Foodie Metamorphosis and Strange Cravings

It’s natural when one progresses to adulthood to have one's food desires and tastes shift. Some go from hating all types of onions on anything, to dabbling in placing them amongst hamburgers or grilling them alongside the peppers you also hated as a child for a delicious homemade fajita which was also gross. .

As for me…

I recall not liking the following as a wee child. (Note the irony of going from not liking "bad for you foods" to liking "bad for you foods." My life never has and never will make sense. You should likely be used to that by now).

• French Fries. What the hell? Yep. I didn't like them and could easily fore go a French fry with incredible indifference. "Away with it! Where is my juice?" baby fist pound.
•  Syrups. Hated syrups. I was a jam girl thank you.
• Pancakes. 
• Onions of all sorts… clearly. What kid likes onions? Loser-kids that’s who. Were YOU a loser kid?
• Peppers of all sorts (see #4 explanation of onions)
• Fajitas – why have a fajita when there is chicken fingers to be gobbled?
• Donuts. I really disliked donuts. They didn’t appeal to me on any level – even the Butterfinger donuts from the Food Ranch. You should know that’s a big deal to not like Butterfinger donuts from the Food Ranch. It's basically crazy talk.
• Pastries of all sorts.
• Overly fried anything… in addition to the actual French fries.
• Hot dogs. Gross. Pass.

What I will now eat as an adult from the above mentioned list... and perhaps why I exercise more as well.

• French Fries. Well, I’m picky about my fries but I like them more than I did as a wee one. My pickiness is contained to Wendy’s fries (which may not seem picky at all but never the less) Red Robin steak fries, Crown Burger fries, and store bought sweet potato crinkle fries. Mmm… sweet potato crinkle fries. 
• Pancakes. I don’t necessarily like them, but I’m no stranger to the “Banana Pancakes (with syrup) on the weekend” craving. I also enjoy IHOP's Fall special pancakes. Oh... oh those are tasty.
• Onions – I like them, mostly. Purple onions are my favorite and I feel they bring a nice flavor mixed with the grilled…
• Peppers – which I like to plop altogether upon a…
• Fajita.
• Hot Dogs. I don’t mind ‘em now but most definitely prefer my dogs at a baseball game or dripping in some sort of special sauce. There was once a time where I’d always pick a burger over a dog at a BBQ… now? I’m entirely unpredictable as to my meat of choice! I could pick anything! ANYTHING! Ahahahahahahah! Lightening flash! Thunder clap!

The dislikes that stuck...

I still don’t like fried things. When glancing over a menu and things are dipped into a vat of bubbling oil which produces a crisp beige-like crust upon otherwise delicious and possibly healthy food – I have to say no no no thank you. And it’s not entirely a “health” thing – as it is a “this makes my tummy hurt and doesn’t taste good” thing. Exceptions?  A few French fry confections as noted above and chicken nuggets. YUM! I like chicken nuggets AND chicken strips. Fry those suckers on UP! Serve 'em with sauce! 

I still don’t like Pastries. When I say pastry I mean jelly filled crumbly confections just screaming “not worth it” from their glistening sugar coating. And it’s not worth it. Like the fried stuffs, it’s not entirely a health thing as a “this makes you feel sick every time” sort of thing. And some things are WORTH feeling sick after eating…. Like an entire container of chocolate frosting and graham crackers. WAY worth it. Pastries? Not.

And finally…

The biggest change of all…

Donuts.

I don’t like most donuts still – BUT – I’ve strangely been craving chocolate cake donuts almost every single day for two months. A strange craving indeed. A donut is not usually something I would seek out, rather, would accept upon it being offered and generally implore said offerer to “half it with me, will you?” While living in Provo, I went through a “Crunch Donut” and Diet Coke breakfast phase for a while, and then realized the combination sugar/caffeine crash was ruining my 10am-2pm work efficiency (though my 6am-10am efficiency was like a 9 year old on Halloween night tweaking out on a 10lb bag of candy - good memories) and had to stop such shenanigans. Even during that phase, I didn’t crave a donut… and was surprised I had even adapted to eating one once in a while when offered. My dislike was such when I was a wee child, I could walk by a table glistening with any assortment of donuts and not even bat an eye.

Now?

Now all I want almost every day is a chocolate cake donut. They’re so... chocolatey and cakey. I think if I didn’t have any self-respect or desire to get married...ever, I would probably eat one every single day. As it is, it’s been ohhhhh… when was the Walking Dead finale… almost a month since my last cake donut consumption? And then probably a month before that one… and then probably years and years and possibly my WHOLE LIFE before that one. What happened?!?! It's like alcoholism. You may never know you're an  alcoholic if you never take that first drink. But drink I have (metaphorically...clearly) and in doing so triggered my "chocolate cake donut" addiction. I even avoid the bakery section of the grocery store - my all time favorite section - just so I don't have to fight the devil donut in my head whispering it's "come hither little girl... you ran today... you can have a donut or six or 24...  eat, drink and be merry!" Get thee hence chocolate cake donut devil!

Though I'm sure you will likely still see me shamefully consuming a chocolate cake donut in a darkened ally way with frosting on my lips and a maniacal look in my eye once in awhile. The devil wins sometimes... and a splendid win it is. 

So you see… as I’ve progressed into adulthood sure my tastes and cravings have changed. But these last two months have been a real challenge with this newly added desire for everything chocolate cake donut. In fact, today may be the devil's day because all this talk about chocolate cake donuts is making my eye twitch. Must. Consume.

Find Me a Find, Catch me a Catch…

Turns out none of you give a damn… darn… about my taking the biggest step towards accomplishing my three year long “run a half marathon” resolution. That’s fine. Just dandy. Thanks a whole heap.

Alright, I’m sure you “care” in the loosest sense of the term – as in “sure I care… I just don’t really CARE as in care, ya know?” or “I care… just not as much as I care about the depletion of the ozone or a cure for testicular cancer,” OR, “I care…but I care more about how your Mormon Matchmaker interview went on Friday so quit posting sub-par narcissistic posts about goals we’ve long expected you to fail and get to it!” Fair enough. Fair. E. Nuff.

First, here’s my outfit (gold sandals not seen – thus trust that they are adorable). My favorite part of this picture is my toothy T-Rex grin. Grrrrrr!

