There are a lot of things I've been meaning to post lately. I had an excellent 4th of July weekend with the family that also may include getting very purposefully and vehemently flipped off by a van driving psycho-soccer mom near the Benjamin, Utah exit. Yes. Vehemently. She's literally did a full body turn, took her hands off the steering wheel, twisted her face to look as scandalized as possible under her bleachy streaked bob, and flipped me off with such force I was winded. Now WHAT, you might ask, could have possessed this whacked out woman to make it quite clear that she objected to whatever minor traffic infraction I may or may NOT have committed? Well I'd like to tell you - but instead I'm going to let you know the two things that have taken over what would've been a very nice, relaxed, even sentimental post about being with family and enjoying the intricacies of my little cousin, Taryn, twirling her lip ring (I have video...it's....cool? Weird for sure).
Impostor of an otherwise Happy Weekend Post #1 - Courtesy of Inside Edition at 2:30 in the afternoon: The top story: Christie Brinkley wears great threads to battle for custody of her children against her husband who had an affair with an 18 year old girl and is addicted to Internet porn. No really. I went home for lunch yesterday and turned on the TV. Usually I will just lay there with my eyes closed and stroke my kitty (wow...that painted a much creepier image than I intended...oh well..painted now) but for some reason I decided to see what the TV had for me. It opened with Inside Edition. Meh. I think entertainment "news" shows are a joke and although I guess some folks find it interesting that Brad Pitt likes hummus on his Ritz cracka's "just like a regular guy" (regular guys have millions of dollars and an exotically gorgeous (all-be-it eccentric) wife and houses in France, Florida, and Florence). I, however, do not. I more indifferent to it all and will usually use such frivolous shows to fill in time before Simpsons or Seinfeld - a clearly more useful way to spend my TV watching time (oh the ironies of that statement). Well my friends, I am cured from this method of "time fill" before a something I actually enjoy watching forever. Again, I didn't expect real reporting or a real story - but Inside Edition's entire 5 minute bit on these people's lives -which are falling to shambles - and Inside Edition focuses on how great Christie Brinkley portrays the classic soccer mom, the endearing professional woman, and flaunts Ralph Lauren and Prada with such pizazz as she accuses her husband, in front of her children, of poor parenting, sexual secrets, and pornographic addictions. Great piece Inside Edition! Maybe next we can talk about making over the victims of the earthquake in China. I just don't understand why becoming suddenly destitute means you have to dress shabbily.
Impostor of an otherwise Happy Weekend Post #2 - courtesy of "dudes" and "flooseys." 3:21am That's when it occurred - the first "Weeeeee! SPLASH!!!" My bedroom window overlooks the pool at the Canyon Meadows Clubhouse. Since Canyon Meadows was built in a rush and only made to LOOK like quality rather than actually BEING quality - one can hear every noise committed by any creature within a 50 yard radius of one's condo. Thus - combining my window being close to the clubhouse pool and miscreant neighbors and residents of Canyon Meadows, is a very noisy, clearly annoying situation. Some dudes and flooseys decided on this Thursday morning at the wee hour of 3:30am to squeal and yell madly as they ran and jumped into our outdoor pool - which of course closes every night at 10:00pm. What does it matter that it "closes" when no doors lock and the fence is merely 5 feet 11 inches tall? Really? What does it matter? A dude could toss a floosey over that thing in an instant. This early morning romp in the pool loudly lasted about 1 hour. 1 hour in which I tossed and turned between dream of drowning in a community pool full of dudes and flooseys, and my previously very pleasant dreams of Paris and a gorgeous flowy blue dress a la Banana Republic...in the end a dude was wearing the dress as he swam laps around the Eiffel Tower which was teetering dangerously over a herd of flooseys clamoring over a fence. Sigh. Ruined. Oh, did I mention I had to work at 6am this morning? Yeah. Got up an hour after the loud romp turned into other noises I don't even want to mention. They solidified the "floosey" theory of it all - that's for sure.
So although I'm sure you were all looking forward to a video of my little cousins lip piercing, stories of fishing on the lake, riding four wheelers, and how much fun it was to hang out with my family all weekend because I won't see many of them for an entire year - instead you get to hear about the annoyances that usurped all thoughts of sentimental reflections and dreams of Paris in silky blue.