Sunday, February 15, 2009

Just when you think you’re done – St. George rears its ugly head…again

Yes. I am going to St. George AGAIN! It’s okay though. Last time was unexpectedly okay. I was worried I’d want to throw myself off a balcony, but what with flying down there as well as basking in the glowing sun and finding some good bargains, it made the trip rather pleasant. At the very least it wasn’t the lonely exhausting trips from the 4 times before that. There’s really not much you could do to make that any worse. Shudder. This really is the LAST time this year though. Very last. Last Last.

Actually, here’s an irony, my Ward is planning this big ole “St. George Singles Trip” the end of March. I’m pretty soured against that drive and immediately thought “No way. I will miss that little venture thank you very much.” Then they mentioned such things as biking and hiking and being outside…and I’ve become more tempted. I dunno. I’m so so SO over the Singles Ward scenario. I think I “over-killed” in my faithful 40th Ward of 2003-2007 on Singles Ward involvement, and now feel like I’ve “been there, done that.” Singles Wards have a very different vibe to them as many of you former and current Singles Wards attendees can attest. Also, the older you get, the weirder they get. For example, last week my roomie Mary and I decided we’d attend FHE. We’d been in the Ward about a month and though we are regular full block church go’ers, we had yet to attend any activity beyond that. Meh. So this time we decided to give it a try. The activity involved Bingo and Elderly folks. That sounded pretty awesome to me. No, I’m not being sarcastic. I thought it sounded really fun and honestly, the service type activities are the only ones I feel are the most worth while. I will always go to the service ones…and the Temple ones. The others are few and far between.

(Oh! Can I tell you though? Once in my Provo ward they planned a “service” activity that involved picking up garbage on this lovely trail up Provo Canyon for 30 minutes and then we were to enjoy lunching and staring at each other for another 2 hours. Uh…what? Really? That’s the only service we could think of to provide for the surrounding community (which I might add is full of low income families and elderly)? Picking up some bits of depris along a dirt road to ultimately end in more munching and mingling? Lingering longer? Feeding the flock? Fruit and Flirt? (ha..okay I’m done)That ward seemed notorious for essentially labeling “come eat and talk to each other” under the guise of “Service Project”, “FHE”, “Ward Mow the Lawn Day,” “Drive to get Ice Cream as a Ward Activity Day”, and “Make Cookies for those Who Don’t Show up to these Activities to Encourage Them to Come Day” extremely well. Ultimately – all of those activities centered around a loosely put together project and mainly food and talking talking talking to the same people. Sigh. I shouldn’t say much more or I will be called to be activities co-chair….again).

Anyway, beside the point. Mary and I attended this “service” FHE with the hope of keeping company with elderly folks and interacting with our new ward. WELL! We got there and found about 30 young singles – 25 of them girls – and no elderly folks. What? Well, we sat down at a table in front of some Bingo cards, hoping the elderly would arrive soon. Two BINGO’s later…Three Bingos’…a few Singles Ward-esque questions like “so like, who’s your ward crush?” and “win a date for this weekend!” and still no Elderly. Though – I did get to watch the stunning antics of 3 girls ogling over the same cute, dark, and tall boy one row behind us. That was pretty funny. The girlys were all smiles and giggles and arm touches and leg rubs throughout the entire thing. They all “leaned” towards him with their hair brushing his shoulder now and again or touching his hand while taking his macaroni off the Bingo sheet. How clever. The boy was very cute – seemed really nice – and in fact I remember him speaking in sacrament our first Sunday there and being rather impressed – however – I’ve not seen him without a gaggle of girls floating on his every (actually dorky) word. Too bad. Gaggles of girls around one dude automatically turns me right off. I will likely never meet this boy – and now I don’t care too. Ya know? I don’t do competition at all – AND – I don’t want to be part of the “following.” He doesn’t seem to notice them all grouping around him and is nice to all of them – which was refreshing – but again – not worth trying for. One of those other 10 groupys will snag him. Maybe that’s my problem, I don’t care to fight over anyone. Meh. I choose a single life then ;) I’m a lover, not a fighter. Though in a Singles Ward the two seem like natural allies…to love you must fight…or claw rather. Anyway, nothing too entertaining happened other than Mary and I’s simultaneous realization that we are very much over Singles Wards. Very. Much. Over. I think I turned into a “Sunday and REAL service activity only” member of that Ward right then; with a monthly dash of Visiting Teaching of course. I don’t have the energy to “hunt.” Thus, I’m really debating the Ward St. George venture…biking and hiking on one hand…dealing with Singles Ward antics and gimmicks on the other. Tough. Very tough. We’ll see what happens. Plus, I’ve St. George’ed so much that it’s really lost any and all appeal – as you avid readers of La Blog are very much aware of; especially since I’m going down AGAIN this week. Here’s the deal – if Dr. Jack goes – I will go. Okay, done.

At least I am flying down Tuesday night. I am so glad to be flying. Yes, I am still nervous on those little biddy planes – but I get to read the entire time and it only takes 1 hour vs 5 long long long…long driving hours. I will be there a total of one night and one day – then come right back to SLC around 7pm on Wednesday. Easy peezy. Maybe I will go running OUTSIDE when I get there this time. Gasp! Maybe! The only annoying thing about the venture is my barely missing the afternoon flight home (it leaves at 2:30 and I’m done at 2:30) and having to putz around for 3 hours until MY flight leaves at 5:30. Meh. Again, if there is a sound internet connection, not to mention Charles Dickens coming with me, it won’t be that bad. Maybe security dude will mistake me for Angelina Jolie again! Sigh…one can always hope.


Crowther said...

LOL. I think singles wards are here to show guys how dumb we are. Countless possibilities and choices before them, but yet they can't decide. The inflation of the ego is a dangerous thing. Enjoy your trip to St George hope its not too horrible.

Anonymous said...

Did I miss something? Remind me who Dr. Jack is again.

Andrea Jolene said...

Ohhhhh Dr. Jack is just a fellow in my Singles Ward who isn't really named Dr. Jack - well - I don't know what his real name is - but he looks like Dr. Jack from LOST and he'd be the only reason I'd come off my dating sabbatical that I've decided to implement for awhile. Ahem. Yes.

Anonymous said...

Oh ...that Dr. Jack. Hey I'm already there!