Dress - Target $25, Belt - borrowed from Jaime for the price of sweet sweet loving (way worth it), Cuff - Forever 21 $8, Earrings - Anthro $40 (any excuse! I BORROWED a BELT), Shoes, Piperlime - $17)

Note that I am first and foremost, not an avid picture taker for no other reason than laziness and second, most definitely not a “take a picture of myself in a mirror” picture taker; particularly if it starts taking longer than 8 minutes. That’s my threshold – if it takes longer than 8 minutes is it worth it? Ask yourself this question and see the efficiency in your life skyrocket.

SECOND, the interview went very well I’d say. In fact, I have long boasted that if I can get in for an interview (to anything) it’s likely I will get whatever it is I interview for unless Providence has other plans. The interview was mainly an expansion of what was addressed in the Skype interview they conducted nigh a month ago except this time it was in front of a white screen with two big bright lights, a camera, and interviewer. It was at this point I thanked my J-O-B for affording me the opportunity to have some experience with delivering a line on camera. I knew where to look (and where not to look), to start my answer with the question, but not in a Jr. High restate the question sort of way, and was able to interact with the interviewer pretty naturally for the most part. Plus, I like being the center of attention AND I once had dreams of becoming the next Katie Couric so you better believe I live my life for the few moments where I get the chance to act out what my life might have been had a pursued Broadcast Journalism instead of education. No regrets, though. No regrets.

There were a few questions that stood out… such as:

• So, do you think something is wrong with you and that’s why you’re still single?

a.       Answer – Absolutely not. I feel there is likely something wrong with the entire male populace rather than a single individual that is me. I'm a gem!

b.      Real answer – Of course I’ve wondered that. Any woman my age in Utah and not married (or dating) wonders if there’s something wrong with her. If she’s doing something wrong or needs to tweak or adjust her technique somehow that just might make all the difference in her dating life. Yes! And realistically, I must acknowledge that the common denominator in all of my dating experiences is, in fact, me. Thus, I must take some personal responsibility in the endeavor. However, I feel over the years those tweaks and adjustments I’ve made are bringing me ever closer to that ultimate dating goal…to stop dating forever... and I foresee only improvements henceforth. (I didn’t say henceforth – which I now regret. Nothing says “stick up your butt” like using a word like, Henceforth!)

•          Tell me about yourself

a. Answer - Well, lets put it this way, if I were a vegetable, I'd be a potato. Mull that metaphor over for awhile.     

b.    Real  Answer – Can I use my prop? (see Star Trek Encyclopedia)

c.      Response – Yes?

d.       Real answer with prop in hand – I am this that and the other. I am also stuff and things… bleh blah… BUT! What’s really surprising about me is how big of a nerd I truly am. I have here a Star Trek Encyclopedia to illustrate such nerdiness (raise prop in front of camera) in case you brush my of self-proclaimed geekdom as something “all girls say to appear cute.” Clearly,  my nerdery runs deep. Real deep. Let’s go ahead and add Xena: Warrior Princess, The X-Files (Scully is my home girl – yes I said it), and the Walking Dead to that mix and you’ve got yourself a bonified nerd. Don’t believe me still? NCC 1701-D. That’s the Star Trek the Next Generation Enterprise classification number. BAM. Re-pre-sent!

•          You told me once you think you don’t date a lot because guys are scared of you. Explain that.

a.       Answer – Screw you LOSER! (crazy eyes, flared nostrils) He he... was that scary? (maniacal laughter).

b.      Real Answer – Well Matt (his name wasn’t Matt… remember… I’m reenacting my possible alternative life that would’ve involved Matt Lauer somehow), I would say they are more intimidated than scared. And this actually isn’t a designation that I’ve put on myself, but mostly from what other people have told me. I can be intimidating – all 5’2 of me. Why am I intimidating? I’m not sure. It could be the education, it could be that I’m reasonably self-assured, it COULD be that I don’t…how do I say this… shy away from “smart” conversations. Example. Second date… guy said something about tax equity, and I responded knowledgeably (as well as respectfully disagreeing with what he’d said and providing reasons why I thought so.... I’m a discusser… not arguer) and I never heard from him again. Here’s why I’m okay being a little intimidating; because I know that the guy who likes me is confident in himself and doesn’t need an overly submissive type of person to make him feel superior. He doesn't need to feel he can "control" me to feel manly. He can feel manly because he likes himself. I feel it weeds out the ones I wouldn’t be happy with anyway. So, though I am very realistically aware that amiability is more attractive than a venom squirt to the eye, I feel I can amiably express my thoughts and a confident guy will appreciate it. Eh? Eh?...

... .... ....

•          Tell me what you think about love. Love is…

a.       Answer – Love is your mom. Haw. Haw. Your. MOM!

b.      Real answer – Love is companionship. It’s anything from having someone help you carry in the groceries – which ironically is when I wish for companionship the most, 6 bags per arm – to sharing the joys and the sorrows of my everyday. It’s someone to share in this "life" experience; a partner, and a comrade. It’s someone to lean on and someone who you want to lean on you when they need too. It’s taking two whole and complete people and making them two halves of a new whole.  That’s love to me. Love is facing the storms and rainbows hand in hand.

c.       Response – That’ s adorable

d.      Reaction – Well, if there’s one thing that could be said of me it’s “I’m adorable.”

So there’s a quick rundown of a 45 minutes interview. I felt pretty good coming out of it and again, have little expectations either way. I like this “no expectations” thing because I’ve yet to be disappointed but most definitely pleasantly surprised.

What now?

Well, they may or may not call me anymore from a week to six months. Given the outline of the show, apparently they will select a couple of folks for the pilot episode on through the first season and see how it goes. I could be called to participate first or somewhere towards the last or not at all. We shall see.

Oh… and

Lifetime.  It’s no TLC but meh, TV is TV, right? Right. So set that DVR!

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match…

Remember the outfit for the “event-that-must-not-be-named” I alluded to in my last post? WELL! First, and most importantly, the outfit has been chosen and I am quite pleased. I thank you for all of your opinions via bloggery, face-bookery, and textery. It’s been most helpful and naturally, the reason why I choose fashionistas to be a part of my circle of friends. You have served your purpose well.  Pics to be posted once I actually don the finished product later today. I know you're, like, soooo interested.

Second, I’m sure you’d like to know what the “event-that-must-not-be-named” actually is. You should know that typing that phrase with dashes is rather tedious and next, I am going to make this as annoying as possible by beginning at the beginning before I just tell you what the event is already! Hurray! I also hesitated mentioning this at all because I wasn't sure if I "could." But it's not been alluded to otherwise so meh, why not. 

