Monday, March 26, 2012

Things that Must Go Part Deux

Around this time last year, I posted a little rant entitled "Things that MUST Go." You are now having the opportunity to enjoy "Things that MUST Go Part Deux." What joy!

We all have pet peeves and I feel, most of these pet peeves tend to be a matter of perspective depending on your past experiences, or perhaps attached to some childhood incident that grated on your pre-pubescent nerves so severely it's like fingernails on the chalk board of your life, or because we live in a world of obnoxious things that none of us would be too loathe to do without.

Thus, without further ado, here are 5 MORE things that MUST go.

1. Negativity for the Sake of Negativity. See also - overt pessimism. I've believed for a long time that the mere fact I live in America should create some sort of gratitude within my first world soul in recognizing that single privilege. Yes, I understand that tragedy still happens in America; there is abuse, poverty, and struggles. It's something none of us can escape and if you think you have, keep a weary eye on that horizon. All in all, however, I feel most of us average folks have it pretty good. We have food in our bellies (one might argue TOO much food sometimes), clean water coming out of our taps, and miraculous little switches that flood our homes with artificial light on the darkest of nights. Thus, I feel overt pessimism and negative outlooks on every single event or non-event or tiny hiccup in ones day MUST go. What really makes my eye twitch is to hear those who have had something truly excellent happen to them - a real blessing you could call it - and SOMEHOW they find SOME WAY to turn their sunny day into a rain storm on the sad state of their wo-is-me lives. Pull it together and maybe go spend some time in a thatch roof hut with a dirt floor where your kids have to drink out of puddles and THEN whine to me day in and day out how your bran new Lexus isn't the exact color you wanted and you don't know why you have it so hard. I ask you.

2. Having to Walk on Eggshells. This is one of my things that absolutely MUST go. What tries my patience most is having to pick through my words with a fine toothed comb because Sensitive Sally is always on the brink of a proverbial melt down. In fact, forget the proverbs - she is ALWAYS ON the brink of a meltdown. Now, I'm not the most sensitive of people and I know this. I am aware that has always been an area I need to work on. But I tell you this, having to beat around a bush and nicely present constructive criticism or try and pad whatever opinion I might have on business matters because someone may take it as a personal affront to their souls, their mamma's life, and their dead ancestors ten generations back is something I GREATLY struggle with and it MUST MUST go. It's not personal, it's business. Pull up your big girl (or boy) panties and recognize no one is trying to offend you - just trying to get the job done. 

3. Sidebusters. Do you know what I mean by that? Well HERE's what I mean by that. Say, you are having a conversation with a person - any person - about something like movies or books or hotels or lobster and someone NOT involved in said conversation decides to add their know-it-all opinion when they actually may not have any idea what you're talking about what so ever but because THEY have a well versed opinion on everything in the world - they MUST tell you their thoughts and suggestions. THIS, is sidebusting. It's rude; and it MUST go. Mind your own business, thanks. No one asked.

4. The Eff Word. What? I don't like it. And it must go. Such a terrible word. Though I will conceded that I can appreciate a well placed eff. But an Eff for eff's sake? Eff'ing no. Must go.

5. Movie Theaters Providing Full on Meals to Patrons, MUST go. This weekend I saw Hunger Games (LOVED! LOVED! ACCOLADES! ACCOLADES!) in the D-box seats (waste of money) at the Centerville Megaplex. As we strolled into this monstrous movie edifice we were bombarded by a barrage of "concession" items that included your standard tub of popcorn, vat of soda, ice cream cones, Philly cheese steak sandwiches, full on pizzas, and quesadillas with various dips and chips.... er... What the?!? Since when did movie theaters start providing full on steaming greasy meals for movies? Do I want to smell your cheesy steak and cheese sandwich and hear you mouth-breath over your fried potato wedges throughout an entire 2 hour film? NO! I most certainly do NOT! I saw many a person lumbering in with their gargantuan trays loaded with tubs, lards, vats, and now steaming meat substances while we took our seats; a reguler size popcorn (oh, because they don't sell smalls... just regular (which is huge), huger, mega huge, and super jumbo mega huge) between two of us. What I did notice, however, is that said patrons couldn't make it much farther than five stairs until they had to wedge in between the rows of chairs and select a place to plop... arm rests up thank you. Tiiiiimbeeeerrrrr!!! I found some sort of sick and twisted joy in these patrons masochism along with being incredibly saddened that America will continue to be obese and its because we insist on selling 16 inch pizzas with chicken finger poppers and nachos as standard movie going fodder. Naturally, all refillable. Because you'd need to refill a 10 gallon tub of butter with popcorn. Right? Psh.

And there you have it - another 5 things that MUST go. So go one then, what are your pet peeves? What simply MUST go? The rant is open for comment.


Jessica said...

I would have to agree with you on a few of the above, particularly egg shells (I refuse to beat around the bush and leave room for interpretation), movie theater food (one lady brought a normal size bag of dill pickle chips once and ate them throughout the whole movie, those are pretty loud), and side busters (they aren't that smart and if I wanted their opinion I would've asked for it). I'm also going to say that I am adding unhappiness. If something makes me unhappy, I'm going to kick it in the gumbo pod right out the front door.

Andrea Jolene said...

A NORMAL size bag of dill pickle chips? Wha... wha... I mean forget the noise... I bet that had a nice quaff. Shudder. And maybe one day you can tell me what a gumbo pod is. One of your... "terms" ;)