Wednesday, December 9, 2009

It has come to this... online dating

Well! I've made the big move. Yes, it's true... I have signed up on a (deep breath) LDS Singles dating site. It has finally come to this...

LDSPlanet. That's where I am... and I guess that makes me an "online dater?" Oh man. I can't even tell you how hesitant I was to do this; but let me tell you why I did it (not that I need to explain anything to the likes of YOU!... but maybe a little to myself). I have several friends who are acquainted with and have joined many sites like this... LDS Singles sites particularly. And they all say, "I was skeptical at first..." and though this hasn't yet been followed by a "now I'm engaged!" ;) it HAS been followed by "and really, it's just another place to meet new people and that's nice." Which kinda sold me on it. Singles Wards, School, and Work. Nada. So, what other options are there?

I have one particular friend who, after moving to SLC and attending her singles ward, was frustrated (we're all riding that train sista!) about not having any opportunities to meet anyone new. And really ya'll, can I tell you I've gone on a grand total of 3 dates with dudes from my Singles Ward in my ENTIRE 8 years, 8 YEARS, attending Singles Wards... and 2 of those dates were with the same guy. Yes. 3 dates. 8 years. Those odds aren't particularly encouraging. Not encouraging at all. Pointless Singles Wards! (I will save my "Singles Wards are pointless for what they're meant to do" rant for a later time).

Anyway, so my friend signed up on LDSPlanet and LDSSingles and has been a dating machine for the last handful of months. Now, again, most of the dates have just been first dates and some have been with those type of creepers you expect to find living (no really... I don't think they have day jobs) on these sites - but there have been those token few outings that have encouraged my friend to keep at it. Keep on trucking. She also mentioned it's made her a better dater and shown her what she really likes in a person and what she just can't handle. So, I find those things very useful as a 26 year old, also not knowing where to meet anyone new, single gal. Plus, what do I have to lose?

So... here's my little experiment with online dating. I signed up. I'm going to give it a concerted effort and see how it goes. 6 month membership baby! I'm PAYING for this shiz! But in the end, I think it will be beneficial in some respects. I mean, it's been 3 days and already I've had conversations with some dudes that I actually would consider going out with. 3 days! Compare that with 8 years... and suddenly this has been the answer all along. Wish me luck!


Crazy Walker said...

It's really sad the social stigma that is placed with online dating. Facebook is so commonplace my parents and (gasp) grandparents use it. Everyone has a blog. But for some reason, it's still considered "weird" to try to network for dating purposes.

I'll admit this here. But only if you don't reveal my true identity.

I totally met my husband on lds singles dot com.

And we hardly ever tell anyone that we met that way. (please don't tell your boss this, I'm not sure I ever told her! lol!) Because people automatically start thinking you're a socially awkward dweeb who's still living in his parents basement and plays World of Warcraft 20 hours of the day.

I hope the fact that I used the internets to date doesn't throw you off from wanting to do it. :) While I'm a pretty nerdy person, who puts on a front of being normal, I did meet a lot of really great people that I enjoyed getting to know. And if anything, it just fills up some Saturday nights!

Good luck to you on this quest! I think you'll find that many people say they could never do the online dating thing actually already have a profile out there. :D

Anonymous said...

I wish you the kind of luck I had :)

I met my wonderful, handsome, loving, kind, generous, brilliant, funny, talented, very active LDS Priesthood holder, absolutely "perfect for me" devoted Husband on LDSPlanet. We have been married just over two years now.

It was a great way to meet. He first sent me a flirt, then we emailed for a while and started chatting online. Once I was feeling confident he was someone I could trust I let him give me his phone number. I called him and blocked my number lol. He was wonderful on the phone so we talked and talked and talked for weeks till I finally agreed to meet him at a restaurant. After that first date we were together then on. We were married in just less than a year. He and I both really had a hard time finding people of like minds and interests, but online we were able to express those things on our profile and Wow what a difference that makes. He saw my profile and saw that we had soooo much in common. It is truly like we have known each other our whole lives. It is wonderful!

I wish you all the best and that you find that perfect guy for you! :)

LDSPlanet Graduate :)

Andrea Jolene said...

Anonymous - thank you for sharing your story! And it really is a great story and hey, very encouraging. I will keep at it and see what comes of it. I like your caution as well... and will make sure I am as cautious ;)


Andrea Jolene said...

Crazy Walker who must not be named!! I will never tell Melissa ;) Ha ha ha. We are having a Christmas party at her house on Wednesday - in case you wondered what kind of partying we were all doing here abouts.

ANYWAY! DUDE! Thanks for sharing your story. YOu realize we are cut from the same dweeby mold right? Very encouraging I think!

Anonymous said...

Andrea, I did online dating for 2 years before I met Carlton. During those 2 years I managed to never pay for the online dating membership, but, ironically, once I had it up to here and decide to pay I met Carlton. Hope you lucky too! At least your pool of men is larger. Do you know how hard it is to find a non-LDS, educated beyond a bachelor's degree guy with no major hang-ups such had prior LDS marriages in Utah?

Marisa Jean said...

I just wrote you a freaking novel and then BAM! Evil blogger deleted one will be much shorter.

Andrea, I am shocked and surprised by this decision. Really, didn't see it coming.

I did the online thing for about 3 weeks during a particularly lonely spell. The cuties came out in herds, and then were quickly gobbled up by the creepers, as you put them. And that's where it ended for me. But it did give me a boost of confidence and got me back on the dating wagon, which was a very necessary step.

I'm interested to see how this pans out for you. This office is filled with successful online dating stories.

Andrea Jolene said...

Jorie - Touche! HA! Actually, my friend Ashlee is in your same boat... even SLIMMER pickins when you look at it that way. I'm glad you found a Carlton!

Misty said...

BAH!!!! I know what friend you're talking about!!!! Oh man! She is such a convincer, that one! "hmm"

JUST ME, THE MOM said...

Good luck! At least you'll have some great stories to share with us all - can't WAIT to hear :)

Also, you never know, I also know several couples who are living happily ever after . . . all because of online dating, although I'd be a bit skeptical also.

Best wishes!


heidikins said...

I applaud you and look forward to your stories.

Also--this totally counts as "outside your comfort zone"

Andrea: Win
Singles Wards: Lose


Crazy Walker said...

Andrea, Joel is a mean cook, and I don't give those kind of kudos out generously. lol. I need to get a hold of her anyway. My little guy keeps walking around asking about her kids. Maybe I should just spill the beans and come clean! a ha ha!