Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Finally becoming a true American... via McDonalds

Last Friday I admitted to my colleagues that I had never once in my life gotten a hamburger from McDonalds. My co-worker Michele's jaw about hit the floor when I told her that. She was personally offended and called me un-American (what's ironic about THAT comment is she's never seen a single episode of Star Wars and FURTHERMORE, didn't know what 'the force' was... yep... your jaw just hit the ground, didn't it? Talk about un-American!). In the days of growing up in a small town - when we went to Price for our grocering (about 20 (non-stop-lighted) minutes away), Wendys was our fast-food of choice. It was instilled in us early that McDonalds was "disgusting" and if we were going to eat fries and chicken nuggets, then we'd be going to Wendys! Apparently slightly more higher class. Though as a child it was hard for me to grasp how a place that has a huge jungle gym full of plastic balls, tunnels, and slides could be so evil. As an adult... it's all come together.

SO! Being the patriot that I am, we decided to remedy this gross oversight and, as a group we went to McDonalds that very day for lunch and added to the monopoly that is McDonalds by purchasing and consuming a McDonalds 'baby Mac', a small fry, and a diet soda.

Internet! I should like to invite you to this event. Witness the triumphant moment below!

Mmmm, smells nice.

Yep... tastes like butt, just as expected. But hey, now I am fully American! I salute the red, the white, and the blue with greasy fingers and an endearing dribble of 'special sauce' smudged on my happy mouth. Now it's off to Wal-Mart for low priced, sweat-shop manufactured cotton balls, and then maybe I'll test drive a gas-guzzling Ford F250 to drive 3 blocks between my house and work and finish in just enough time to go back to McDonalds for another dozing of fried deliciousness. Party in the USA!

(an aside... I totally broke out the next day with 3 new friendly zits. The costs of becoming truly American I guess... ahem)


Cory and Michele said...

I am so happy that I was there the day you became a true American (wiping tears) - a true American eats that crap and then talks about how much they regret eating it. Happens all the time. Because for some reason, once you have the 'Baby Mac' you'll want another. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day.

Maybe, just maybe, you will be there the day when I become a true American. Wouldn't that be fun?

Mike & Emily West said...

Now that I'm in the bonny land of the Scots, I'd give anything for a burger...EVEN but-tasting McDonalds. We are out in the sticks so the closest thing we have is a mutton chop from ye local pub!

Nasher said...

Next time get the Spicy McChicken.

And to Mike & Emily, if you are liking in Scotland then you have the opportunity to go to Chip shoppes (I recommend getting a pizza supper), real Indian curries, Haggis Nips an Tatties, and Greggs Bakery (get the Chicken Pastie and fudge donut). Forget about nasty burgers.

cheryl said...

This is not true. As a child we went to McDonalds and you ate happy meals.