Matchmaker, Matchmaker, Make Me a Match…

Remember the outfit for the “event-that-must-not-be-named” I alluded to in my last post? WELL! First, and most importantly, the outfit has been chosen and I am quite pleased. I thank you for all of your opinions via bloggery, face-bookery, and textery. It’s been most helpful and naturally, the reason why I choose fashionistas to be a part of my circle of friends. You have served your purpose well.  Pics to be posted once I actually don the finished product later today. I know you're, like, soooo interested.

Second, I’m sure you’d like to know what the “event-that-must-not-be-named” actually is. You should know that typing that phrase with dashes is rather tedious and next, I am going to make this as annoying as possible by beginning at the beginning before I just tell you what the event is already! Hurray! I also hesitated mentioning this at all because I wasn't sure if I "could." But it's not been alluded to otherwise so meh, why not. 

I was born at 11:03pm on October 12th, 1983 to Cheryl and Bru...oh wait... not that beginning. 

Several months ago, a good friend whom we shall call Holly because that is, in fact, her name, sent me a little clipping (e-clipping? Erp) from the Salt Lake Tribune with the subheading “Coming soon to a TV near you: aMormon Matchmaker reality show” exclaiming I would be her hero if I attempted to be part of these shenanigans. After a moment’s deliberation, I figured becoming someone’s hero by merely submitting answers to a few questions for a reality show I didn’t know anything about was well worth it! Hero-hood here I come! So submit I did and have since enjoyed 3 months of being a hero. It's a good feeling. If you ever have the chance to "earn" titles you don't deserve by doing things that require little effort and no foreseeable consequences or sacrifice, I suggest you do it. 

 The submission only required answering three questions “in brief” which included “Give a brief dating history” and “describe your perfect mate in 3-5 sentences.” Naturally, me being me and thinking I’m clever and funny, answered these questions in such a way that would convey such effortless cleverness.

Example

Described your perfect mate in 3-5 sentences: For the perfect man, combine the following: Indiana Jones, Maximus (Gladiator), and Atticus Finch with a dash of Agent Mulder; make him Mormon and you’ve created my perfect mate. An academic but can flick a whip (don’t get weird – it just means he’s manly you kinky bunch!), loyal, humble, and a fighter; scrupulous, a good father, hard worker, and patient; and finally, passionate and focused... and tallish. Mm hmm. 

 Eh? Eh? Well it’s my perfect not your perfect mate so back yo'self on up. And truly – I don’t think I’ve ever really thought about “my perfect mate.” Perhaps that has something to do with creating unrealistic expectations... OR the fear of gross disappointment. If you always have “perfect” in the back of your naturally flawed mortal brain, you’re setting yourself up for some monster disappointments and life long dissatisfaction. Turns out, people aren’t perfect. However, I don’t think you should settle either.  Strike a balance. Must haves… would be nice… and deal-breakers.  As I’ve gotten older, those things I like in a potential "mate" have changed… so perfect in a mortal mind is fluid as well. Thus making it even more unrealistic to try and nail down. 

I digress.

I submitted my answers and continued with my day to day living.

About a week later, I received a phone call from the casting agency for the Mormon Matchmaker reality show wanting to set up a Skype interview. With me! I must say I was surprised and most definitely curious. Mostly I wondered how slim the pickins really were to select the “Indiana Jones” girl. Am I right? We set up a Skype interview for a week hence and when the day came, I chatted with one of their folks for probably about 45 minutes. Most of the questions they asked were elaboration on the previous three I’d already submitted with some additions like “Would you ever date a divorced someone” (yes of course) or, “how important is religion in your dating” (gonna go ahead and say that is the #1 won’t compromise sort of thing... acknowledging that fate could have other plans but that’s my plan now). He also asked things like “I’m not Mormon, tell me why you want to marry another Mormon” which I responded by basically bearing testimony of temple marriage and eternal families and how that’s the only option for happiness for me because that’s how I want to live, raise my children, and share in that journey with the most important person in the world for me (Gee... tell me how your really feel). Needless to say, I was beginning to realize that if this was something I had the opportunity to participate in, I would be representing  an entire group of people and anything I did or did not do would be attached to 14 million other Latter-Day Saints. Too bad Glen Beck has never made this connection. Juuuuuust kidding… ish. And of course, I don’t think that little old me on a reality show I don’t even know I’m on yet would affect someone’s perspective of Mormons; particularly considering brighter spotlights shone on more substantial figures like Mr. Romney. But it might affect SOMEONE’s perception and that makes me a little nervous. Rep-re-sent! I should stop intermittently swearing... dammit. 

