Saturday, January 30, 2010

To add insult to injury...

My date for tonight just canceled. Yep. Just now.

 Stood up.
And Canceled.

I hate dating... or rather... not dating. I don't think I'm even remotely meant to date... or so seemeth to say the Universe.

Remember what I said about jinx's and my dating life? Do you!??!?!

I was stood up for lunch yesterday. Yep. No text, no call, no "Opps! I'm sorry I got busy cause I'm so very important." Nada.

I hate to say I told you so.... but...

Thursday, January 28, 2010

LDSPlanet redeems itself... mostly

Online dating update. Wahoo! I know how you all wait around to read these juicy little updates and see what sort of cynical words I have for online dating now. Well... I may have some good words today. So... settle in.

I went out with "texty-boy" last Thursday. And... yeah that was a one time thing. Now listen, he actually redeemed his lame texty ways because he was a very nice boy (yeeeeeah... boy). He was 24 and from the country. In fact, he reminded me a lot of some of the humble nice farmer boys I went to school with in ye old Emery County. We ate at Mimi's Cafe (mmm, turkey dinner) which only added to the 'homegrown' feel this boy had spouting from him. He likes Clint Eastwood movies, wants to be a police officer, works outdoors, and had no idea where the University of Utah was located. It's endearing.... it's sweet...


Probably not the guy for me. Regardless, I wasn't really feeling it for the lad and honestly, I don't think he'd end up liking me. He was rather shy, and I probably would overwhelm him. I still chalk it up as a positive experience though.
Next redemption...

I have a lunch date tomorrow with a Orem guy I've been chatting with on and off for awhile. I don't know what sort of interest level I have at the moment (I mean it's chatting and emails... eh), but I'm glad to finally put a physical presence with the 2-month e-communications. He's a PoliSci major at BYU and finishing up his last semester as an intern on the Hill during the Leg session. Well hot dog, I happen to work not a mile from the Capitol so why not meet for lunch while he's in town for 3 months? Exactly. I kind of instigated the whole thing - but I'm starting not to care anymore who asks who to do what, when, where. Might as well get this show on the road! Besides, this way, when a guy really takes some initiative and asks me out vocally on a planned date, I will be more impressed then if he'd shown up with a copy of the Bell Jar in his back pocket and tickets to Coldplay (but I still take the tickets to Coldplay no matter what). It's the little things really. So... there's that. Another date out of the online wilderness that will probably be positive. He seems normal enough.


I may or may not be actually looking forward to a date that may or may not (but probably may) happen on Saturday. Yep. Now, as one who believes in jinx's, curses, and karma (because I have jinxed myself, feel I am cursed in so many ironic ways, and karma keeps me from using office supplies for personal needs) I am not going to disclose much. Nor am I going to act like I'm looking forward to going out with someone smart, normal (sounding), witty, interesting, and good looking. Nope.
What I will say is this - LDSPlant has done me a good turn this round and I'd like to acknowledge that through the creepers, weirdys, tools, texty's, and Joe Schmoe's, there's some dudes worth the $60, 6 month membership. And truly, this has been the most lucrative method of procuring dates I've yet tried. So... that says something for sure.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

My grandparents are way cooler than yours... like way cooler

No they really are. I mean yes, we all think our family is "like oh my gosh the best ever!" but really, my grandparents are cool... as in hip. As in they are "down yo!"

How are they hip? Well, firstly, they have a nicer cell phone than I do. In ye old Emery County - we all have Verizon cell phone plans because it's the ONLY provider that can reach us (can you hear me now? YES! WOW!). Not only do my grandparents have a cell phone (does yours?) but it's a NICE cell phone. Not convinced? Wait for it...

They ALSO have a gmail account and HAVE had one for quite. some. time. AND! AND! They USE it. Shore, a lot of your grandparents may have an email address (not gmail though I guarantee it) - but I bet they don't know how to use the fandangled thing! Con-sarn-it! My grandparents create, send, receive, and respond to emails. Beat that.

Oh you think you can?

Well get THIS! This clenches the 'my grandparents are way cooler than your grandparents' claim.

