Why I'm a sucker

I believe everything people say. No, I'm not naive (well...) - but I've noticed that I take people's word at face value.

I'm gullible. And I don't mean that as in I think television is God's word or that I can be swayed by any politician. That I question. Even some opinions on certain matters of religion I question and thus, explore and find answers for myself. I'm definitely one to question the consensus, to not conform for conformity's sake, or believe something JUST because an authority figure or "position" said it was so. No no, I mean if someone should, oh I don't know, claim that my roomie and her fiance broke up because he'd been secretly seeing another girl - I'd believe that 100%. I might not even question the validity. Mostly because I think "Why would someone lie about that?" Yes, this happened to me yesterday - good old April Fool's Day. That exact "roomie break up" scenario. I came home and my other roomie mentioned that our room mate and her fiance had called it quits. I gasped and said "No way!! Really?!?!" And she suckered me in for about another 5 minutes, with me gasping and shaking my head the whole time, before she started laughing, "April Fools!" Dammit!Suckered! Again! I dread April Fool's day because I am SUCH a sucker. It's really those things one tries to trick naive little blond girls into believing that I fall for. Every. Single. Time. Usually these things are completely illogical, and irrational...even somewhat sensational. Things that have some basis in common sense - but when you think about it - really make no sense at all. Much like that sentence...ahem.


The REALLY good thing is - I don't over-analyze, exaggerate, or "read into things." Phew!! Right? I mean - if someone says "Hey, you're cool, I like you." I don't think "OH he must want to get married and have babies." OH heeeeeeellllllll nooooooooo! I just tend to think "Oh he thinks I'm cool and likes me. Sweet" (even then I'm like "really? are you suuuuure? Don't say so if you don't mean it cause I will believe you"....like a what? SUCKER!) So - lets make THAT PERFECTLY clear. There is a very large difference between my just believing in the face value of words, and thinking that one small gesture means something ridiculously out of proportion. No no my friends - I HAVE prospective, I'm just a sucker is all. A big old sucker. Just need to calm the hell down ;) on being a "pleaser, helper, aider, supporter." I realized that I'm such a people-pleaser that I try way too hard to try and help, aide, support, those I care about. It spells backfire. Big backfire. But very good lessons learned. So there's a win? Ish? :(

Perhaps combining a little more "weariness" believing what folks say, and trying not to smother folks with my "willingness to please and show you how much I really care so you will stick around" I can find a (more) perfect balance and maybe not be so scared of relationships, or more importantly not be so stressed on April Fool's Day! Sigh. Lets not even talk about my fear of marriage...or rather marriage to the wrong person, I'd just like to date for awhile - make CERTAIN we both mean what we say and say what we mean...IN DUE TIME. I need time. Timing is so important. Right person, right place, right TIME. Provo seems to be against "time." ;) Someone will have to be patient with me for sure. Poor sucker. At least we'll have something in common.