I was born at 11:03pm on October 12th, 1983 to Cheryl and Bru...oh wait... not that beginning. 

Several months ago, a good friend whom we shall call Holly because that is, in fact, her name, sent me a little clipping (e-clipping? Erp) from the Salt Lake Tribune with the subheading “Coming soon to a TV near you: aMormon Matchmaker reality show” exclaiming I would be her hero if I attempted to be part of these shenanigans. After a moment’s deliberation, I figured becoming someone’s hero by merely submitting answers to a few questions for a reality show I didn’t know anything about was well worth it! Hero-hood here I come! So submit I did and have since enjoyed 3 months of being a hero. It's a good feeling. If you ever have the chance to "earn" titles you don't deserve by doing things that require little effort and no foreseeable consequences or sacrifice, I suggest you do it. 

 The submission only required answering three questions “in brief” which included “Give a brief dating history” and “describe your perfect mate in 3-5 sentences.” Naturally, me being me and thinking I’m clever and funny, answered these questions in such a way that would convey such effortless cleverness.

Example

Described your perfect mate in 3-5 sentences: For the perfect man, combine the following: Indiana Jones, Maximus (Gladiator), and Atticus Finch with a dash of Agent Mulder; make him Mormon and you’ve created my perfect mate. An academic but can flick a whip (don’t get weird – it just means he’s manly you kinky bunch!), loyal, humble, and a fighter; scrupulous, a good father, hard worker, and patient; and finally, passionate and focused... and tallish. Mm hmm. 

 Eh? Eh? Well it’s my perfect not your perfect mate so back yo'self on up. And truly – I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about “my perfect mate.” Perhaps that has something to do with creating unrealistic expectations... OR the fear of gross disappointment. If you always have “perfect” in the back of your naturally flawed mortal brain, you’re setting yourself up for some monster disappointments and life long dissatisfaction. Turns out, people aren’t perfect. However, I don’t think you should settle either.  Strike a balance. Must haves… would be nice… and deal-breakers.  As I’ve gotten older, those things I like in a potential "mate" have changed… so perfect in a mortal mind is fluid as well. Thus making it even more unrealistic to try and nail down. 

I digress.

I submitted my answers and continued with my day to day living.

About a week later, I received a phone call from the casting agency for the Mormon Matchmaker reality show wanting to set up a Skype interview. With me! I must say I was surprised and most definitely curious. Mostly I wondered how slim the pickins really were to select the “Indiana Jones” girl. Am I right? We set up a Skype interview for a week hence and when the day came, I chatted with one of their folks for probably about 45 minutes. Most of the questions they asked were elaboration on the previous three I’d already submitted with some additions like “Would you ever date a divorced someone” (yes of course) or, “how important is religion in your dating” (gonna go ahead and say that is the #1 won’t compromise sort of thing... acknowledging that fate could have other plans but that’s my plan now). He also asked things like “I’m not Mormon, tell me why you want to marry another Mormon” which I responded by basically bearing testimony of temple marriage and eternal families and how that’s the only option for happiness for me because that’s how I want to live, raise my children, and share in that journey with the most important person in the world for me (Gee... tell me how your really feel). Needless to say, I was beginning to realize that if this was something I had the opportunity to participate in, I would be representing  an entire group of people and anything I did or did not do would be attached to 14 million other Latter-Day Saints. Too bad Glen Beck has never made this connection. Juuuuuust kidding… ish. And of course, I don’t think that little old me on a reality show I don’t even know I’m on yet would affect someone’s perspective of Mormons; particularly considering brighter spotlights shone on more substantial figures like Mr. Romney. But it might affect SOMEONE’s perception and that makes me a little nervous. Rep-re-sent! I should stop intermittently swearing... dammit. 

After the Skype interview ended, I was thanked and told I may or may not hear from them in 1-4 weeks. Show-biz. Always on their timetable.  Thus, day to day living resumed much as it always had; with no expectation either way.

As luck would have it though – I received an email request for an in person interview right here in downtown SLC. Naturally, SLC also happens to be the location for filming said show so let’s not pretend that my current living arrangements in SLC don’t make me an appealing candidate. I mean I’m RIGHT here.

That in-person interview is today.

Thus you see the need to pick an outfit that is representative of MOI.

Expectations?

Once again, not really. Ha! Which is probably what’s gotten me to this point in the first place. I will say, however, I’m very curious. All I know is this is a reality show featuring Mormons and a matchmaker’s attempt to help us find eternal love. Sounds about right as Reality TV goes, but as for logistics; i.e. will it be one girl set up with many guys or one guy and many girls (Bachelor flash! NO!)  or many girls and many guys? Shrug. Dunno. I’ve been promised these logistics will all be discussed today.  I am naturally a little weary of the whole thing as well. Particularly when I think of disasters (addictive disasters I admit it) like the Bachelor and the… er.. “type” of girl they clearly choose for such entertainment. It is, after all, still about entertainment! I’m just not that girl. Perhaps I’m the Ace in the hole! The quirky one who everyone feels kind of bad for but hopes upon hope that she’ll find a nerd just like her in the end!  Or perhaps they’ll make me the goody two shoes that everyone “aw… how sweet's (pat pat head head)” at her blatant naivety to things of the world. I also wonder if such a venue is somewhere I actually want to find someone to marry. If there’s one thing you can count on – it’s not to count on everyone being themselves in front of a camera. I’ll sure try my damnedest...er... darnedest, but if any research has told us anything about social experiences and attempting to make unbiased observations of groups of people’s mating rituals, it’s that you can never be sure if what you are getting is authentic or always tainted but the subjects knowledge of being under constant observation. "Act natural..." er... the first way to make me not act natural is to tell me to act natural. No one actively thinks about acting natural.... when they do it comes off as unnatural. Oh irony! I already know I’m going to be more aware of ME when it comes to representing my faith on a greater medium than my day to day interactions; so who knows how authentic I'll be. Or maybe this is a way to get me to step up a little bit more and represent a little bit better. To become the me I should be becoming anyway. 

I also think to much. So there's that.

All I DO know is that I have a really great outfit that represents my style and a Star Trek Encyclopedia and/or the complete 7 seasons of Star Trek the Next Generation on DVD (thanks, Jon and Pete!) as my prop(s) of choice. Already this is looking like a win-win scenario. Right?!?! Wish me luck!