Today, I just accepted my Grandpa as a friend on Facebook! OH! Now THAT, my friends, is cool AND hip. Yes it is! And I'm not the first friend that has been requested to be his facebook friend. Nope. There are 4 other facebook friends AND he's already joined a "Draft Peter Corron For Governor in 2010" facebook GROUP. He's making political statements on Facebook!

THUS, not only do my grandparents have a nice cell phone they use, a gmail acount they use, but they are on facebook, they have facebook friends, AND have joined a facebook group! Now seriously, SERIOUSLY, how can your grandparents POSSIBLY be hipper than mine? Do your grandparents still even have their own hips??? Think about it.


(*Oh oh oh! They check my blog too. Yep. They can get to and check my blog... yet another hip thing to do. They also just signed up for Netflix. I haven't even signed up for Netflix!)

Friday, January 15, 2010

Online Dating Update - How texting FAILS

Well, I suppose it's time to update the online dating saga. There hasn't been much to make note of - not even exceptionally ridiculous tools to mock. I mean the entertainment is half the fun, right? There never ceases to be the occasional creeper though (57 year olds sending me "You're Beautiful" flirts... ick).

There are a few things I've noticed the last couple weeks however (and this may be just because I'm in a "meh, I don't care at the moment" mood). All the dudes on this thing are... the same. Do you know what I mean? It's like, if I've read one profile I've read them all. They all like fun (which one day I want to send a message to one of them and say "I hate fun! Fun sucks! I don't get what the big deal is about fun!"), they all play some variation of the same 3 sports, they all like to listen to music (again... is there someone out there that truly hates music?) and they are all looking for someone "fun". Again, the fun. They describe all their regular dude qualities that most dudes share. These are fine - but I already know that. I know about regular dude things. It's like girls saying "I like shoes." No kidding. It's these 'no kidding' details that have created some apathy for me towards the online dating search. They truly all follow the same basic patterns with little variation or insight. Of course to be fair, I don't expect to know someones inner most desires or discover their endearing quirks through a few lines on an online dating site, but truly (and perhaps snobbishly), I've already become rather bored with the process and even more unimpressed with the options. No one sticks out. So... there's that.

Oh, and the TEXTING. Ugh. I mean we're already e-dating, can't we have one form of non entirely "e" communication? I've also discovered that about 75% of those that e-date, will naturally e-do everything else. "E" doing things is convenient and easy - but doesn't that take away the depth of the interaction to an extent. I mean sure e-invite for a Rock Band Party - but would you e-tell your parents you've decided to quit your sensible job to move to Guam and study squid fish? No... well, maybe. ;)

Another real life example: I've been emailing this dude a little bit and he makes the "we should hang out sometime" transition. Alright, why not? Seems like a nice stable guy. I sent my number on over and said "Yeah sure. Let me know." Well... last night he texted me. Oy. I've come to really hate texting as far as an acceptable dating procedure. I really do. This supports my issue with lack of organic interaction with people - there's no sincere connection - no meaning. Even a voice carried on satellite waves to my ear is more real than some texted words. Plus, I find texting to ask someone out lame and cowardly (come on dudes... be MEN! Just call! What could happen? Back in the day, dudes had to go over to a girls house and ask permission of their gun-toting, hay-bailing, father to "call on Jenny" and then come back later and meet the whole fam before going to the barn dance. Dudes got it EASY with a phone call).

So I was already put off a bit with the "Hey. How's it going. Do you want to hang out still?" text but further put off by "Cool... when do you want to go out?" and then downright uninterested, because it was clear I was going to have to plan out these details and he had absolutely nothing in mind. Siiiiiigh. Really, I do ask two things of dudes (and tell me if this is completely unreasonable) - they call, and they plan it (Elder Oaks agrees with me I MIGHT add). Nothing extravagant of course (as Utah daters have clear issues with these crazy weird dates... I just want an hour lunch at Jason's Deli or a nice walk through memory grove) Or at LEAST have a DAY in mind - a FEW days to suggest! This texty-man had me give day options and pretty much "be the man" in the scenario. I really want to be the girl when I date. Is that so much to ask? As I am, in fact, a girl? If he wants to do something with me, shouldn't he have something in mind? I don't want to plan it. It's his deal. I guess if he doesn't have to call and plan - I don't have to be available or bath right? That's the trade off I think. Girls try and accomodate and spend time looking cute, so dude will call and ask her out, and she will be cute when he comes to get her. Shrug. Makes sense to me. But then again, I've been single my whole life save about 3 months two years ago. True.

