Wednesday, June 22, 2011

I wouldn't win a trip to Paris!

And that's truly a crying shame. Tres triste, non? Oui.

Let me tell you something about me and winning stuff. I don't. I don't win things, I don't have things drop in my lap, I'm never at the right place at the right time, and that one in a million people who are eaten by a shark each year? That's me. That one statistic.Thus I'm a little jumpy when wading into large bodies of water... salt and otherwise.

So not only do I not win or luck out or am a recipient of joyous coincidence, but I have severe bad luck in most instances. I can't ever catch a break. I've always had to work for everything... as Mrs. Serendipity has had a grudge against me for years.  And yes, she WOULD be a Mrs.

And yet...

I continue to have hope that one day, karma will throw me a bone. I do believe in karma and that's why I do things like clock my work hours to the MINUTE and return extra change and let vehicles cut infront of me on the freeway and hold the door open for old folks. Because of my inordinate amount of non-luck and even bad luck, I feel I can't afford to insight karma's wrath as well. Even if Mrs. Serendipity isn't on my side, I can actively recruit Mr. Karma, am I right? And listen, I don't attempt to do good deeds with the hope of reward, it's just always in the back of my brain that if I DON'T help... it will come back to bite me, in the form of a shark, clean through my LEG.

Thus, to continue to cultivate this, what some may call a "fools hope", I enter contests for Paris with a small glimmer in my heart that the winner could actually be ME this time! Maybe! And I genuinely suffer somewhat intense disappointment when my one in 5,265 chances doesn't come to fruition. I figure, SOMEONE has to win it, right? Why not me? Why not ME?!?!

Well, because the person who wins trips to Paris probably also wins free TV's, radio concert tickets, stumbles upon a $20 on the street, and happens to see her year-long crush on a day when she's never looked hotter in her life... likely culminating in a "eye opening I love you moment" for said eligible bachelor... followed by a first date... engagement... and 3 kids in a picturesque downtown two level home with a beagle and herb garden happily wrapping up her third novel and finishing packing for their two week FREE trip to France.  I can't compete with those sorts of serendipitous types. An average-luck layman couldn't compete with that! How could I ever hope to compete with that?

I hate that person.

And I want to be that person.

And yet, I will continue to find the one chair of 100 with the broken leg (name that ironic movie moment), fall for men who always turn out to be gay (not that there's anything wrong with that), get stuck in an elevator with my sworn arch-nemesis, and not winning trips to Paris. All of this would seem very gray, if not for the fact I still live a pretty good existence regardless of my relationship with Serendipity. It means I've actively controlled my destiny against all odds! And because of this, Mr Karma will soon appreciate my acknowledgment of his just work and finally, FINALLY, finally, give me that free trip to Paris, or that $10 surprise in my pocket, or that chance run-in with the man of my dreams when I've never looked better!

I have hope!

And Mrs. Serendipity can't ever take away my hope. Cause that's the sort of sucker I am!


Jaime Van Hoose Steele said...

I have lots of luck! I win stuff all the time! What is this contest so that I can steal your thunder??

Nasher said...

Maybe if you stopped worshiping the false gods of serendipity and karma then the one true god would start helping you out. I am just being honest. :P

Andrea Jolene said...

Pete - that makes ZERO sense!

Jaime Van Hoose Steele - ... ... ...

joN. said...

is that chair movie moment from 'pure luck'?

Kristin said...

heeheehee a great post - it's something you and I have in common - I never win ANYTHING either :) I finally gave up on entering any giveaway of any sort (although I probably would have entered for the trip to Paris had I seen it!) I predict it won't be long until both Mrs. Serendipity and Mrs. Karma are sending good vibes your way :D


Andrea Jolene said...