Trying... but not too hard. An Outfit for an Occasion to be Announced Later

I have an occasion on Friday, and I need to look decent. By decent I mean put together but not contrived. You feel me, don't you? The setting - casual. The people - needing to be charmed. The person - me who likes dresses.

So here's an option.

Something(s) owned

Found at Target, $25.00

Piperlime Sale, $17, 1 year ago

Something(s) bought

Imagine a gold buckle vs the all white, $12.99, Target

Anthropologie layered gold earrings, $38... yep, more than the dress but whatever, it's Anthro

Originally I wanted a bright wide belt, but have yet to find said item. The white... I think the white could work. The particular belt at Target has gold clasps I believe, which would bring it all together nicely. Though, a bold color still may be required. I've yet to purchase the belt or earrings... and I"m going to say the earrings are being purchased, but the belt could be switched out. Discuss.

A Few Things I’ve Never Done or Experienced that Make People Go WHA?!?!

The list commences:

1.   Eaten one of those Granny cookies with pink frosting. And actually, once I realized this I decided to take a bite of one. Turns out, I could've continued never having one and still lived a very happy, long life. A life with one less reason to say "ick... huhhuu"

2.   Been to Lake Powell - not like I don't want to go. I've just never stumbled upon the opportunity (see: friends with boats who have invited me... losers)

3.    Gone Skiing (A specific "and-you-live-in-Utah?" Wha?!?!)

4.   Drank an ounce of alcohol

5.   Been in love  - nope not ever. I think I loved someone once, but I’ve never been an "we're IN love” relationship. In fact, I've only had a "possibly mutually liking eachother's company" relationship... 1.5 times. And the 1 lasted about 3 months... if I'm being generous. C'est la vie... c'est l'amore... or pas l'amore. Zut! It's okay... I don't mind waiting for Indiana Jones to swing in on his proverbial whip. At least... that better be the reason!

6.   Watched a single episode of Family Guy

7.   Never been into nor cared about “Friends” as in the TV show – not as in comrade, chum, confident, ally, buddy, or pal.

8.   Been to the Great Salt Lake (Another specific "and-you-live-in-Utah?" Wha?!?!) Though I hope to this summer. It's just that every time I suggest we go, my friends (you know the ones without boats) lament, "Why? It's nothing special... meh meh meh." Losers.

9.   Read a word of Jane Austen. This is generally followed by the exclamation, "And you're an English major!?" I didn't realize English majoring clout was so intricately connected with Ms Austen. Turns out all clout is completely lost regardless of the OTHER stacks of novels I have devoured and can unfailingly comprehend. One day... I'll get to her. Promise.

10.   Liked Cheesecake. I don’t like it. And not only because it makes my intolerant tummy hurt, but because I don’t think it’s good. Wha?!?!

11. Gotten the flu since... uh... winter... 2004. (I threw that one in there to make you all jealous of my super human immune system. Yes... even to the point of tempting karma and speaking such things out loud. I ain't scared!)

12. Tweeted. I don't get it.

13. Uttered the "eff" word. Terrible word!

So, what have you never done or experienced that make people act like you’ve just crashed your offensive spaceship into a pool full of their personal hopes and dreams and then had the audacity to ask them, “Do you know what a “Facebook” is?”

I've met a few people who have ignited such shocking response from yours truly by uttering "I never have..." [insert something ridiculously common and obviously experienced by all other human beings if they care to continue being called human beings].

Example:
1. I've never seen Star Wars...

... to which I respond, "Are you even American? Away with you!" 

Losers.

Consumption

The inordinate amount of consumption of the below must end.

So let it be written...

So let it be done.

An ode to Spring... or Blondes have more fun... or... Bored with ma'self

I'm no stranger to trying various colors and cuts upon my ample amounts of thick dishwater hair. I've gone short, super short, grown it a bit, cut bangs and grown out bangs; gone dark, super dark, red, strawberry, and caramel. I like getting my hair done-did and feel that it's something that "I can always grow out... or always dye back" which thought process has been responsible for most of my courage to chop, dye, and grow. It's just hair, after all.

However, over the last couple years I've been trying to you know... do something "different." This started with a massive chopping last summer which was heralded as an excellent choice, almost visionary, by those who beheld my Emma Watson-esque look... ish.

I was alright with the super short and felt I could carry it off just dandy. Not to mention it was ridiculously easy to do in t minus 6 minutes from wet to out the door. To maintain the "shortness" of it though - that was a bitch. However, for that same year or so I've been growing more and more jealous of long tresses. Being a wee person of 5'1, I would likely never let my hair grow much longer than my shoulders simply because I think it would overwhelm me. I'd look very cousin IT. And not necessarily because of the length, but because I literally have mass amounts of thick hair. That isn't a complaint, as I am aware of any woman out there reading this and "harumphing" because her hair is average to thin "You're lucky" she scoffs with indignation, "I have thin horrible hair!" Well the grass is always greener and second, I am aware that thick hair is desirable - but that doesn't make it convenient, manageable, or cheap to maintain. Never the less, I am happy I have thick hair... even in it poofiest most unruly state.

THAT said. I made some "growing my hair out" goals you were made privy to in January. It was one attempt to produce a resolution that could be easily obtained... or at least... not failed by default. I'd have to actively fail to grow out my hair. It was a goal that required me to do nothing... which come to find... has been a little harder than you'd imagine considering the various stages of poof and mullet one must slough through to obtain such a goal. A pair of scissors is mighty tempting on a particularly mullety day. Alas.

All that said....

In conjunction with my long hair goals; I suddenly felt being blonde was the next natural step. Everyone who says "oh... you're a short, dark haired girl..." only furthered my resolve to declare "Says WHO! Maybe I'm a long hair blonde girl! Huh!??"  HUH!

So I found me a picture...

and started the journey (taken with my phone... in the dark... so... sorry).

I also tend to lighten my hair for the Springs and Summers so the timing felt natural (bad dum chi!)... almost... meant to be. I'll let you know if blondes have more fun. I will say, perhaps I never would've participated in a political rally against the ban of sex-education in schools had I been a more contained and pragmatic brunette. I guess I'll never know...