After the Skype interview ended, I was thanked and told I may or may not hear from them in 1-4 weeks. Show-biz. Always on their timetable.  Thus, day to day living resumed much as it always had; with no expectation either way.

As luck would have it though – I received an email request for an in person interview right here in downtown SLC. Naturally, SLC also happens to be the location for filming said show so let’s not pretend that my current living arrangements in SLC don’t make me an appealing candidate. I mean I’m RIGHT here.

That in-person interview is today.

Thus you see the need to pick an outfit that is representative of MOI.

Expectations?

Once again, not really. Ha! Which is probably what’s gotten me to this point in the first place. I will say, however, I’m very curious. All I know is this is a reality show featuring Mormons and a matchmaker’s attempt to help us find eternal love. Sounds about right as Reality TV goes, but as for logistics; i.e. will it be one girl set up with many guys or one guy and many girls (Bachelor flash! NO!)  or many girls and many guys? Shrug. Dunno. I’ve been promised these logistics will all be discussed today.  I am naturally a little weary of the whole thing as well. Particularly when I think of disasters (addictive disasters I admit it) like the Bachelor and the… er.. “type” of girl they clearly choose for such entertainment. It is, after all, still about entertainment! I’m just not that girl. Perhaps I’m the Ace in the hole! The quirky one who everyone feels kind of bad for but hopes upon hope that she’ll find a nerd just like her in the end!  Or perhaps they’ll make me the goody two shoes that everyone “aw… how sweet's (pat pat head head)” at her blatant naivety to things of the world. I also wonder if such a venue is somewhere I actually want to find someone to marry. If there’s one thing you can count on – it’s not to count on everyone being themselves in front of a camera. I’ll sure try my damnedest...er... darnedest, but if any research has told us anything about social experiences and attempting to make unbiased observations of groups of people’s mating rituals, it’s that you can never be sure if what you are getting is authentic or always tainted but the subjects knowledge of being under constant observation. "Act natural..." er... the first way to make me not act natural is to tell me to act natural. No one actively thinks about acting natural.... when they do it comes off as unnatural. Oh irony! I already know I’m going to be more aware of ME when it comes to representing my faith on a greater medium than my day to day interactions; so who knows how authentic I'll be. Or maybe this is a way to get me to step up a little bit more and represent a little bit better. To become the me I should be becoming anyway. 

I also think to much. So there's that.

All I DO know is that I have a really great outfit that represents my style and a Star Trek Encyclopedia and/or the complete 7 seasons of Star Trek the Next Generation on DVD (thanks, Jon and Pete!) as my prop(s) of choice. Already this is looking like a win-win scenario. Right?!?! Wish me luck!

The Lazy Period is at an End

When I finished my MA degree in August, I vowed that the first thing I would do was nothing. And I am happy to say – that’s exactly what I’ve been doing ever since. Now don’t get me wrong. I still went to work, worked out sometimes, ate food, and slept. I also watched Season’s 1-7 of the X-Files (seasons 8-9 are crap), read a few books, meandered around the house, went to some movies, and enjoyed the holidays. Anytime I started to feel like I should do something more; develop a talent or find a hobby, the little withered school imp in the back of my head would rasp “noooo…. Laaaaazy period…. Stiiillll… more Mulder…” It honestly didn’t take much coaxing to extend my lazy period through the end of the year.

But the end of the year has come and gone and it’s time I started being useful again. Don’t worry; it’s not like I’m begrudgingly dragging my sorry arse off the couch to finally accomplish something like laundry or organizing my shoes. It’s because I’ve rested the good rest and now want to contribute in a more meaningful way to life. It’s important to contribute. I think a lot of things can count as “contributing” so long as it doesn’t involve long periods of inactivity, slumping, and starting season 1-7 of the X-Files over again. Which I’m not. Just so you know. I'm a Downton Abbey girl now! Oh snap.

