- Gave up: Great job at BYU Independent Study I very much enjoyed and adored all the people I worked with
- Restored! Job at Utah System of Higher Education that I enjoy but also has the potential to turn into a “career” rather than a “job” and allows me to gain my education practically free of charge in a program I never would’ve even considered had I not been given the opportunity to be in this environment.
- Gave up: Rockin furniture acquired from a former Jazz player at a freakishly ridiculous good deal.
- Restored! Some great KSL pieces in a downtown apartment for close to the same freakishly good deal.
And now that I have you understanding what I mean through a myriad of examples… the point of the post:
Gave up: Lila – the kitty. She was given away with the furniture to a co-worker as I would be in Europe and had no where for kitty to go… (here is a kitty pic)Restored! Lila – the kitty. What!?!??! Yes. Tear. Sniff. We’re back together.
I was a little heart broken when I gave kitty away. I mean, after cleaning up poops, nurturing, feeding, playing, posting about kitty, and enjoying her general presence in my home, I created a bond with kitty. And having to give kitty away was very sad. Very traumatic. I recall giving her away and then sitting down and playing a few rounds of Mortal Kombat (in a furnitureless apartment) to ease the pain. I remember feeling a little panicky as well – “holy crap this is really going to happen... am I SURE about this?” but also feeling like it was all the right thing to do just the same (And yes, even after the fact I not only believe it was the right thing – but I absolutely know it was the right thing to do - and I’d choose to do it again). Kitty was gone – and I was pressing forward hoping to gain things I’d even spent my lifetime hoping for. Alas, little did I know it was not to be… not yet.
Well – almost an entire year later as my life is rebuilding and taking on more “normalcy” – I get a “comment” on my blog from the friend I had given Lila to. She and her husband are moving, she explains, and they can’t have Lila with them. Would I want her back? WOULD I WANT HER BACK!?!??!?! My little Lila? OF COURSE I want her back! Naturally I made sure the roomie was okay with said cat running about our apt – and to my surprise she was! I let my friend know that I would take her whenever they were ready to give her up – and not 3 days later – I was in my truck driving Lila from Provo to SLC. She was back. Of course I expected a very tearful and happy reunion. Why wouldn’t she remember me? I envisioned it much like that YouTube video of those Australian gents who raised a lion (aka Christian the Lion) in their backyard and then returned it to the wild just to reunite 10 years later and have the lion REMEMBER them. Seriously! It was on Oprah and yes, maybe I did get a little misty eyed. What of it? You should watch it if you haven’t – you’ll tear as well. Very touching. Ah yes… when I got her to my apartment – she would frolic about in happiness and cat-curiosity, happy to be “home” again. This was my vision.
Well, this was Lila the entire first day and much of the second:
Hiding under the couch, not eating, and a little hissy.
Though it was not the tearful reunion I had expected – on the evening of the second day she was much more comfortable with her surroundings and even scouted out her food and litter box (cleverly hidden away in our living room closet)
Now you see it
Now you DON’T!
So… needless to say… last year basically sucked. Probably one of the most difficult years of my life in every way possible, financially, personally, emotionally, spiritually, but in the end, things are slowly coming back together. Things I gave up or lost are being restored, and I’m excited to see a few final pieces of “loss” find me again as evidenced in Lila. I mean, it’s one thing to go out and get a kitty again – but an entirely different matter altogether to get the exact kitty back I gave away a year ago - though she has grown into a cat now - and is the better for it. THAT’S pretty amazing. I guess we've both done some growing over the past year... and both have come out bigger and better for it. My “gave up” list above is very short considering everything that I lost. I also gave up (on) a too complicated and confusing “friendship” that caused probably the most grief (and growth) over this entire ordeal (it’s like “the kick” when you’re down – ya know?), but based on the pattern I’ve noticed emerging over the past 6 months, maybe that “kick me when I’m down” will turn into the icing on the cake soon. Everything else has come back to me only better, in some form or another. In the case of Lila, in the exact form I lost it. So, why not hope that the most important things I lost or gave up will come back to me too, in a different form, and absolutely better! I feel that. Feel it real good.
And here she is right at home.