To the right... yeah... via the Des News

Looking a codfish here: http://www.sltrib.com/sltrib/news/53720103-78/rally-utah-bill-education.html.csp

How to have a Day of Excellence

A couple of weeks ago, my roomie and I decided to create a day encompassing everything we felt necessary in making a day excellent. It seems there’s this notion floating out there, likely released to the world through the media via chick flicks, chick books, and anything doing with chicks, that if a woman wants to make a day truly excellent, it requires  a stack of goopy and clichéd films, buckets of ice cream, and fuzzy pink slippers. Ironic side note; 98% of media execs from all major networks are men. Just sayin… that’s where this “chicks do this” culture comes from. Uh-huh.

Based on this notion, I’ve found myself suggesting to other chicks, “hey… lets put on pink slippers, plunk ourselves in front of the TV, and scarf buckets of Ben and Jerry’s all day! Doesn’t that sound great?!?”

Well actually, no it doesn’t. It never really has. Why have I let this cultural notion of "chick days" destroy my ability to truly have a day of excellence filled with all of those things that make me feel good? Being fat and lazy - does not make me feel good. That is not a good day to me! The days I find most excellent have a few elements that don’t have anything to do with Mr. Ben and certainly not Jerry. The days I find most excellent are usually productive, involve some sort of work out so I can feel good about myself, good food (thus the workout), and good company. But then again I’ve never been a very true to form representation of anything culturally “chick” (as opposed to chique – which clearly ;)) so I may have lost some of you at “it doesn’t include Ben and Jerry.”

For those of you still left, I’d like to present to you a day of excellence contrived and planned (because any excellent day must have a plan) by the roomie and I.

Observe.

THE DAY OF EXCELLENCE

Presented in 6 phases

Phase #1: Rise and Shine

6:00am. We were awake and beginning my first round of BikramYoga. This goes against “chick” culture because with any day of luxury and excellence, it’s assumed you’ll want to sleep in until all hours of the noon-day. Not us. Though there are mornings where my feet feel ensconced in cement shoes, I actually really enjoy mornings. Therefore, to begin the day early was a perfect star to this day of excellence. HENCE - 6am Bikram Yoga follow by a good swim. (aside: have any of you done Bikram Yoga? Okay... so.... okay. I'm the least flexible person you know. I guarantee it. Your dad is more flexible than I am. Your dead great granny (dead or alive) is more flexible than I am. Also, I sweat. I don't glow like a lot of women do (or claim...psh) I full out sweat. Buckets! When I workout. So couple that with my inflexbility and you have quite the pathetic production via Bikram Yoga. Would I do it again? YES! It was GREAT! Despite the fact I looked like I'd jumped in a swimming pool in the end, I did feel a little taller. Hot dog!)

Phase #2: Food Stuffs Part A

After our invigorating morning, we proceeded to ready ourselves and then headed over to the Wild Grape for Brunch by 10:00am. Two reasons why this choice was awesome: 1) I love breakfast food all times of day and 2) I'd never been to the Wild Grape (on South Temple; between E and F street). Hurray for new things! Also, I’m already loving this day simply because I got up, did Yoga and swimming, got showered and ready, and am sitting down to Brunch and it’s only 10:00am! Effective use of time just makes me all giggles inside. I had the Grape's Benedict (placed upon sweet sweet porous fluffed corn bread) and roomie had the Black Forest Omelet. Couple that with some peppermint tea and you have two very fat and happy ladies. Wait! Not fat! We worked OUT! Back pat for me... back pat for roomie.

Phase #3:  The Chickiest Part of our Day - Mani's and Pedi's

Next on our day of excellence was, of course, manicures and pedicures at Mid-City Salon. And if there’s one thing better than mani’s and pedi’s, it’s having a Groupon for said services.  You best believe there was bubble gum pink and sparkly purple involved in this particular venture. I guess we are truly chicks at heart. 

Phase #4:  Matinee

There’s not anything I enjoy more than a matinee. I have always enjoyed going to the movies, but a matinee is something particularly magical. It’s cheaper and it’s in the middle of the day. I feel the matinee symbolizes true balance in life. If you can take time out of the middle of your day once in awhile and just sit for two hours, working through a Junior sized bag of popcorn and soda, and be entertained, I consider your life a success.  Yep. That’s all it takes.  And might I emphasis the JUNIOR size bags of popcorn. America is obese and I for one, blame our exorbitant portion sizes (and individual choice but that's another blog post for another day... a rant type of day). In fact, I find the term “portion size” a bit of an oxymoron in the US of A because the troughs people snarf through morning noon and night is anything but portioned. This goes for the tubs of popcorn and vats of soda sold for 50 gold dabloons and your daughters virginity at movie theaters. However, the Junior size of soda and popcorn, likely meant for toothless babes with a bright futures as a 9 year olds with Type 2 diabetes, suits me perfectly. I’d go so far as to say… it’s portioned. Wha?!?!?

Matinee… we saw Chronicle and I don’t know if it was because I hadn’t heard much about the film or because I had no expectations OR because I had mentally prepared myself for some painful endeavor like The Vow, or all of the above, but I really enjoyed it and highly recommend it. Go to.

Phase #5:  House Cleaning and Food Stuffs Part B

After the matinees, roomie and I went home and cleaned our house in preparation for a ladies dinner we were preparing for that night. Going out to eat is probably one of my favorite things to do; and it’s not just about the food. It’s enjoying the company of friends among other people who are also enjoying the company of friends over great food and conversation. But as much as I like going out, I like cooking dinner for company even more. And I say company because that’s what old(er) people call it when other people are coming, “we’ve got company coming”, and thus I’d like to keep the term alive. Honey, get dressed, we have company coming. Dearest, please don't use the term "douschery" in front of our company. 

When our ladies arrived for our ladies dinner for ladies (in the non-ladies of the night sense… erp), we had displayed for them a food setting of epic proportions!

• Appetizer: the Greatest Caesar Salad Ever Made (roomies title, not mine) and Caprese Salad
• Sides: Gourmandise rolls... mmmm... Gourmandise rolls
• Main Dish: Sun-dried tomato angel hair pasta with white wine marinera and goat cheese (you heard me!) Via Giada De Laurentiis recipe found here.
• Dessert: Gourmandise Tiramasu cake slice, the Peach, and a Fresh Raspberry Cream cake slice
• For Drinks: Sparkling Cider in legit wine glasses for some, and a Pinot Grigio white wine for others  

Let’s just say, we don’t do things half-assed.  Ever.

