Saturday, May 10, 2008

So - are you single? Cause I know this guy..

I really want to say I'm married sometimes. I do (get it? I do?). I realize I'm a young single in the most anti-young-single town in the developed western WORLD - nay, the ENTIRE WORLD developed or otherwise, heck -THE UNIVERSE even! I realize that at 24 - folks are going to start asking "oh, so what's wrong with her?" I realize that I'm failing at my religion - well, failing at the culture my religion inadvertently created in the spunky Utah Valley bubble of self-indulgence, pressured progression, and lean-to testimonies where we forget that the LORD'S timing doesn't always coincide with "18 years old and 1 month off his mission" - at least not for MOST people. I also realize that because I don't care that I'm single (well I care, but I don't HOLY HEL-CK I REALLY CARE!!!)- I deserve to be set up on blind dates: "clearly she's not as worried as she ought to be or she would be married by now." And really - I appreciate the gestures. Usually these gestures stem from married people who have a brother-in-laws ex girlfriend's older brother whose "got a great personality", only one snaggle tooth, and hey he's short! The plight of short girls is that they will immediatly like short guys - like kinda freakishly short guys who don't date much because most of the girls ARE usually taller than them. Folks - even short people's personalites (and hygene) have to be somewhat compatable. Gr. I just...I don't...sigh...ya know?

Lets observe the count this month:


Five is the number of people I've been suggested to for a blind date in a MONTH - and 5 is the number I have yet to go out with, but am dreading. 2 is the number of blind dates that have called me. 2 is the number of blind dates that share the same name (Matt - red flag). 1 is the number of blind date who is under the age of 28 and that said 26 is the number I secretly hold as the "last normal year of a man's dating life - after that they are set in their ways and not budging. 1 is the number of blind date that "isn't married yet because his former girlfriends all wanted to get their MA and he wasn't following them (steeeeerike 1,2 &3)", 3 is the number of blind dates I've not even seen a picture of (yes of course it matters - don't act like it doesn't),1 is the number of blind dates my HOME TEACHER set me up with because his buddy asked him to "help me find someone to date, dude...", 1 is the number of blind date that canceled day of (eh - I really didn't care - kinda relieved), 1 is the number of blind date that talked so fast on the phone I had to take time to untangle the where-tos and the why-fors, 5 is the number of minutes it took for me to realize this probably won't work and I've only just spoken to you on the phone, 3 of 4 is the number of items hit on my "no way no matter what" list 2 of the blind dates have already touched upon (you want to know what they are don't you? Don't worry - they're reasonable) and "too many" is the number of people who claim that "so and so and so and so" met on a blind date and are married now so you never know. I know. I know.


What more can I do now but sum up with some Sylvia Plath because really, she hits it on the head...


"I hated coming downstairs sweaty handed and curious every Saturday night and having some senior introduce me to her aunt's best friend's son and finding some pale, mushroomy fellow with protruding ears or buck teeth or a bad leg. I didn't think I deserved it. After all, I wasn't crippled in any way [ANY WAY PROVO! I'M just SINGLE!]...I just studied to hard. I didn't know when to stop."


...as well as let you know I'll go on these blind dates (all 5 of them) - I'll be a "sport" but really, I'd rather just find "him" on my own. I believe in me (and my tastes), I believe in the Lords timing and guidence for me, so come on Provo and well meaning friends, why can't you? Or at LEAST put some value on my personal preferences. Geez.

4 comments:

naomi said...

RESPEC'

Jacob Jensen said...

Wait, what was that about 26 being the last normal year? I am in serious trouble.

Donnarae Korth said...

So funny Andrea! I promise to never set you up with my ex-boyfriend's brother's best friend from second grade. (He really is a great guy though) It works for some, and not for others. I think it's better to find them on my own, but I hardly ever got set up, so what do I know. I'm the girl that no one wanted to set their friends up with, so at least your friends, and PROVO, think you're good enough for their friends! Hope life is treating you well. We'll have to run into eachother sometime soon.

Andrea said...

Jake - you gots NOTHING to worry about. I don't think the 26 rule applies to SOME - you fall into "some" - although you better be careful, it's a slippery slope! I personally don't like a lot of "beat around the bush" games. I'd like a guy to come out and ask me. I've been "flirting" with this dude at work - and he returns it - but he hasn't asked me out. I'd like him to just do it so I could get to know him a little more - otherwise, I tend to start to lose interest. Girls need some encouragement too!;)