Friday, October 22, 2010

Look at this post... now out the window (or just somewhere else... mainly) back at this post...

Sadly, you will be experiencing something akin to this at Christmas:

Perhaps this:

Or maybe even this:

While I will be experiencing this:

And some of this (is that Cabo you ask? Why, yes. Yes, it is):

And probably this:

And A LOT of this:

Bon Voyage! (Suckers!)

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Life. Complete.

It's official. I now have absolutely no reason to travel beyond a 5 block radius for anything. School, work, shopping, theater, eating of delicious things, and now... and NOW!!!

(pronounced Tar-jay)

Life is good. So very good. No more driving to Centerville or Fort Union for me. No no! Instead, I will leisurely drive to the bran spanking new DOWNTOWN located Target for all my Targeting needs. What joy. 

And here is my mom being harassed by a zombie. I felt this was a necessary picture to show the world. I mean, when else do you exclaim, "And the red eye in that picture is AWESOME!" Exactly. 

My mom and I went to Thriller last weekend - one of my all time favorite Halloweening things to do. I've gone every year for 3 years now and plan on going over and over again in the future. It just t'ain't Halloween without some dancing Zombies. Right? Well, dancing harassing zombies. That makes it a little more special.

Here's to another 2 weeks of Halloweening Shenanigans! You best believe there's more to come... (Ooooooo....)

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Pretty Princess Par-tay and accompanying Epiphany.

For those of you who are wondering, it WAS my Birthday yesterday. A rather auspicious occasion I would say. I did say! Just now. I, SAY! (said Britishly....). Consuming ADD medication... and continue.

27 years. That's how long I've walked the earth. Much like dinosaurs used to walk the earth for a time. What do dinosaurs have to do with anything? Well, they don't I guess.  I just find the phrase "walked the earth" generally applies to things of epic proportions like dinosaurs and... woolly mammoths. "When dinosaurs walked the earth... insert incredible fact about gigantic flesh eating plant life and non-global warming effected weather patterns (then insert agenda)..." You follow me? No? Well, onward then.

ALSO! Halloween is my favorite holiday. It happens to land during my favorite month: October. Also housed in October you will find such pleasant things as my Birthday, Columbus day, my Birthday, UEA weekend, "huntin" season for you "huntin'ers", Canada's Thanksgiving, the go-ahead to sport burnt red tops and dust off the sweater tights, General Conference, mucho football games, and my Birthday. So I says to myself I says SELF! If you claim that October is your favorite month and subsequently, Halloween is your favorite holiday, then why have we (my self and my brain talking to myself = we... precious) not thought to combine the two? Why indeed!!! Picture this: themed party. Eh? Eh?!?!?!

This year for my Birthday and in celebration of October and All Hallows Eve, I had a Pretty Pretty Princess Party. It's not weird because it's October (dress ups expected), and it's awesome because my friends and I are ALSO awesome. Logically, it shouldn't be any other way. Too think I've been irrationally celebrating my birthday all these years. Alas!

It went something like this:

A gathering of Princessy Proportions for a fine and dandy meal at Biaggi's. Here here!

 An excellent display of snobbery, I'd say.

 Presents! Me likey presents. Pretty Princess Presents!

 Sounds like a puppy. Is it a puppy? It sounds like a puppy.

 As all princesses would, we had the Royal Dance of the Gateway Water Fountain. What Form! What Grace!

 Now thems be some sassy ladies.

And this is my fuzz, YooHoo. I brought fuzz along to ironically ride around in my pretty purple Prada bag to mock wannabe princesses and their fuzzy rat-dogs. This represents my fuzzy rat-dog. A stuffed, crowned, creepy eyed bush squirrel that makes an enchanting "ringa dinga ding!" noise when you squeeze him. Ever tried to squeeze a rat-dog? Not. Recommended.

A tradition is clearly emerging, wouldn't you agree? Pretty Princesses this year, next year, Superheros! Or a Witch convention (save the wise-cracks), or Ironic T-shirt Party! The sky's the limit.

On a serious note - I did have a little reflection on my past 27 years. And I feel... good. I've done a handful of commendable things and most importantly, most relieving, I don't feel I've wasted too much of my life with things of no worth. Sure, there's been a boy here or there that definitely wasn't worth the time or a mountain that ended up not being worth climbing and merely taking the route around its base, but in retrospect, those things were always worth the lesson. Seeing the progression that comes from the rough patches is rather rewarding - and in every way encouraging. I'm right where I need to be, when I need to be, and doing what needs to be done. There's some comfort in that. There's a lot of comfort in that.

Cheers 27!

Oh, and Heidikins won the trash bags because the rest of you yacks didn't even TRY for it. Was it because of the bags or the pressure? Alright, different (not better) prize and less pressure. Contest #2 will be epic! Think: bush squirrels.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Announcing: Contests!!!!

