Wednesday, April 30, 2008

"I saw my life branching out before me..." My 9 Lives.

"I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree... From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked."
- Sylvia Plath - The Bell Jar

I woke up this morning. That in and of itself was an accomplishment. It's Wednesday - and Wednesday means getting to work by 6am. You shuddered - I felt it. I actually really like the 6-3 shift. Leaves the whole day stretched before you to exercise, run errands, shop, perhaps catch an (early) flick, and still be in bed by 10:00. Which really, I could stay up later because the next day - my Tuesdays and Thursdays respectively, I work from 10am-7pm. And I really hate that.

It's a "busy time" we've lovingly deemed RUSH here at BYU Independent Study - so really, the only "quiet time" to be had is between the hours of 6am-8am(er...7:40ish more now a days). During this quieter time I do things I might have saved for my "personal home time" with my dear Laptop. Since I don't have my Laptop anymore, well, I must do these personal things on the clock. I must! I'm not ready to talk about the loss of my Laptop yet. No, it did not get stolen nor dropped in a hot bath, I sold it :( No really - I don't want to talk about it yet. It's been a very hard break up. Anyway - these things I do in the quiet moments of the AM include but are not limited to: checking gmail (which really I do all day - but I actually consider answering an email in the AM), check my respective favorite blogs, visit Zions Bank to make sure I still haven't inherited a fortune from some long lost, now dead, relative, and track my Nordstrom order due TODAY! YES! I was doing just that this morning - had logged into my gmail and already gleefully squealed at my "order status" email from Nordstrom, and had decided to peruse a new blog I was presented with yesterday. It's the blog of a recently employed co-worker. Now, I'm sorry I haven't included a link to her blog - it's password protected - something about psycho annoying Provo Hipsters scolding her for her opinions on Veganism being a fad and other such harsh, but real observations about society in general. (And why does Provo care? They're not really Vegans anyway - they live in PROVO!) I was inspired by her post entitled "9 Lives..." I kid you not. While I was perusing her postings I thought "I can't think of anything to blog might be awhile" and then I read that post and felt inspired. She prefaced it by talking about her cat, Moses, who swats at things. Cats, 9 Lives, you're following. She in fact, was inspired by someone elses post - and now I'm inspired by hers. If you had 9 other lives to live - what would they be? This question also reminded me of a particular "quote" (I quote quote because it's an entire paragraph long and I'm not sure, at this wee hour, what to call it. A "part"...sounds so...not English Major...pish posh), from one of my top 5, nay, I'd say top 3 favorite novels of all time, Sylvia Plath's the Bell Jar. But first things first - what I would do with my 9 lives - not counting mine now. Although I am okay with how it is now - I just don't want it to STAY how it is now. You should note most of them are consistent with career choice that would naturally effect the entire course of my life in general...and here we go...(no particular order).

  • 1. Teacher - almost had that one.
  • 2. President of the United States - true. I'm not yet ready to tell you who I've begun to really identify with as per an excellent biography I've been reading. Don't judge.
  • 3. World Renowned Journalist - Where in the World is Andrea Jolene?
  • 4. Novelist - duh
  • 5. Professor of English - I don't know if this counts as "other" because I plan on doing this. Since I've not accomplished it yet, however, I'll have it be one of my 9.
  • 6. Oxford Graduate. Yeah that's it. It seems like enough.
  • 7. Accomplished Pianist, Artist, Designer, something that makes me deep and melancholy.
  • 8. Public Defendant particularly focusing on the rights of children and how the law effects them as well as an advocate for the poverty stricken, down trodden, and battered and abused women.
  • 9. Talk Show Host. NO! Not like Springer! I'm thinking more like Oprah or Ellen.....mostly an Oprah feel with Ellen hilarity...

Alright. If this has inspired you - go ahead and think of your other 9 lives. It really boils down to choices doesn't it? One choice, one moment, can change the course of your life forever: who you meet, what you accomplish, how you effect others. We're all very much connected. I guess that's why decisions can be so scary. It's time for that Plath quote now I think(carried on from above). As a personal note - I really think LDS women can identify with this - because a very big part of our religion and belief system is based on the traditional view of the nurturing mother in the home. It's an inner conflict a lot of women go through - can I do it all?

"One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor, and another fig was Ee Gee, the amazing editor, and another fig was Europe and Africa and South America, and another fig was Constantin and Socrates and Attila and a pack of other lovers with queer names and offbeat professions, and another fig was an Olympic lady crew champion, and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet."

No comments: