Monday, June 29, 2009

My weekend adventures and a disturbing trend of newly married people I don’t understand.

First, I vow to take more pictures. It just makes posts more interesting. I went ahead and left my camera at work all weekend – so no pics – BUT henceforth I will be better at it. I don’t want to lose my 2 person readership!

This weekend was enjoyable. Mostly because the weather was BRILLIANT! As in brilliantly warm and happy. Not even a whisp of cloud in the sky. Not a whisp I say! At any rate – it wasn’t a terribly exciting weekend – but a nice weekend.

I finally got to go to the Farmers Market on Saturday. It’s been open for three Saturdays now, the previous two being “monsoon’ed” and thus not pleasant for the perusing and purchasing. Don’t nobody want to walk around in the rain… usually. I actually don’t mind it to an extent. June passed the “extent” after day 10 of consecutive rain rain rain. Lets not talk about it. At any rate, the Farmers Market. What a happy concept! Ironically the only “natural” food item I purchased was a 1lb bottle of honey. Num num num. And did you know there’s “no such thing as organic honey in America?” that’s what “honey guy” said. He said there’s really no way to prove that the honey bees haven’t been “messed” with, but they COULD say that they use no pesticides nor other non-organic means to sweeten or whatever it is they do to honey that makes it non-natural on their bee farm. Alright dude I believe you. I will take one pound. It really is good honey and YES I can taste a difference. Psh. I was also curious as to why he added the “in America” qualifier. Are European bees organic? Have they never been tainted EVER in the history of bees (so like – Noah’s Ark days) and thus the chance of you getting a chemically enhanced bee is less in France? Germany? Russia? I don’t see how they can prove that either. And can bees not be international? An American bee can’t buzz to London to visit his brothers, sisters, aunts, and former Queen mum (get how that’s funny? Bee’s have a Queen and the British have a Queen mum… ahem… it’s funny) Just sayin. I bet bees put in for international transfer. Something for Google. I also bought some locally made peachy soap from the soap-lady stand, a headband (of which I think I can make myself after examining it), and some UofU clay earrings. That’s right! Football season is upon us! Holla! All in all, good purchases.

I also played tennis with a friend on Saturday for many hours. I know, right? I’m really taking up tennis and I don’t think I’m half bad at it. Once I get the “volleyball” out of me; things went pretty well. I’m a veteran volleyball and softball player, both of which have techniques not helpful for tennis. It’s in the serving and the swinging if you can imagine. Also, because of the non-whispness of the beautiful summer sky, my shoulders got fried. DAH! I’ve been doing so well all summer to keep from frying and even acquired a nice glow that one week where the sun was actually out, but Saturday I thought “meh” I need some sun, perhaps I will forgo the SPF 30 and tan a bit. WELL! My arms were okay up until my shoulders, which are rather crab-red now. Gr. It’s painful – but I’m drinking mucho water and rubbing on mucho aloe-vera. Let us all pray together it does not peel.

And now to Sunday – a day in which I have discovered a disturbing trend in that strange concept called the Singles Ward. Singles Wards are weird anyway – good – but weird. I’ve hit a time now where I’m kinda “over it” but will continue to attend and participate until the day finally comes when I can move on. And whether that be because of the marrying or the turning of 31, I will most assuredly MOVE ON! Yes, that was a segway into the following: I’ve noticed that married people have started going to Singles Wards. Not the “leadership called” kind of marrieds like Bishops and counselors – oh no – like young single couples who just got married OUT of their Singles Wards still ATTENDING the Singles Wards. In the words of this generation: WTF?!??! No really. Why, in heavens name, would you get married and CONTINUE to attend a SINGLES ward. This is no longer the place for you! You have graduated, or rather, “moved on” to a different phase of church-going life. Your place is now in a family ward – full of marrieds – hence the qualifier SINGLES wards are full of SINGLES… the NON-Married. This is disturbing to me on many levels.

