Monday, May 2, 2011

"I haven't got hair, I've got feathers..."

An e-high five to whomever can name that movie! In fact, I'll give you two e-high fives because that's a rather obscure quote. My old school-pal chum Ashlee will know it immediately - can any of you beat Ashlee? Doubt it! Here's another hint: There's something wrong with this yogurt... it's not yogurt... it's mayo-naise.

Go on!

Next, I'd like to tell you a tragic story. I know it's Monday and the last thing you need is a story of woe and misery, but never the less I'd like to share. Please adjust your perspective to "first-world" thank you.

For the last year, I've been in a serious battle... a battle with my hair. Let me tell you a little bit about my hair - it's thick. And I mean THICK. I have A LOT of hair... lots... A LOT of it. Every 6 weeks I have my hairdresser "razor it down" or I start looking like a poof. Not a good look. Also, I generally keep it above the shoulder. It's easier and I just feel I'm a short hair kind of gal, ya know? I'm also a short gal and short hair on short gals is a win win. But for the last year, I suddenly became very envious of girls with long thick hair. I thought, "Hey! My hair's already thick... now it just needs to be long and I can look luxurious and feminine like those mermaid hair girls." Well Internet, therein lies the tragedy.

Fail. Fail. Fail.

Honestly, I tried... to an extent... but really... mostly just hated my hair for about a year. It was an awkward length. You know, the length that just cries "indecisive!" or "non-committal!" or "given-up!" I've been of the mind you either have long hair (to the shoulders and beyond... but NOT past mid-back over age 13... for the love) or short hair (just below the chin and up). Thus, hair lengths landing at some awkward in between stage just means you're tyring to cling to some girlish long-hair fantasy (me) and not ready to enter the world of short haired professionals. Only celebs can pull of long luscious hair after 30 because they are celebs. Right? Forever youthful - or forever chasing youth - with a team of groomers always on hand. I'm not saying it can't be done over 30, but it is a rare and lovely individual who can do it. And I envy those lovely individuals.

Turns out...

I'm NOT one of those individuals.

So Friday, I'd had it. I've felt I always have three physical assets I've always admired: 1. my long dark eyelashes... eat your heart out, 2. freckles... I like freckles, and 3. thick, fast-growing hair. Well, my assets had been reduced to two for a year and along with it, the spunk and sass I've so come to enjoy about moi. My hair did not say sass... instead it said "wah wah... boring boring... non-committal." The time had come.

I chopped... I colored... and I feathered.

That's right!

I cut that hair off right to the nubbins! No... not the nubbins... but shorter than I've had it in a loooong time. Since the days of Provo... and I liked my hair in Provo. I also hit it up with some lovely highlights and reds... and then for good measure... attached a feather or two. No really, I attached some feathers and I can PROVE it! First, a disclaimer: the below pictures are total crap because my office lighting is in large part destined to make any average to semi-good looking individual appear Gollumy; sickly and droopy eyed. Couple that with my inordinate ability to take really horrible pictures in general, and you get the below. It's genetic. My mom doesn't take good pictures either. But I wanted to show you the feathers so I took one for the team. I really like them - and apparently feathering the hair (non-80's style) is like, so totally like, IN right now. In fact, I saw some blond spunk of a girl at Church yesterday that had herself a little feathery insert as well (insert? Hmmm, word choice). You could say I'm on the DL when it comes to feather accessories. A rather noble distinction. And might I just say that reactions have been ridiculsouly positive? This means one of two things; first, this is the best hair decision I've made in years and/or second, it's so terrible that people have to be overly enthusiastic about it to hide their disgust. I'd like to think it's the latter...

Here it is... or I am... rather:

Can you detect my "Smize" in this pic? I tried to smize.

The battle is won! Andrea: 1; Drab, Boring Hair: 0 Feathers: 2... Osama bin Laden: ZERO!! Mwah!


MandiScandal said...

I haven't gotten past the first few sentences so I don't know if you answer it but the movie is notting hill. Not an obscure quote at all ... at least not for someone who has seen the movie a billion times.

Heidi said...

I do love me some Notting Hill. And the new 'do is fantastic!


jaime said...

I love the feathers!! I wish I could do them, but being a curly haired girl feathers don't really work on us. You look super fab though!!

Second, I don't know that movie quote..which is weird, cause I usually know most movies. You will have to tell me if no one posts what it is.

Andrea Jolene said...

Jaime - did you knowy you can CURL the feathers? It's true... but maybe not worth it still. HA!

Notting Hill dahling!

Andrea Jolene said...

Mandi and Heidi - Two e-high gives EACH! Well done, by jove!

Stacy said...

Nice do. I also like the feathers--a bit ala Steven Tyler.