First, who doesn't want a new pair of shoes? Particularly if those shoes are FREE?!?!? Alright maybe hobbits don't really care for new shoes - as they don't wear them. Their feet ARE their shoes. And if you had tough large furry feet, they'd serve as both foot and shoe for you too. So don't be hatin on the hobbites, precious.

I have a friend called heidikins who loves shoes... nay... is obsessed with shoes. Shoes shoes shoes, she says to me. And I say... ah yes, shoes. Because heidikins loves her shoeses (precious), she's put together a lovely little website ( and of course, a lovely little contest to win some smashing new shoes! And by smashing I mean autumn yellow snake skin heels a la Nine West. Boo-ya. And being the supportive friend I am... and always wanting something for nothing... I went ahead and did my friend duty and submitted my "comment" for shoe-winner consideration (what a great friend!) AND, am telling all you good people about it too (so three of you! Thanks Jaime and Mom!... Craig... I'm telling you but... I'd ask you don't submit to win because knowing my luck and knowing your tomfoolery, you'd actually win... and this is one irony I would NOT enjoy).

SO! Here's the link to THE SHOEOLOGIST (GIST! Gist gist... gist...)... and here's the shoes I' someones going to win.

Oh, and contest details:

To celebrate the launch of my new, shoe-obsessed corner of the Internet I will be giving away a free pair of shoes.  Yes, you read that correct, FREE SHOES!  Specifically, this gorgeous pair of mustardy-yellow, snakeskin stilettos from Nine West.  I have been coveting these for several weeks now–the color  is divine, the shape is classic, and I can’t imagine a better color for fall.

There are a few ways you can enter to win, and I hope you do a little of everything to increase your chances of free footwear!

1. Leave a comment on this post, make sure you use a valid email address. Duplicate comments will be thrown out.

2. Tweet about this contest, make sure to include BOTH a link to this post and mention @theshoeologist so I can track your entry. (And while you’re tweeting, go ahead and follow me as well for more updates and info about contests and giveaways.)

3. Post about this contest on your own blog, make sure to send a direct link to heidi.theshoeologist [at] gmail [dot] com or @theshoeologist so I can get you entered.

Contest is open until October 15, 2010 at midnight Pacific Time. I will combine all entries from comments, tweets and blog posts and use to generate a winner. The lucky winner will be announced on Monday, Oct. 18.


Maybe I should do a contest. Ya know? I mean, contests seem to really get people involved... That's it. Just involved for the sake of being involved. "I participated in this contest so now I'm involved!" Who doesn't like being involved and furthermore, who doesn't like the chance to win some prize! Any prize! Even if it's a box of free garbage bags! The fact that it can be WON increases the value of anything, don't you think? It's a win win! First, you get something for free (no matter what it is) and second, you WON something! I can see why gambling can be so addictive - even at the penny slots, "Ruthy! Look! I won 50 pennys! 50!??! for 1 penny and I got 50!!"... unamused, "that's great Earl..." sipping her whisky and tonic, wondering how she ever thought that fat brain-dead schlub was worth her entire youth.

At any rate, the personal self-worth and self-esteem gained from beating a bunch of other people with minimum output is exhilarating! I'd like to be the catalyst for such irrational euphoria!



Have you ever experienced the annoyance that comes with taking out the trash only to come back and find you are completely out of replacement trashbags? So you think "Man, I don't want to go to the store for just trash bags at 9:00pm on a Tuesday... I'll go tomorrow..." and for the ensuing 3 days, you attempt to stretch a lingering plastic grocery bag over your kitchen trashcan or hell, just use the can anyway and plan on dumping its nastified remnants into a trash bag as soon as you go buy them... which will be today for sure! Nothing is more annoying. Well, perhaps running completely out of toilet paper right in your moment of greatest need. That might be slightly more annoying... or a lot more.

Well dear friends, I'd like to help you shave one less annoyance out of your life. Or at least, let you win a prize!! BEHOLD!!!
"How?!??!" you might ask, "Can I win such a practical and ingenious prize and BEAT everyone else who wants to win this prize with very minimum output?"

Let me tell you:
1. You must comment on this blog about why you deserve this box of garbage bags more than the next guy... and trust me.... that next guy's got his reasons.

2. You must have at one time or another, run out of garbage bags and been subsequently annoyed about it.

3. Post this gem of a contest on some e-forum you're "involved" in (FB, Twitter, Blog of your own, email to your mother... whatever).

4. Be willing to describe your euphoria at winning a prize (Andrea's Blog specifically) as a "guest post" here on my blog after you've received your winnings! What exposure!

If you feel you can meet the criteria (or at least #1) - this box of garbage bags could be YOURS!!! Don't hesitate! All submissions and requirements must be accomplished no later than... Tuesday, October 12th by midnight. Why October 12th? Well, you dolt! It's my BIRTHDAY! That's the only reason you need! And nothing says Happy Birthday like a contest deadline... for garbage bags... I... yes.

Good luck to all contestants! I thank you in advance for making this contest possible!