Anyway... I'll go out with him, but I kinda don't want to because of the texting first and me having to take the lead on the whole thing. I know I know, give it a chance, blah blah blah, and I will. That's why I'm going -even if I don't really want to. That's not to say there aren't guys on there I wouldn't mind going out with - or honestly - guys I've actually MET I'd like to go out with - but those guys never ask. Oh the wo's and ironies of dating. Am I right my friends? The ones you'd LOVE to go out with never ask. I've gone out twice, TWICE, with someone I've really wanted to go out with. It just doesn't seem right...

And the beat goes on...

Thursday, January 14, 2010

Skip the Starbucks and Help Haiti

Do so here (a list of reputable groups that will appropriately utilize your donations)... do it.

Seriously. You live in a cushy city with cushy amenities like hot water, electricity, and food (even if the cupboards or bare its because of your own laziness and not because you can't go buy a box of Mac 'n Cheese at the Smiths... eh?), and slept in a cushy (all be it functionary) bed. You can help Haiti. In addition to the above link - below are direct links to Red Cross and LDS Church sites if they are your international aid donation group of choice.

International Red Cross

American Red Cross (is taking donations in a number of ways. You can send a $10 donation by texting 'Haiti' to 90999. Donations can be sent to the International Response Fund through or by calling (800) 733-2767. )

LDS Church (which I might add a large plane full of goods and aid left this morning... the Church is always so on top of things. SO! On top of things!)
*And as a little food for thought - the Wasatch Front has been slatted for a very large earthquake sometime in the future - so thinking that Haiti is a remote country where it's hard to grasp the reality and severity of what happened - think about SLC squished between tectonic plates and perhaps donate out of pure karma.

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Finally becoming a true American... via McDonalds

Last Friday I admitted to my colleagues that I had never once in my life gotten a hamburger from McDonalds. My co-worker Michele's jaw about hit the floor when I told her that. She was personally offended and called me un-American (what's ironic about THAT comment is she's never seen a single episode of Star Wars and FURTHERMORE, didn't know what 'the force' was... yep... your jaw just hit the ground, didn't it? Talk about un-American!). In the days of growing up in a small town - when we went to Price for our grocering (about 20 (non-stop-lighted) minutes away), Wendys was our fast-food of choice. It was instilled in us early that McDonalds was "disgusting" and if we were going to eat fries and chicken nuggets, then we'd be going to Wendys! Apparently slightly more higher class. Though as a child it was hard for me to grasp how a place that has a huge jungle gym full of plastic balls, tunnels, and slides could be so evil. As an adult... it's all come together.

SO! Being the patriot that I am, we decided to remedy this gross oversight and, as a group we went to McDonalds that very day for lunch and added to the monopoly that is McDonalds by purchasing and consuming a McDonalds 'baby Mac', a small fry, and a diet soda.

Internet! I should like to invite you to this event. Witness the triumphant moment below!

Mmmm, smells nice.

Yep... tastes like butt, just as expected. But hey, now I am fully American! I salute the red, the white, and the blue with greasy fingers and an endearing dribble of 'special sauce' smudged on my happy mouth. Now it's off to Wal-Mart for low priced, sweat-shop manufactured cotton balls, and then maybe I'll test drive a gas-guzzling Ford F250 to drive 3 blocks between my house and work and finish in just enough time to go back to McDonalds for another dozing of fried deliciousness. Party in the USA!

(an aside... I totally broke out the next day with 3 new friendly zits. The costs of becoming truly American I guess... ahem)

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Thailand you say?

Ticket just PURCHASED!!!!

Bangkok, Phuket Island, Cambodia, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam...

April 29th begins 16 days in Paradise... siiiiigh

The countdown beings.

As does the making of many, many, many lists (and strict work out routine). I expect you all to submit your opinions, suggestions, and experiences of course. Tell me what YOU know about having a beautiful time in Thailand. And I will show you just how beautiful it is in May.


Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Winter Me

I'm STUGGLING this winter! Sheesh! Though life is peachy-keen and I'm pretty content with my life happenings, I'm so not digging this winter season. Nope. Not in the least. And it goes well beyond the cold and darkness. Rather, I morph into some atrocious being that can only gloomily slump around the icy streets choking on inversion and glaring blearily out windows in hopes of catching one ray of life-renewing sunlight. ALAS! Let the pictures illustrate...

My skin in the winter... scaly, crackily, sunken, basically transparent, and falling off.

My winter-lungs. I tell you - I wake up at night coughing because I have this dry icky tickle in my throat because of nasty smoggy inversion settling over SLC for MONTHS on end! It's true. I may soon buy a humidifier just so I can sleep through the night. Imagine, smokers do this to themselves... on purpose.

My winter hair - dry, frizzy, limp, and out of control. I feel like I have a head full of strung-out straw.

Thus, my friends, you put all of those miseries together, and I basically morph into the below during the winter: pale, sickly, limp stringy hairs, slightly angry, and coughing up pollution. If you looked like this, you just might develop a split personality too! Winter me vs. Summer me... and winter me is far from attractive or pleasant in any respect.

It's not very nice is it precious? No, not very nice at all... GOLLUM! GOLLUM!

Sunday, January 3, 2010

The Return of Disney - Remember the Magic

Disney is back doing what Disney does best... animated feel good family friendly films. You go Disney! You GO! You don't need Pixar to carry the good name of Disney (ya know I love ya still Pixar, though, right? okay). Take a moment and think back to some of the really great Disney animated films that put magic into our every day lives: Snow White, Robin Hood (ooda lolly!), Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, the Aristocats, my personal hands down favorite Beauty and the Beast, Lion King, Aladdin, and rounding it all out with Mulan. Sigh. What a dynasty... and I'm glad to see Disney taking it back to what made Disney Disney in all our hearts in the first place. Tear, sniff, nose blow.

Do yourself a happy favor and give animated Disney films another go around with the Princess and the Frog. Classic Disney in every. single. way. The happiest place on earth.

Friday, January 1, 2010

The post every self-respecting blogger will include: Review and Resolutions

It's January 1st again. 2010! What a great year, am I right? And I feel it's going to be a really great year - and not because it couldn't get any worse like last year. Ha! I feel it a win when you are looking forward to a new year and not solely because the last one was such total crap. Sometimes I feel like my years meld together - but this one was rather distinct with a few new happenings to add to the "2009 Year in Review" itinerary.

So lets see... only a few honorable mentions I think. Yes.

First, I failed at the majority of my resolutions for 2009 - aaaaaand they were pretty boring resolutions at that. Well-meaning as most resolutions are - but I think this year instead of making 10 encompassing 'life-change' resolutions, I'm going to focus on specific events that can start and end in 2010. Make sense? Shore it does.

Last year I resolved to practice the piano more - which I did - until I moved downtown again in a small little apt 2 miles from work with no readily available piano forte. So. Worth. It. Though. I can't imagine living anywhere else in SLC than Downtown Aves or Sugarhouse. So I'm very happy to live downtown SLC again after being away for a year and a half. It's like coming home. All this home needs is a little piano - and believe me - I've been keeping an eye out.

I ALSO resolved to go somewhere I'd never been. WELL! That kinda happened in 2009. I went a few small places like St. George, San Diego, aaaaaaand, Cedar City (ha), but I'd been to all those places before. I'd never been to Coronado in San Diego, however, and that was EASILY my favorite part of my San Diego Labor Day weekend. So that counts for sure. How-ev-er, I did spend 2009 planning my big trip to Thailand April-May 2010; right inbetween semesters. So, though it didn't happen in 2009, it was 2009 and that lofty resolution that made me plan it out. And now, I'm going. 100%. Awesome.

Lastly, the other mentionable resolution from last year was to get a new kitty. Well, I didn't get a 'new' kitty but rather more exciting, got 'old' kitty back. I gave Lila away when I left for California to start a journey around the globe that didn't happen. I was sad to have left her, but mercifully got her back this year. Little Lila is pretty happy I think, as she lounges around like she owns the place. I'm going to label that resolution as accomplished. She was much more grown up after all when I received her back so it was like she was new again. Good kitty.