Phase #6: The Cool Down

After stuffing ourselves silly, we proceeded to pour more beverage, light a fire in the fireplace (where else?), and watch one of my all time favorite chick flicks, all be it favorite movies ever: Return to Me.  What better way to end such an excellent day of excellence, nay, indulgence and frivolity! than with 110 minutes of David Duchovny. I ask you!

That night, tucking ourselves in at a reasonable 11:00pm, roomie and I congratulated ourselves on a day well planned and well executed. In fact, we vowed that we should plan such a day at least once a month simply because we enjoyed ourselves so thoroughly in every way. This day, for me, was a recipe for success from start to finish. We did everything in a day that I find not only relaxing and enjoyable, but also productive and efficient. Two things I highly value in my excellent days.

How about you? What does your day of excellent look like? And if you say pink slippers, a stack of chick flicks, and Ben and Jerry’s, I won’t judge you. Truly. 

Fly me to the moon, Newt

If there's one thing a crazy person is good for - it's inspirational cut and paste artwork. Am I right?

“Speaking to a yet another massive crowd in Cocoa Beach, on Florida’s space coast, Gingrich ditched his stump speech and offered his vision of an ambitious new space program. ”By the end of my second term,” Gingrich said, prompting the crowd to erupt in applause, “we will have the first permanent base on the moon and it will be American.”

When he was in the House, he authored a bill that would allow a lunar colony to apply for statehood once it reached 13,000 residents.

I met a gentleman in the audience who told me he had worked on Gingrich’s Congressional staff and helped with the bill, which was called a Northwest Territory Ordinance for Space.  The man told me the bill would have allowed space colonies with over 20,000 people to apply for recognition as a US territory.”

VIA

I think the scariest part of this whole thing is he may actually have a chance. Really? THIS is who we see leading the free world? A vote for Obama (or Romney, or Paul, or Santorum) is a vote AGAINST moon colonies. So think through that... think through it very carefully.

Why I don't blog like a regular blogger

So come to find, I don't blog like a regular blogger. What does that even MEAN?!?! Well, I guess it means I'm either a non-conformist or completely out of touch. I'm going with the latter on that one seeing as I'm usually the last to know anything (see: not knowing Amy Winehouse had died until a few months ago or figuring out that DIY means Do It Yourself, like, a month ago) or last to jump on already brimmingly full cultural bandwagons (see: any popular TV show in general, capri's (which I still refuse), and Twitter. I don't tweet. I don't understand the point of tweets. And I think it's weird when people say, "I read this tweet..." or "I tweeted" You... WHAT?!?! Ew.

I only noticed my irregular bloggery because I've finally (FINALLY) noticed a pattern with most bloggers I like to read/peruse. Or just most bloggers in general I suppose. I've noted before, I only follow 4 or 5 blogs fairly consistently and mostly, it's because I can endure their writing. Nay, it's because I actually ENJOY their writing. And who follows blogs because of the WRITING?? I'm going with slim to no one considering everyone thinks they're a writer and only about 5.25% actually include words in their blog entries. And abut 4.653% of THOSE can construct a meaningful paragraph... that even KNOW how to "paragraph." Yes, I just made "parapgraph" a verb; "She paragraphed as if each thought she had was transitory yet related..." If I were merely enduring what I was reading, then you can be certain I would've stopped that ridiculousness ages ago - though I'm sure still well behind everyone else who stopped enduring dangling participles and blatant neglect of the Oxford comma. I won't give it up I tell you! The flag is red, white, and blue! Not red.... .... .... whiteandblue! Shudder.

There's also the blogs I like to look at because I am inspired by their creativity (cough, Roxy Marj, cough). In fact, I will go so far as to say "dangle your participle!" because your modge-podge would have even Monet shopping for sponges. You modge podge with sponges right? These things:

Anyway...

Here are some patterns of bloggery I've noticed are fairly consistent (i.e. "regular) with most high profile-type blogs that I rarely if ever do on my own blog. Why? Most of it has to do with pure unadulterated laziness. Oh, and the narcissistic concept that all you need is my writing to enjoy my blog. Ha ha ha! Riiiiiight.

1. DIY projects (that's Do It Yourself... to the slow person). I don't think I've ever been described as "crafty." Creative perhaps. I can plan one hell of a themed party! But crafty? I've recently dipped my proverbial toe into craft-land and find I very much enjoy it. Never the less - there's no bloggery about it. It just seems to produce a useful "How-to" list complete with pictures and steps seems like doubling the work of an already painstaking craft. I MADE a Halloween banner. What more do you WANT?!? Figure it our your damn self, Sherlock. 

2. Trips. Alright -I HAVE blogged about trips and I enjoy writing about them. But they have to be rather significant trips... or really trips at all. I find a lot of bloggers discuss their recent jaunt to Trader Joe's (not in Utah, so how can I even blog about that? Huh! How?!?), or their weekend sabbatical in "insert location 20 minute away from their home town" and though I like reading about these things, I don't blog about them often. Maybe I should, "Today, I while buying Tostitos as Smith's, I saw a frozen coyote in a shopping cart." 

Aside: so that's an actual story that happened to my brother at the Price, Wal-Mart. I mean, of COURSE it happened at a Price, Wal-Mart. Maybe if I start blogging about interesting things I will tell you that story. But it is not this day.

3. Products. I don't mention products or make-ups or tasty things I've eaten and so must YOU or things I've recently tried and regretted. I probably should. I mean, for the 2 or 3 people who glance over my blog, at least they'd get an opinion about a product they've been considering from someone who has no clout. And I do want to help people! It's the philanthropist in me. Here's a start:

I like the scoops myself as it allows you to balance your salsa to chip ratio much more effectively. I'm also a pico-de-gallo fan more so than your basic salsas. I like the chunks without the runs. There's clearly a 12 year old boy joke in there somewhere. Poop allusions are funny. 

4. Pictures. And that's basically what it all boils down to. Pictures. People like to see them; and I don't ever take them. So I guess I mean "real life" pictures. That's because you can't google those, "Me eating Tostitos scoops" and get what you expected. You can, however, google "Daniel Craig is sexy" and have a myriad of options right at your finger tips. Mmmm... Daniel Craig at your fingertips. Sure, you'll get a blurry phone photo of Zooey or little Carter now and again I guess. That's as real life as I get. I think if I added real life pictures to whatever nonsense I attempt to describe, it might help me look more bloggery. But then again, I am an Ar-teest! And my art is in my writing. Why would I muddle such beauty with something as silly as pictures? I ASK YOU!

