Conspiracy Theory in Green Velvet

Because my writing inspiration tank is chugging on fumes... I can't promise any mind-altering posts in the near future. I mean because my posts usually are, you know, mind-altering. Why not? You might ask.  Is it because I've started watching the X-Files start to finish (currently on Season 4 episode 4!) and now my mind is more consumed with debunking government conspiracies rather than reflecting on life's this and that's? Is it because I've started reading novels again and my creative juices seem lack-luster compared with talent of legitimate novelists? Is it because I feel overwhelmed at the amount of time and creativity folks devote to their blogs that makes mine look amateurish and dull? IS IT??!??!?

Maybe...

It's mostly the X-Files though. I see conspiracy everywhere these days. Example: I was contemplating last night upon the movie Contagion. Have you seen it? Well, you should cause it will freak your socks off. It freaked me out a little bit - just because disease spreading seems much more diabolical than nuclear war in my mind. I'd rather risk being vaporized than pustuleized. Apparently all my disease fears center on pustules. This post is self-reflective after all. Things transported easily by air or touch strikes fear in my soul simply because it's an invisible enemy. You can't see it riding on someone's shoulder posed to leap... it just smoothly jumps from them to you in a swift natural movement and before you know it... a handshake becomes the kiss of death. At least the nuclear bomb has the decency to whistle and explode into a mushroom cloud before melting your face off. It's just plain common decency. I'd like to know when death is knocking.

Anyway...

I was contemplating Contagion last night and got to thinking... this sure is interesting timing to release such a movie, isn't it? I mean THINK about it. Flu season is upon us... the movie specifically mentions such recent epidemics as H1N1 (pig flu), bird flu, and other such sicknesses they've had to boil up a vaccine for. They liken those epidemics with this pig/bat/brain melting sickness that sweeps over the entire earth in a matter of months - wiping out millions. It's the black death of 2011! So I found the timing very interesting... almost TOO interesting. Releasing such a film when people are starting to prepare their immune system for "flu season" and on the hunt for vaccinations of all sorts.

I then thought it interesting they paint the CDC and other governmental bureaucrats as the do-gooders trying their best to save the good people of planet earth; meanwhile contending with the loony conspiracy theorist (Jude Law) utilizing social media to elicit a following that ultimately turns out to be self-serving and downright ludicrous. Isn't THAT interesting? ISN'T IT?!?! AND! It's ALSO interesting that the government ends up finding said anti-dote because they contract their services to a private firm in San Francisco. What the political underpinnings! What the economic allusion to contracting government services for the most quality product!

And FURTHERMORE! You've guaranteed that most people in the USofA will see this movie given it's plethora of legitimate A-list stars gracing the credits: Matt Damon, Gwenyth Paltrow, Kate Winslet (adore), Marian Cotillard (also adore), Laurence Fishburn, Jude Law, and a dozen other recognizables commonly supported by the general populous. I mean, right?!??!

It all adds UP!?!??!

The government is about to release a wide-spread brain melting epidemic that is transmitted by mere touch alone and then will swoop in with the anti-dote after the world's population has been reduced by MILLIONS there-by solidifying our blinding faith in their administrative oversight so we will never question their authority AGAIN!

OR!

They are making sure that every citizen in the world gets a flu vaccination which is actually not a vaccination at all but in fact, the next bubonic plague and once all of America has been subconsciously influenced by the movie Contagion to get their vaccinations and start dying en masse the government will "miraculously" come up with the anti-dote and ONLY make it available to those who support and are a part of the GOVERNMENTS HEALTH CARE POLICY! Thus, socialism takes over the WORLD!

OR!

They (i.e. the GOVERNMENT) are preparing the world for an alien invasion and therefore, to avoid mass hysteria will utilize this movie to subconsciously plant "go get a flu vaccination" into our minds which really turns out to be a genetic marker that will make every human who is injected either an alien-human hybrid making those who receive the injection immune to the poisons the invading aliens will strategically infect the entire human race in preparation for colonization OR, causing the OPPOSITE effect and slowly killing off humans in preparation for the alien invasion. Thus leaders must strike a deal with the alien invaders that allows them to live and rule alongside this new world colony all the while secretly concocting an anti-dote to the poisonous injection that was ROUTINELY administered through seasonal FLU VACCINATIONS thus allowing government leaders to save themselves and hand select others to receive this immunity OR selling it to the highest bidder! Power! Money! Intrigue! Colonization!

It's a conspiracy I tell you!!!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!

....
...
...

Seriously though, I am interested to see the upswing of flu shot vaccinations this year compared with last year in correlation with the release of the movie. Right? I mean what a great study on the influence of media... adding irony to the thick of things by integrating the Jude Law story line and alluding to how easily the masses are swayed by Facebook, twitter, Hollywood... and the nightly ritual of watching an X-Files episode that may lead to gross paranoia and exuberant exaggeration.... erp.... wait...

So you can see why my mind has been occupied elsewhere.

I'd also like you to know, I started this post with the intent of bagging on velvet. Yeah, it makes no sense what-so-ever... velvet and that my original inspiration for this post was to mock it. I think the post started out with the intent of my lacking so much creative writing juice that I'd reduced myself to analyzing synthetic materials. It turned into a conspiracy rant instead. But really, velvet? What a strange material! I think velvet should be used to line coffins and draped across sorceresses (sorceressi?) or fortune tellers and not worn by the average person to any event at all... no... not even Christmas events. Clearly Halloween is acceptable as velvet is rather costumey. But that's it! I also find it a very creepy sort of texture that makes me think of black lights and musky scents... like a thick amber vanilla incense. Though, I guess my dislike of velvet lies more within the "all over" velvet rather than just a hint of it here or there - on a bow, or the top half of a fancy dress vs. an entire dress constructed out of the stuff.

It's still a very weird texture to me and I always question the wearing of it in any sense outside of a theatrical production or... Transylvania... or... over the age of 8. Ya know how little girls Christmas dresses always have some velvet involved. We can let that slide...

So here's the moral of this post: Really think about that flu vaccine and notice if those administering it are dressed all in black and using a lot of acronyms... and save the velvet for Halloween.  I've also learned that I'm my most eccentric at my least-creative.

I think we've done some good work here. Keep Calm... Carry On.