Wednesday, December 29, 2010

De Cruise: Days Tres and Cuarto, OR Sunshine, Canadians, and Muchachos!, OR the Day of the Rabbit (and possibly the Dog)

Alright. Let me tell you about how I was going leave at least two days between various Cruise installments. Ya know, keep you coming back for more over a two week stretch which would make me look more popular than I am. But as is true with most things I try and space out and wait patiently, I get impatient and do what I want anyway. Plus, I'm bored.

SO! Good news! You get to hear about the second leg of De Cruise a la Cabo Saint Lucas. Aye ya ya ya ya ya ya! That's my authentic Spanish call - clearly.

If you recall from our last episode, as the weather was blustery and not conducive to sun-deck lounging the first two days, I had to cling to three occurrences that redeemed the stubborn sun from hiding its face: 1. The Polar Bear, 2. The Spartan, and 3. The Dinner(s) i.e. ethereal breadbaskets of rainbows and unicorns. Num. The below picture illustrates our commendable attempt to enjoy some "on-deck- lounging-rain-or-shine-dammit" time.

Commendable, no? Oh yes, that's hot chocolate steaming in that mug. Let me tell you a secret about that hot chocolate. Come closer... closer.... IT WAS FREAKING AMAZING! And on tap. While other passengers gorged themselves on buffet nasty, we three single handedly drank the ship's supply of hot chocolate... most likely. Much like unto the bread basket - the hot chocolate was a cup of happiness. Want to know something even more incredible? Prepare yourself. Your mind will blow. Ahem, that ambrosia from the Gods is non other than....
I. Kid. You. Not. Look at my eyes - does it look like I'm kidding? Didn't think so. The secret lies within the Dark Chocolate. My that sounds cryptic... and therefore sexy. This is some sexy choc-o-late. Grrrrrowel.

Meanwhile, back on the cruise boat, after we went to our morning stretch class with The Spartan, where he discussed the antics of Michael Vick "the God" of NFL football (blank stare) and the laughability of wussy American football players who freak out about a 60 yard punt while he, The Spartan, could punt a football 90 yards no sweat (enter his demonstrating his approach and kicking-the-ball-form here), we readied ourselves to disembark. I'd like you to join in the anticipation we felt as we gazed from our boat to the beautiful cult-a-sac of beach front surrounding us. Oh... and mainly I want you to recognize the LACK of jackets, hot-chocolate, and disappointment in our wind blown faces. It's not there... because it was finally 80 degrees. Hot diggity!

Eh? Right!?!?!? Contain your jealousy. I'm jealous of me right now so I don't see how you couldn't be. You're still thinking of the Spartan's perfect kicking form aren't you? Yeeeeeeah... me too. Sigh. If anyone could kick a football 90 yards... it's definitely not that guy. But I liked seeing him show us anyway ;)

The Three Themes of the Day!
1. Sunshine (more to come!)
2. Canadians and Muchachos
3. The Day of the Rabbit

Let me give you some advice. DON'T. do the cruise boat excursions. They're freakingly ridiculously overpriced. Only a dumby would sign away their inheritance for one of those excursions... and you're not a dumbey right? No! Neither were we! My brother, Seth, had worked in the Caribbean for awhile and saw ALOT of dumbeys and suckers on the "planned" excursions. "Ange," he says to me in a very serious tone before I left, "Do NOT spend money on the excursions. If you do, you're a moron." Well, far be it for me to volunteer myself as a moron - so we decided to make our own way upon reaching Cabo and see what we could do. 

And DO we DID!

See: tug boat ride on the classically named "Sex Machine", manned by Mr. Carlos, for $10, around all the little islands and outlets offered on the "cruise boat excursions" for $80... minimum. Win! If Bangkok taught me one thing - it's to negotiate - and bring your own toilet paper (seriously). And negotiate we did! Below you'll see Lovers Beach, Divorce Beach, a Canadian, and some lazy dazy seals. Love me some seals... to look at... not to wear on my feet. Save the Seals!

Enters (below): the Honorable Octavius the Solemn and Maximus the Vain. Can you tell who's who?

Lover's Beach... and Divorce Beach. Can you tell which is which? Hint: the waves would RIP YOU APART! 

Ironically, these two respective beaches were connected and merely just opposite ends of the little Island our tugboat spit us upon. Oh the metaphors. I'd also like it noted, I look in this photo. Kinda! I mean, I don't look 5'1... I look like... 5'5! No one would call THAT leg a stump! Eh? Cricket Chirp.
 Just let me have my dreams. 

I know what you're thinking, all these things are well and good: the beach, the ocean, your pasty short leg, but what about the Canadian??? Details!

Meet Lyle
He's the happy fellow to the left of Camille. Lyle is from Calgary; there with his cute happy wife, and Lyle runs triathlons and marathons. Lyle is also deliriously happy and we loved him.We chit chatted with him and his wife on our tug boat tour and a couple of times on the Cruise ship. I love meeting new people - and this guy was our favorite. Well, okay, other than the Spartan. But The Spartan was mostly eye candy and cool stories (just wait... the Lion's testicles are coming! Patience, precious), LYLE was brimming with Life! We all left more motivated after talking with him. What a guy, aye? What a guy.


(this is my favorite picture of Camille. She's a natural Muchacho, si? Si.)

And a scabrous dog! No! The one on the left... YOUR left. Psh. I"m the bag lady. Note to self - just take off the bags for pics. It does nothing for... anything.

Needless to say, our first day on shore was a success in many ways. We weren't total suckers, ate some great Mexican food, laid in the sunshine on the beach, and naturally, did a little shop, shop, shopping. Mmm... shopping. That night, we enjoyed yet another FINE dinner (TWO breadbaskets!), a visit to the Spar.. I mean the gym... for to maintain the girlish figures ;), and were greeted by this fine little creature below. 

It was the Day of the Rabbit! And it also may have been the Day of the Dog. Let me tell you how I've missed a night in there somewhere and have one more towel animal than I have nights left on the cruise. Things get all befuddled on cruises - time is taken over by carbs, grease, and delicious delectable calories. Garcon! 5000 more calories if you please! Step on it! So here's the Day of the Dog sharing with Day of the Rabbit. I just don't want you to miss out on these things... bread baskets, hot chocolate, and towel creatures. We also were in bed by 10pm, did a puzzle, caught up on Golden Girls, and took our pills. Don't tell ME I don't know how to par-tay!

Episode #3 Spoiler!

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