Tuesday, January 29, 2008

The shoes shrink and the fruit roll up immediatly crusts!

I made many small discoveries today I found rather fascinating and/or irritating. Settle in.

I have a small space heater under my desk at work. My office has a window, and below said window is my desk. It's freezing. I feel like I've been cold forever - I don't recall what it is to be warm. Stupid winter. I usually don't mind winter! I like snow and the change. I like the clothes, the holidays, and the sports! Alas, perhaps because I had no money to get fun holiday gifts like I usually do...nor clothes for that matter, nor have I had the money to do my winter sports of choice (snowboarding and snowshoeing), and because the holidays are over as quickly as winter begins, I'm SICK of winter and SICK of cold. Sick n' tired. Plus, my condo, like most housing units in monopolized Provo, LOOKS very nice, but is built so poorly the heat in our hall only HEATS our hall and the bathroom. Luckily it's my bathroom - but anything within a 3 foot radius of a window is perpetually frozen. My bed for one. Sigh - and alas, my office has a window (on the bottom floor) that follows the "freeze within 3 foot radius" as well. Shiver.

I have a space heater under my desk. I believe that's what I began with. So I'm trying to bring you back after my "hate-winter" tangent. I also have the second job at the fashionable clothing store so many times I wear shoes to Job 1, that I can also wear to Job 2 because it's a direct shot from Job 1. No home in between. These shoes are usually "nicer" flats or boots that are appropriate for a fashionable clothing store and thus, because of the winter, tend to get a little more damp then the cozier, warmer, tennis shoe or Ugg. Because I have the heater under my desk, I started to take off my shoes under my desk and flex my pink toes in the warmth, and "dry" my shoes. Well my friends, my leather banana shoes were part of this brilliant idea for several hours, nay, an entire day so when I went to put them back on to walk out to work, What ho? They shrank!! They were significantly tighter on my foot than when I arrived. Well! Leather shoes shrink! Noted. But, come to find out today (the leather shoes were a couple days ago) MOST shoes shrink when they have been dampened and then dry under a current of very hot air. Mmmm, hot air. I found that out today when my black not so leather shoes also felt more snug as I put them back on after having set them in front of the heater. Huh. Noted again!

Another discovery. Today, it being ICY freezing outside if course, I walked about two blocks to the "eatery." And by eatery I mean the little food court located in the midst of the office buildings that make up or little business loop. It's not that far and would be ludicrous, even in freezing temperatures, to DRIVE. Today, while I'm waiting in line to pay for my salad (which was gross - just one of those weeks where everything tastes bad), I see little silver wrapped fruit roll ups in cherry flavor winking at me near the cashiers desk. Mm! Fruit roll up! So I snag one for a little dessert. I ate my salad (and finished my book) and started walking back to the office and what ho! I remember my little fruit roll up friend I'd hastily put in my pocket (after paying for it of course) and break it out as I walk 2 blocks in the cold. I start to pick and pull at it and notice that it starts to "flake" a bit around the edges. That's weird. Then the whole thing, almost freakishly, starts to stiffen and crackle! What? I tear it down the middle and immediately the new ripped edge starts to stiffen. Could it be the cold is crusting my fruit roll up! Damn you! And indeed - that was the case. I lost a few little pieces as I was walking, and now hastily eating my funny little fruity treat. As I entered the office with a tiny bit left, it loosened up again. It's like I was eating some small living chewy guppy that reacts to the cold almost as adversely as I do when I have to prepare myself to open the outside door. I feel you little fruit roll up. Swallow. Mmm.

So there you have it. Two strange discoveries of note today and hopefully, something of a warning for you leather shoe wearers and fruit roll up eaters alike! Also a reminder how winter sucks. Thank me later...cause you will.


heidikins said...

Trying not to giggle at your obvious distress... which means, I suppose, that this is an incredibly well-written post.


Crowther said...

I would agree with Heidi funny post. Spring's not tooo far around the bend, so hang in there:)

naomi said...

One time in december, i left my fruit roll ups in the car. Overnight. The next morning I entertainmed myself by throwing them at a wall and shattering them. Yes, shattering.