I also noticed throughout my lazy period that I finally had the ability and brain capacity to consider doing things, and even some stuff. During the undergrad, I was poor and busy. Between undergrad and grad school, I was poor and drifting. During grad school I wasn’t AS poor but way more busy. What I’m saying is, the brain power and emotional contributions of expanding outside the realm of papers and bills was all I’ve been ensconced with for the past 10 years of my life. Dash some personal distractions and barriers in there and focusing on anything else but keeping my head above water seemed ludicrous. It’s Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. You can’t focus on the next level until you’ve achieved the one below it. Picture!

I’d say in those ten years I had vacillated between safety needs and social needs... heck... sometimes between physiological needs (I was a squatter there for awhile) and safety needs. I’d like now to move on and vacillate between social needs and esteem. Not that I have low self-esteem. I think I’m hilarious and consistently  adequate to awesome. I think that’s intended to be more broadly termed; say, self improvement and progression rather than “I like myself”. Being confident in your ability to press forward and to accomplish worthy goals is more to the point in my mind. Eh? EH?!

Better Picture!!

SO!! All of those darker, busier, emtionalier (erp) things behind me… regular adult job securely in hand… I am ready to end the lazy period and start using my brain for things that I want to do because I want to do them. I’m ready for the next level!

Here’s how it’s to be done. Now listen, these are baby steps. Much like my resolutions were on lack luster side of ambitious, I must ease into this new level on my way to self-actualization if I am to not feel overwhelmed and drop into one of those lower levels again. What I’m saying is, I never over-achieve, rather, regularly achieve. I’m okay with this.

Everyone has the “thing” that they do. Ya know? There are the crafty ones, the creative ones, the cooking ones, the jump roping ones, etc.  I tried to think of the activities that I truly enjoy and would like to become better at and the most obvious one was physical health. I like to eat well, work out, and enjoy playing sports and sweating. Therefore, as part one to the end of the Lazy Period I am not only going to continue my workout regime – but increase upon it towards a goal. What is that goal?

Half Marathon.

No really. REALLY! I have the time, the energy, and the mental capacity to wrap my head around a half marathon so I’m going to do it. I’ve considered the Salt Lake Half and I know that’s probably something that needs to be decided on sooner rather than later. Here’s my issue with the Salt Lake Half. It’s in April. Which is soon. And not that I don’t have time to train, because I do, but I LOATHE running in the inversion and the cold. LOATHE it I tell you! However, in training for the SLC half running outside in the cold and yuck is inevitable. So there’s that. THUS, I’m looking for a half that’s later in the summer. I’ve considered the Timpanogos Half as it’s in July. I've also heard good things about Bryce Canyon Half.  I need to do more research, but if any of you runners out there know of a good half for a beginning half-marathoner that falls between June-October… holla at yer gurl. Haaaay.

I’d also like to attempt a sprint Triathlon.

My roommate also happens to be Wonder Woman (right?) and does Triathlons. Well, there’s a Triathlon being held in ye olde Emery County (my origins) and I’d like to give it a whirl. I can run. I can bike. I…. need to work on the swim. I know how to swim… I just don’t know how to breath properly nor have I ever done swimming for exercise/set distances. SO! Luckily having Wonder Woman as my roomie, I’ve coerced her into teaching me how to swim properly. Then! THEN! I shall sign up for the San Rafael sprint Triathlon! Go me! GO!

Next, I have decided not to eat like a disgusting person anymore. Mainly, I have a capacity for cupcakes, cookies, brownies, and all things chocolate that is likely responsible for the constant layer of chub spread over my belly. No good. Therefore, not only have I set a goal to kick refined sugar to the curb, the roomie and I (Wonder Woman… still) took our jiggly arses to Costco this week and stalked up on all type of produce and deliciousness. But it does not stop there. We then proceeded to plan out our meals this entire week. Here we are at Thursday and I am VERY pleased to announce, we’ve stuck with our food plans quite well. However, as the weekend approaches with its promise of social gatherings that involve all things evil and delicious, I must screw my courage to the sticking place and press forth! It will take stamina! It will take heart! The weekend will NOT destroy MY attempts at thwarting what I’ve now dubbed the “Andrea Fatty Girl” phase. Bring. It. On!