5. I also don't have kids. That's the old fail safe blog post isn't it? I've not blogged in awhile, so here, look at these 93 still shots of my kid smearing carrot puree all over his face. Riveting. That creates a nice irregular bloggery hole in my blog world I'd say. One I hope to never fill. Not because I don't want kids, cause I do, but because carrot puree makes me gag. 

6. Cooking. Do I cook? Yeah, sure I do. In fact, I've been subsisting on a vat of homemade chicken noodle soup for a solid week now. HOMEMADE! CHICKEN NOODLE! I also bake. I'd say I bake a lot. Over that same chicken noodle week I've been ceremoniously supplementing said meal with a delicious chocolate crunch brownie. But just like the crafts, I don't care to document the experience in painstaking technical writing complete with attempts at "arty-food" pictures. 

BRIGHT IDEA ALERT! AKA RIDICULOUS TANGENT!

Perhaps I could blog about the brownie making process as if the brownie were an actual character in a story. Example: 

As Hershey Cocoa rested comfortably divided evenly among 3 Tablespoons, awaiting her turn in the rotating bowl of doom that was at this moment creaming together 2 sticks of butter, 2 cups of sugar, and 1 teaspoon vanilla, she glanced over at the oven temperature and noted it read 350 degrees respectively. She usually tried not to do this as it was like looking into the furnace of her own death - but this time - she looked - along with the 1 cup flour and 4 eggs waiting in line with her. The flour glanced at her with resignation and the eggs, well, the eggs just grinned and clucked among themselves. Eggs. They were always so smug what with their white shells and gooey centers. They never even see the inevitable coming. No, they just fluff and preen and coagulate the rest of us together - patting themselves on the back for creating a sense of "community" among the other ingredients. It's not until we're all spread evenly in a greased 9x10 glass cake pan and starting to feel the sting of 25-30 minutes or until the center isn't gooey, do they start to panic.  

What do you think?... Eh?.... EH?!??!.... erp.

So that's what I DON'T blog about that makes me a not so regular blogger. What I DO blog about is contained basically to a few random trips, commentary on social issues, Zooey and/or Carter, self-reflection, life lessons, and random things I find funny, inspirational, or addicting (see: Downton Abbey... X-Files... Tostitos Multigrain Scoops). I also enjoy a good lament or rant once in awhile. 

I'm glad I figured this out - that I am not a "regular" kind of blogger. Why? Shrug. So I could irregularly blog about it. Oh snap. Did I mention I like to blog in "sass" and "irony." Yep, just made those writing genres. What of it.

How I spent my 3 day weekend...

After many a very smart and insightful person recommend I "get into" Downton Abbey, I finally dusted off the old Netflix queue and sat down to watch and episode or two. Well, as you might imagine, today I rounded out the season premier of Season 2 and thus, will be caught up after viewing episode 2 tonight or tomorrow. A well spent weekend I'd say!

And really...

Why is this show so completely excellent? Is it because it's a Jane Austen novel strung out into a television series? Yes. There could be something to that. Though you are privy to my deepest darkest English majoring secret, aren't you? I've not read one sentence of the famed Ms. Austen and it has nothing to do with anything but I just plain haven't. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. What's more, I really enjoy the book-to-movie adaptations of her works, particularly (and very well ahead of - gasp gasp - the excruciating 6-8 zillion hour BBC Pride and Prejudice) Sense and Sensibility. So even though it seems that I somewhat fall short in the Austen-reading and even more shamefully, employ the phrase "why read it when I've seen the movie a million times" when asked if I'm ever GOING to read an Austen, I AM watching and adoring and slightly obsessing over Downton Abbey. And that means SOMETHING doesn't it? Sure it does.

Something to blow your mind - #1

James Franco was in Never Been Kissed. Rufalicious!!

MIND BLOW!!

Running on the Road to Resolution Success!

So!

It's Day 1 (remember how yesterday didn't count as "work-on-resolutions-day" because it was a Holiday) of working on my resolutions and I've made a very big step in the process. I don't like to waste time. When I set a goal - by golly I'm going to accomplish it! Why, just last year after setting my "gum chewing" goal I immediately committed to never leaving the grocery store without a pack of Orbtiz Sweet Mint gum lovingly purchased and deposited into my purse. And I never did... mostly... and look where I am now! Setting and accomplishing worthy goals left and right... and with the sweet minty freshness that is my chewing gum addiction.

Therefore, I'd like to report a few steps I've taken MERELY in the last day to ensure that my success is as resounding as last year.

First, I bought prenatal vitamins and have taken two already! TWO! How's that for accomplishing goals!! Wait, what does this have to do with my 2012 resolution list where the words "baby" or "marriage" or "dating" makes not even a sliver of an assumption of an appearance? Well duh. Growing my hair like Zooey Deschanel of course. Snort. All you sexually active people think YOU get to take all the good pills like birth control or prenatal vitamins? Get off your high horse. We prudish single types can take them too.

I have high hopes. My roomie J told me that she had been taking them and had noticed a difference in hair growth and texture. THEN, while hanging out with Sister-in-Law on Saturday, SHE said that she'd noticed her nails and hair growing faster as well. Granted, she just had a wee one (what's that? Do I have another PICTURE? OF COURSE I DO!)...

....and she said that though she had cut 6 inches off her (thick, gorgeous, shiny, dark) hair not a few months ago, it had already almost grown out to its original length. With such testimonials, how could I NOT go to my local Target and by the store brand prenatal vitamins for $9.49 / 100 count bottle? I had to.

And now I have visions of my hair looking much like the below come Spring.

For reference. Here is my hair more or less how it is now. It's a little longer now actually but you get the idea. Thus, when it looks like Ms. DesChanels, my accomplishment will seem all the more worthy of praise. Praise not in the Nobel Prize sense maybe... but in the "that must've been really annoying to grow out" sense. Even as we speak I'm getting all mulletty. Ew. All for the cause.

Recap... Resolute... Same old same old

I can't help myself. It's the beginning of a New Year and I must make some resolutions! I usually find New Years resolutions antiquated and to be frank, pointless. Bah-humbug! It's not that I don't think setting goals isn't a valuable exercise; on the contrary. I think setting goals for yourself and then working to achieve them is a very good way to improve your life, and improve your self-esteem. I think setting goals is also an excellent way to organize and utilize "life" in its best, most efficient, and most effective form. I've just taken the magic out of accomplishment haven't I? Well I'm a rather formulaic sort of person and if you haven't learned that by now, you're not very observant! Are you? ARE YOU!?!?! YOU MORON!


