Anyway - I've made it through my last trip to St. George - mostly. I shouldn't speak too soon - that just begs the plane to crash down in a wreath of flames and death. But hey, irony and I have gone the rounds before and we can do it again! To be honest - the trip wasn't so bad. Flying is very much the way to go. It made everything bearable, shorter, and easier. The aloneness wasn't so acute - I spent some time listening to Govn'a Huntsman's State of the State - watched 2 hours of LOST (bom bom), and oh how I've missed Dr. Jack. Mm! MM! He's so....MM! Ya know, come to think of it, there was a boy I had a class with back in the UofU days who looked a lot like Dr. Jack. We were in the same "group" for something or other and I wish I would've had more confidence to ya know..."whatever." He was really nice too. Huh. Where is that boy now I wonder? (adding "The return of Dr. Jack" to things to pray for). I also went to ROSS where I did NOT find the red Buddha head I had so stupidly NOT purchased the last time I was in St. George which would've been perfect for my bedroom decor, but I did find an incredibly adorable dress for 16 bucks as well as a few other small articles. I then ventured to Pier 1 (I know, right? They had a 75% off sale sign! I didn't have a chance...) and found several more excellent items! Oh wait - let me take a pic with my phone...(folks here are looking at me like "is that something a terrorist would do, Earl? I think it IS!")
The Buddha (not just the head)
($5 marked down from $20)
The Jewelry Box (my first "real" one in 10 years)
($14 marked down from $25)
And another saweet item I bought from that fab sale is waiting for me at the Pier 1 in Orem. It's a 4 foot tall kneeling, praying, wooden monk. Freaking cool. $20 marked down from $80. My room is peaceful. My room is "centered." My room is "young glasshoppa." My room is complete...almost. I need a bookcase and my beloved books to fully complete the feel. But the "Asian persuasion" room decor is coming along nicely. Quite. Quite.
So there's that; did some shopping and remembered my true love of Dr. Jack. All these things helped the ordeal - but to be frank - I think the biggest factor that effected my mood so completely was the sunshine. The sun was out - the sun was warm - and I felt so much happier for no reason at all. By all accounts this was supposed to be another lonely extra miserable trip to St. George - but it wasn't! The afore mentioned circumstances and excellent purchases helped - but mainly it was the Sun. I suddenly realized I probably have that mood/weather disorder. What is that called? Seasonal...Mood...Disorder? (pause to google...ah yes) Seasonal Affective Disorder. I checked it out - and here are the symptoms:
Winter-onset SAD include the following:
- A change in appetite, especially a craving for sweet or starchy foods
- Weight gain
- A drop in energy level
- A tendency to oversleep
- Difficulty concentrating
- Irritability and anxiety
- Increased sensitivity to social rejection
- Avoidance of social situations and a loss of interest in the activities you used to enjoy
Yep. Definitely been feeling some of those...most particularly the "increased sensitivity to social rejection." Lip quiver. I also don't think it helps that I gradually get uglier as the winter goes on. I'm serious! In the summer I'm more active, eat better, have better color, my skin looks better, I have more freckles (which I like), my attitude is better, my hair looks better, I like clothes better (skirts and dresses)...seriously. Winter makes me ugly. I'm not happy when I'm ugly!
Thus, what I thought was going to be a horrible stint of depression having to go to St. George all alone...again...come to find... it wasn't so bad. And it wasn't so bad, because the sun makes me happy. I always feel like I'm much happier in the Spring, Summer, and Fall anyway. It's not even so much the warmth - as the Sun. I need it! And the terrible inversion in SLC that's been plaguing us for weeks has literally taken a toll on my mental and physical well-being. With all of other life's stresses bearing down on me - suffering from SAD isn't something I had even considered as a possible player in my little crumpled world. It made it seem much more crumpily than it was I think. The sun makes everything better - and now - I don't want to leave it :(
There's that irony again. Psh.
Can I tell you I seriously almost lost this entire post?!?!?! I hit a wrong button and POOF - erased! I prayed "Please let the auto-save be working. Please let the auto-save be working." So totally WAS! Life is really looking up! Thank you SUN!