The last bit of ending of the lazy period attempts I’d like to share with you involves crafts. Wait, WHAT?!?! We’ve already talked about this. I’ve never been one to craft and for years I figured it was because the thought of spending hours to make or modify something when I could go to the store and buy it seemed irrational and downright ridiculous. Turns out, that wasn’t it at all. It was because I didn’t have the creative energy to spare on that delicate all be it self-satisfying hobby known as crafting. Who knew it gave one such a sense of pride? Accomplishment! Nay, self-aggrandizement! WHO KNEW! All you crafters out there knew. Psh. Thanks for sharing it with the rest of us.

Thus in honor of “the craft” I present to YOU! Mittens.

First, you'll want to find an old sweater of your own and/or find one at  the DI. I found this one at the DI.
You should then outline the mitten, making it about 2 inches "bigger" than you might otherwise think. That way, if you mess up it's easy to fix; i.e. make smaller.

I recommend sewing the mittens before cutting them out. It makes the whole process easier and less risky. Sew around your outline, then cut them out. Turn them inside out and VOILA! Easy as pie. I added the buttons from the sweater onto the mittens on my own. I must say, I'm rather proud of myself.

I got the idea from A Beautiful Mess. Check 'er out.

You will also notice I’ve taken pictures of something I’ve done. What the?! Who am I? A picture taker now? Right? RIGHT?!?! Finally ending my lazy period turns out to be one of the better decisions I’ve ever made. Suddenly, I’m a crafter who wants to run Triathlons and take pictures of crap! I have a feeling, this transformation is only just the beginning. Stay. Tuned. I will be self-actualized before you know it! 

Millions of Dollars.. Dollars for Me

I keep an Excel sheet of my monthly budget. Nerd alert! I like to be organized, alright? Nothing wrong with that (as she pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose with a juicy sniff and look of disdain). And through the years, this little budget of mine has clearly fluctuated. Going from being a poor student to a poor working person has clearly ebbed and flowed in most respects. I mean, 5 years ago I was sharing a room, going to school, scoring church buildings and school activities for the chance at a free meal, driving a blubbery car that ran on a prayer, and waiting for movies to hit the dollar theater so I could finally afford to see something on the big screen. Well, times have changed… slightly. I had less expenses as a student and have more expenses now as a working adult, but all is well. The blubbery car finally blubbered out and I am now paying for a 2006 Hyundai. Nothing fancy, but very dependable and I admit, I felt very proud of myself the day I said “I can now afford a car!” My rent has gone up simply because I now have my own room in a great location in a lovely little house. I buy vegetables now – and that’s a little more expensive than your basic boxed Mac & Cheese (though don’t get me wrong, I buy that too! Nom).  I’ve been able to travel more – which makes me extremely happy. Ever since I was little I’ve wanted to see the world! All of it! And I’ve started accomplishing this rather hefty goal with modest trips here and there. Life’s trudging along for me it seems. Though I wouldn't mind it trudging a liiiiittle bit faster in the financial sphere of things. Eh? Eh. 

So yes… there’s been some transition. An elevation of lifestyle if you will. I’m really starting to ease into some of the comforts of life: like vegetables and dependable cars and trips to Charleston, SC. Of course, there are stresses and a few more bills that go along with that as well… one big old bill called STUDENT LOANS to get specific. I chant in my head “investment… investment… investment” and I’m almost starting to believe it!

Anyway...

As I was budgeting out next month I thought, what would I do with a million dollars? It’s the million dollar question! Ba dum chi! I’ll be here all day! Truth be told, what I’d do with a million dollars today is quite different (some might say boooorrrring) than perhaps what I would’ve said 5 years ago. I guess that could be a good thing too. I don’t want to be the same person I was when I was 23 just as I don’t want to be the same person I am at 28 when I turn 33. Hopefully that all connotes a forward movement. I always want to be moving forward – even if its slow and deliberate – it must be forward.

So here’s what I’d do with a million dollars as a 28 year old:

•  Pay off student loans. BAM! After that, who cares!!?!?
•  Pay off the last year of my car (that’s pay off the Hyundai, not buy a new car. I like my Hyundai!)
• Buy a modest but lovely house in the Sugarhouse area (say… $250,000-$300,000)
• Take a trip
•  Pay for a couple of friends to come with me on said trip (such a good friend!)
• Pay for my brothers college education   
• Pay for my PhD anywhere I want to go (and that will let me in... psh)
• Donate a chunk  to the perpetual education fund (double nerd alert!)
• Shop a bit (Of course!)
• Save the rest

And that’s as exciting as my million dollars gets. I guess a million dollars doesn’t seem like a lot these days, but I could pay for all of the above and STILL have a pretty decent chunk of change left over. In fact, if I crunch those numbers loosely, I’d still have a about $300,000 left. That’s pretty legit. And to think that celebrities and superstar athletes make eight times that in one year. I read the other night that Julia Roberts gets $20 million/movie. $20 a movie! Can you imagine? I don’t know if I could even begin to SPEND $20 million. But if anyone’s willing to let me try, I wouldn’t say no.

I guess what this list tells me, is I really don’t need anything fancy or extravagant. And as material prowess is concerned, I really don’t (see: Hyundai and modest house). If I could make enough each year to travel to some cool places once in awhile, buy a lovely home, and shop at Anthropology (hurray!), I’d be set! What more does a girl need than some awesome traveling experiences, a place of her own to lounge about with her cat(s), and a beautiful dress to flounce around in? I submit to you, not much!

So what about you? What would YOU do with a million dollars? Yeeeeah… just 1 million. 

Recap... Resolute... Same old same old

I can't help myself. It's the beginning of a New Year and I must make some resolutions! I usually find New Years resolutions antiquated and to be frank, pointless. Bah-humbug! It's not that I don't think setting goals isn't a valuable exercise; on the contrary. I think setting goals for yourself and then working to achieve them is a very good way to improve your life, and improve your self-esteem. I think setting goals is also an excellent way to organize and utilize "life" in its best, most efficient, and most effective form. I've just taken the magic out of accomplishment haven't I? Well I'm a rather formulaic sort of person and if you haven't learned that by now, you're not very observant! Are you? ARE YOU!?!?! YOU MORON!


Woah... just kidding. 


Anyway...


Goals good. New Years resolutions... antiquated and pointless. But never the less, here I am with the rest of you billions of suckers who have justified the past 6 months of laziness, gluttony, bad attitudes, and expired gym memberships because you might as well not start anything new, self-motivating, or good-for-you until January 1st. It's the reason we all gain 20lbs starting weeks before Halloween all the way through December 31st (Or January 1st if it lands on a weekend - am I right? You know I am) because you're so totally planning on starting that ambitious work-out regime as part of your New Years resolutions; conveniently forgetting last years same justifications which prompted the same goal-mongering only to have everything fall to shambles by mid-February. D'oh well... no point in trying again until after the holidays anyway! YOU MORON!


Woah... just kidding.


Amongst my bitter mumblings about pointless traditions, I also took the time to look back on last years resolution to see what goals I had forgotten mid-February 2011 and which ones were worth resurrecting this year for inevitable failure. But what ho? What did I find? Well my friends! I was shocked to discover that in fact, I am a picture of resolution success circa 2011! Turns out, I accomplished 99% of the resolutions I set last year! ME! I did it!!! Check it out, morons!

Resolutions from 2011 - Mostly Success!

1. Graduate - Summer 2011. You will then refer to me as Master Cox. 
Result: Success! I graduated end of summer 2011 and spent several posts thereafter referring to myself as Master Cox. Well done! Pat on the back!As an aside, I thus entered a "Lazy Period" where I refused to do most anything nor feel guilty about my slothfulness as a reward for milking my brains dry for two whole years. Needless to say, I've never been so lazy and felt so good about it. However, I can tell the "Lazy Period" is coming to a close and I'm going to have to start making something of myself soon. Boo.

2. Travel - anything that takes me outside the state of Utah... or inside the state really so's long as I haven't been there before...
Result: Success again!! In 2011 I had the privilege of going to Charleston, South Carolina as well as Portland, Canon Beach, and Astoria Oregon, and Forks, Port Angeles, and Seattle Washington. I also ate at a Texas Roadhouse! All places I'd never been before! That's two gold stars so far!