Also notable in 2009, I settled more happily into my job and feel like I have a better handle on my program and what it needs to be successful, I turned 26 (aka 'the other side' of 25), attended almost all Ute home games, played some excellent Ultimate Frisbee all summer, went on Nik and I's annual "Death Hike" (aka Lake Blanche), saw Henry V at the Shakespeare Festival, bought my very first car - Stella, AND, perhaps the most important happening, started Grad school at the U. Phew. Not too bad. Not too bad at all.

Now, enough of the reflection, time to resolve... or resolute... (?)

Lets make this bulleted and simple. Quick and dirty! I've thought about these to some extent - and though mostly petty - I think more realistic (and fun) than some of my past resolutions. And here we go...

1. Thailand in the Spring (as an over-lap of the 2009 resolution) as well as Cambodia, Vietnam, and Laos. Ticket to be purchased in January! Yeeeeeeeeeesssssss.

2. I'm not cutting my hair until this time next year. Is this a resolution? Dunno. But I think it will be fun to try anyway. Now listen, there are a few caveats to this 'resolution' as in when my hair grows, it poofs, and thus, it WILL need a good thinning out every 2 months or so. THAT, I reserve the right to do unless I want to start my career as a bushy haired cat-woman earlier than I had planned. When I shower myself for today - I will post a pic of "here is my hair January 2010" and round it out with "here is my hair January 2011" next year. Oh the anticipation! And why not have a useless but fun resolution for once? EH!??!!

3. I'd like to learn to sew things. This requires I get a sewing machine and some time during school. The sewing machine I can handle... it's the TIME that will be tricky. But I want to make the effort as I feel I could sew-up the dresses I visualize in my mind but can never find in the stores. So... though this sounds a rather loose resolution - I'm gonna make it anyway. Sew stuff. Check.

4. Next, run a half marathon this year. I'm thinking the SLC half in April. I run for exercise and have always thought most people simply crazy who attempt anything beyond 3 miles - but after running the Wasatch Back Relay and feeling the sheer exhilaration that comes with pushing yourself to accomplish the impossible, I want to try a half marathon and see how I fair. I also was introduced to a website that arranges full-fledged Marathons throughout the world and I found one in KENYA Africa for 2011. Seriously, where better to run a first marathon than Kenya? Doesn't it just seem to fit? So the half for this year is to see how I handle long long long, distance running before I attempt the all mighty Marathon. Yipes.

5. As another whimsical travel goal - I hope to be writing my 2011 resolutions from Sydney Australia. Apparently, they have the BEST fireworks show in the Woooooorld. This was confirmed to me through several media clips throughout the day yesterday highlighting the sheer awesomeness of celebrating New Years in Australia. At that moment I resolved to go to Australia for New Years (and possibly Christmas as well) next year. And I'm pretty determined as I've already recuited two suckers to go with me. And they'll go if they know what's good for them!

6. Alright - here's my last one. And don't make fun of me cause I'm SERIOUS! So judge if ya want ;) cause I would, but this year I'm getting married. Yep. I've officially decided that this year is the year. I feel I've experienced a good amount of single living and enjoyed it thoroughly; so now I'm ready for the next level. So I'm gonna get married (or engaged) within 2010. I hear if you write these things down they have a greater chance of actually happening. Well, I'm going to go ahead and NOT count some of last years failed resolutions into the odds of 'if you write it, it will happen' scenario but instead, make this rather lofty aspiration a real written down goal and sending it 'out there' for the Universe to grant. You never know! And WHEN it actually happens, I guarantee it will change New Years resolutions forever.

There you have it. I've fulfilled my obligatory blogger responsibility by posting my 2009 reflections and 2010 resolutions. If you're any sort of blogger, you'll do the same ;) Oh and as for the pics from my crazy New Years Eve, ha ha ha, oh man, I will have to tell you all about it soon. There's pictures involved so as soon as I've received those - I can tell you about the jammin dance party my friends and I crashed at the U where it turned out the median age of attendees was... oh... 40. Ohhhhh yeeeeees. So. Many. Stories. Wow.

Happy New Year!