervs again soon. You never know.