3. Eat less, exercise more. 
Result: A little from column A... and a little from column B. In fact, I'd say that I did the opposite of that until I graduated from school. August through present day, however, I have been instilling this goal into my daily routine a great deal more... well... the exercise part. The eating less part was only true because I substituted SOME cookies, brownies, cakes, and all assortments of holiday goodies for A LOT of sensible good-for-me foods. Still, half a star for both attempting to exercise while in the throes of school and then a prompt upswing in said exercise when it was over. I guess the Lazy Period was mainly brain lazy. We shan't speak of the cookies.

4. Make more money - legally
Result: Fail. I made more money but it was illegal. Oh ho ho! Just kidding. I make the same. Good thing I got a Master's degree, eh? Fist shake.

5. Turn 28 
Result: Success! Did and done did! Ha! Nothing was going to keep me from accomplishing that little goal.... even if I wanted to fail! Blasted biological certainties and their inevitability. 

6. Alright... run a half marathon. Let's give it another go. Why not?
Result: Fail. Blame = School + Lazy Period. 

7. Go to movies sometimes
Result: Success! In fact, Internet, I've seen three movies within the last... 10 days! How's the for spanking that goals blue! We're painting the roses red! We're painting the roses red! No? Ahem... proceeding.

8. Wear skirts
Result: Resounding success! Weekly... nay... almost daily. I'm a skirt girl. I set myself up for success and succeed. Double gold star and a chocolate chip cookie!

9. Chew gum
Result: Success! Check and check. Through this goal I have found my preference for Orbits Sweet Mint. Accomplishing goals opens up doors you never thought possible. 

10. Go on one date in 2011..
Result: Success! In fact, I'd say I went on a grundle (word?) of dates in 2011. See what you can accomplish if you put your mind to it? I might have even gone on TWO dates with ONE person. Shooting for the stars everyone. 


So how's THAT for being a super goal-achieving achiever of goals? Pretty stinking GOOD! In fact, I'm feeling so accomplished right now, perhaps I'll just set a bunch more goals! I will call them "Resolutions 2012!" How about that?!?! MORONS!!!!

Resolutions 2012

1. Come-up with more creative titles for my lists


2. Stop calling my Internet friend(s) morons.


3. Run that *&!%$!! half marathon or stop setting it as a goal


4. Grow my hair out to my shoulders but keep the bangs... something rather Zooey DeChanel-esque 


5. Set better goals for self-improvement than "growing my hair out"


6. Travel to a few more places I've never been. I'm loathe to name specific places as I don't like to limit my myself - but I'm going to go against my better judgement and throw Washington DC out to the universe. 


7. Work on that novel. And I mean really work on that novel. Set a writing schedule, find your happy writing place, and just do the thing!


8. Make the Summer of 2012 the most campingest, outdoorsy, non-schooled summer I've ever experienced! I'm talking perma-camp fire hair smell, ridiculously sun bespeckled cheeks, and pic after pic of me in a rustic all be it super cute hiking outfit infront of many mountains, forests, streams, canyons, and critters! (Future disclaimer: Zooey counts as a critter) 


9. Now that I've slain the Diet Coke dragon (applause! It's true... the Diet Coke and I... well... I finally broke it off for good several months ago. No regrets!), lets see if we can't nip the old Sugar Fairy in the bud too. Reduce. Reduce. Reduce.


10. End Lazy Period and do stuff


11. Come on, get happy. By happy I mean content. By content I mean grateful. And by grateful I mean humble. 


So what do you think? Pretty good list, eh? And perhaps a titch more ambitious than last year (see: Chew gum and Wear Skirts). But I'm positive I will likely succeed at most (see: half marathon doomed for failure) of these goals during the wonderous year - 2012. So just in case you were a big fat resolution failure for 2011 and were considering opting out of resoluting for 2012 like I almost did, don't be a MORON* and set a few anyway. I did.  And as some advice, DO as I did and aim low so there's really no way you can screw up. 


*As January 2nd is clearly considered part of the holiday-time and thus merely 2011 "leavins"; real life doesn't start until tomorrow and THEN will all afore mentioned goals be promptly instituted. And off we go.

How can you love someone so much you just met?

Turns out... it's really easy

Welcome little Carter Taylor... and Carter Taylor's hair.