  • Level 1: The point of Singles Wards is to meet other Singles in the hope of marrying someone so you may get out of a Singles Ward. If you are married – then the point of the Singles Ward is now moot. I mean, that’s why they were created. Otherwise, we would all just attend the family ward we live in (which if you want my opinion we should just do that. I mean you’ll meet the same people but additionally, get to interact with a variety of age groups… anyway).
  • Level 2: It’s time to move on. Really, it is. I can't even believe you have to be told. You’ve had your stint in the Singles Ward – it’s been a good run – and it’s now time to press forward. I find this to be a real issue generally speaking. People are stuck in a rut – set in their ways – or 20 something Peter Pans (as Elder Oaks puts it) – and can’t just move on, press forward, progress, evolve, advance, whatever word you want to use. I’ve met (and gone out with) many Peter Pans whose dating patterns mimic that of my 16 year old little brother. But, that is a rant for another time. Let me say this: SINGLE PEOPLE! If you get married, then you can no longer go to your Singles Ward. And honestly – why the crap would you want to? Which brings up level 3…
  • Level 3: Why the crap do you want to stay here? I’ve had some very choice experiences in Singles Wards. They’re a very unique place where you can interact with those of your own age, in your same stage of life, and really build some meaningful relationships and experiences only to be had in a Singles Ward. But ultimately, everyone really wants out. There’s the meat market-esque mentality, the pressure of dating and being sociable, the “mix and mingle” activities, and you just hit a point where you’re done. You’re ready to move onward. And at age 31 OR when you get married, that opportunity comes around. There’s a purpose for this – and we need to believe that purpose is for our own good. There’s a reason the church has such procedures. And besides, don’t ya’ll get bored hanging with the same age group and talking about your same experiences? Isn’t it an exciting change when you can get married and go interact with others who are sharing your experiences? And for the 31 and ups aren’t you read to interact with a diverse amount of people in a variety of life stages: old folks, young marrieds, middle aged people, children, teenagers; I think it opens up so many opportunities that aren’t necessarily found in a Singles Ward. Married people! Come on! Move on! Go away!

Anyway, I find that disturbing, nay, even disconcerting. I know you think I’m kidding, that newly marrieds don’t actually come back to the Singles Ward, but my friends this is not an isolated case. I mention it because I’ve noticed a pattern. I’ve seen a lot of young couples do this… for many Sundays in a row. Just yesterday I saw a jeep that read “Just Married!!” and tastefully “Dominate Her!” (another WTF moment). But clearly these young folks were attending their Singles Ward, again, AFTER getting married and had the gaul to drive their “Just Married”, tasteless, and not washed yet jeep to church. I mean regardless of it being weird they’re attending a Singles Ward, there are many little tender hearts of a rip late 20’s age who probably do not appreciate your bouncing around their Singles scene in newly married bliss. Perhaps take a step out of “Planet-us” for a second. I hope this “return to the Singles Ward after being married” doesn’t become a trend. I know that if/when I get married I will happily move on from a Singles Ward into a family ward, where I should be, where I need to be, and where I OUGHT to be.

5 comments:

Crazy Walker said...

Love the Farmer's Market. We're the ones going when it's rainy though, because there aren't as many people there. :) We actually purchased a bunch of honey as well. It's the first place we go when it opens in the summer. We also like picking up various sauces & rubs. Love it.

Don't understand the singles ward thing either. I never really attended, but I attended Cade's ward, and it was awkward enough I never wanted to go back!

Just a thought... said...

Amen ...and amen! What are they thinking??? Must be they have made close friends they just love to hang out with and can't say good bye to? Want to rub people's faces in the fact that ...I'm married now and you're NOT! They want to make sure someone better didn't come along while they were off on their honeymoon?
Or ...they don't want to face the real ward world where they might actually be given a calling or assignment that might challenge them. (A lot more opportunities for that in a family ward than a singles ward.)

I totally agree that it's time for them to move on. Maybe you could tell your Bishop that it's a little confusing and uncomfortable for the singles to have married couples attending. Can you imagine if they start having kids ...do they think the singles ward is going to come up with a primary organization for them? I don't think so!!! Time to get those records moved.

Marisa Jean said...

Maybe they don't like the family wards because they fear the dreaded calling that all newly-weds get...the nursery. But really, you couldn't pay me to go back. That said, I'm with you. I don't understand it either.

Andrea Jolene said...

Well - I hope their Bishop will eventually be like "okay, you've had a nice run... and I've let you hang around for a few weeks... but your discouraging the ranks and frankly it's awkward. You will leave now." Or something like that ;)

Adam & MiKail said...

Are you freaking serious? Married couples attending singles wards? I couldn't agree with you more...move on people! I couldn't wait to leave even before I got married!

And that's just silly - showing up to church, specifically a singles ward, with a "just married" sign still on the vehicle. Sounds like someone is trying to flaunt! Get over yourselves!