Woah... just kidding. 


Anyway...


Goals good. New Years resolutions... antiquated and pointless. But never the less, here I am with the rest of you billions of suckers who have justified the past 6 months of laziness, gluttony, bad attitudes, and expired gym memberships because you might as well not start anything new, self-motivating, or good-for-you until January 1st. It's the reason we all gain 20lbs starting weeks before Halloween all the way through December 31st (Or January 1st if it lands on a weekend - am I right? You know I am) because you're so totally planning on starting that ambitious work-out regime as part of your New Years resolutions; conveniently forgetting last years same justifications which prompted the same goal-mongering only to have everything fall to shambles by mid-February. D'oh well... no point in trying again until after the holidays anyway! YOU MORON!


Woah... just kidding.


Amongst my bitter mumblings about pointless traditions, I also took the time to look back on last years resolution to see what goals I had forgotten mid-February 2011 and which ones were worth resurrecting this year for inevitable failure. But what ho? What did I find? Well my friends! I was shocked to discover that in fact, I am a picture of resolution success circa 2011! Turns out, I accomplished 99% of the resolutions I set last year! ME! I did it!!! Check it out, morons!

Resolutions from 2011 - Mostly Success!

1. Graduate - Summer 2011. You will then refer to me as Master Cox. 
Result: Success! I graduated end of summer 2011 and spent several posts thereafter referring to myself as Master Cox. Well done! Pat on the back!As an aside, I thus entered a "Lazy Period" where I refused to do most anything nor feel guilty about my slothfulness as a reward for milking my brains dry for two whole years. Needless to say, I've never been so lazy and felt so good about it. However, I can tell the "Lazy Period" is coming to a close and I'm going to have to start making something of myself soon. Boo.

2. Travel - anything that takes me outside the state of Utah... or inside the state really so's long as I haven't been there before...
Result: Success again!! In 2011 I had the privilege of going to Charleston, South Carolina as well as Portland, Canon Beach, and Astoria Oregon, and Forks, Port Angeles, and Seattle Washington. I also ate at a Texas Roadhouse! All places I'd never been before! That's two gold stars so far!

3. Eat less, exercise more. 
Result: A little from column A... and a little from column B. In fact, I'd say that I did the opposite of that until I graduated from school. August through present day, however, I have been instilling this goal into my daily routine a great deal more... well... the exercise part. The eating less part was only true because I substituted SOME cookies, brownies, cakes, and all assortments of holiday goodies for A LOT of sensible good-for-me foods. Still, half a star for both attempting to exercise while in the throes of school and then a prompt upswing in said exercise when it was over. I guess the Lazy Period was mainly brain lazy. We shan't speak of the cookies.

4. Make more money - legally
Result: Fail. I made more money but it was illegal. Oh ho ho! Just kidding. I make the same. Good thing I got a Master's degree, eh? Fist shake.

5. Turn 28 
Result: Success! Did and done did! Ha! Nothing was going to keep me from accomplishing that little goal.... even if I wanted to fail! Blasted biological certainties and their inevitability. 

6. Alright... run a half marathon. Let's give it another go. Why not?
Result: Fail. Blame = School + Lazy Period. 

7. Go to movies sometimes
Result: Success! In fact, Internet, I've seen three movies within the last... 10 days! How's the for spanking that goals blue! We're painting the roses red! We're painting the roses red! No? Ahem... proceeding.

8. Wear skirts
Result: Resounding success! Weekly... nay... almost daily. I'm a skirt girl. I set myself up for success and succeed. Double gold star and a chocolate chip cookie!

9. Chew gum
Result: Success! Check and check. Through this goal I have found my preference for Orbits Sweet Mint. Accomplishing goals opens up doors you never thought possible. 

10. Go on one date in 2011..
Result: Success! In fact, I'd say I went on a grundle (word?) of dates in 2011. See what you can accomplish if you put your mind to it? I might have even gone on TWO dates with ONE person. Shooting for the stars everyone. 


So how's THAT for being a super goal-achieving achiever of goals? Pretty stinking GOOD! In fact, I'm feeling so accomplished right now, perhaps I'll just set a bunch more goals! I will call them "Resolutions 2012!" How about that?!?! MORONS!!!!

Resolutions 2012

1. Come-up with more creative titles for my lists


2. Stop calling my Internet friend(s) morons.


3. Run that *&!%$!! half marathon or stop setting it as a goal


4. Grow my hair out to my shoulders but keep the bangs... something rather Zooey DeChanel-esque 


5. Set better goals for self-improvement than "growing my hair out"


6. Travel to a few more places I've never been. I'm loathe to name specific places as I don't like to limit my myself - but I'm going to go against my better judgement and throw Washington DC out to the universe. 


7. Work on that novel. And I mean really work on that novel. Set a writing schedule, find your happy writing place, and just do the thing!


8. Make the Summer of 2012 the most campingest, outdoorsy, non-schooled summer I've ever experienced! I'm talking perma-camp fire hair smell, ridiculously sun bespeckled cheeks, and pic after pic of me in a rustic all be it super cute hiking outfit infront of many mountains, forests, streams, canyons, and critters! (Future disclaimer: Zooey counts as a critter) 


9. Now that I've slain the Diet Coke dragon (applause! It's true... the Diet Coke and I... well... I finally broke it off for good several months ago. No regrets!), lets see if we can't nip the old Sugar Fairy in the bud too. Reduce. Reduce. Reduce.


10. End Lazy Period and do stuff


11. Come on, get happy. By happy I mean content. By content I mean grateful. And by grateful I mean humble. 


So what do you think? Pretty good list, eh? And perhaps a titch more ambitious than last year (see: Chew gum and Wear Skirts). But I'm positive I will likely succeed at most (see: half marathon doomed for failure) of these goals during the wonderous year - 2012. So just in case you were a big fat resolution failure for 2011 and were considering opting out of resoluting for 2012 like I almost did, don't be a MORON* and set a few anyway. I did.  And as some advice, DO as I did and aim low so there's really no way you can screw up. 


*As January 2nd is clearly considered part of the holiday-time and thus merely 2011 "leavins"; real life doesn't start until tomorrow and THEN will all afore mentioned goals be promptly instituted. And off we go.