Monday, February 8, 2010

Alright - another Planet Date morphing from mediocre to downright demoralizing

Alright - the online dating saga continues. Yep. Remember the guy that canceled on my last Saturday? Well we went out last Monday. Just a simple dinner right at the Gateway. This was nice because 1. I don't let them come to my house (for clear reasons) and 2. he 'had' to go the Jazz game at 7 so naturally, the Gateway was a good place to meet. Shore. Let’s meet there.

So we did...

And... well... I'm going to report the series of events that led me to the conclusion that I'd likely not go out with him again. Not even just because he'd proven incredibly... inept at dates in general... but because he's too 'into what he does and his life' to properly plan anything anyway. You see where this is going, right? Flush... spin... disappear.

I made it to Happy Sumo first and he said "Hello!" upon seeing me. Well, I said "Hello!" back and just then, his friend walking up suddenly behind me said "DUDE!"


Response, "Dude!" high five, hand shake, fist pound... commence to completely and utterly ignore me for at LEAST 10 minutes of dude conversation and walking into the restaurant. I literally question if I should follow or just make a run for the escalators while I had the chance. I chose to follow... awkwardly... weirdly... 'hi... I'm here... I'm ... girl.. here... ahem..." Was this the right guy? Am I following some stranger into a resturaunt and freaking him out as much as I'm weirded out? These are the plausible thoughts going through my mind. Is this guy REALLY that inconsiderate? Well, turns out...

So 'dude' leaves and guy says 'yeah that was my friend.' Oh really? Weird. I thought dudes just had unspoken code where they high fived, hand-shook, and fist pounded random other dudes as a sign of their dude commrodery (that looks really poorly spelled, doesn't it? Meh). Huh. Learn something new every day.

Dinner: "Get anything you want! I'm not paying for anything!"

I.... what? Am I... paying for something? Are we gonna eat and run? I can't do that. They'll catch me. I know it.

He explained that his company pays for him eating out anywhere anytime - so he can go eat out (at expensive sushi places - which is where we were (the one saving grace of the entire ordeal)) all he wants and not pay a dime. What a perk right? Shore I guess so. Though, I don't know why - but this kinda made me feel cheated a little bit. I mean yeah that's cool, but I dunno, I've yet to see where he's put in some time and effort on this little date. Is that archaic of me? I'm coming to truly find how important the guy 'planning' and 'paying' (in some small fashion... ice cream) really is. I guess it does help with first impressions - it’s indicatory of how.... oh... what's the word... how much of a priority dating is? Or rather, a matter of respect? I mean, he asked ME out right? Someone decode. Go ahead. Why did that slightly bother me? And while you're decoding... I shall commence with the torture. Oh, not to interupt the decode, but after he said his company pays for that he blithely added, "or we'd be at KFC." WOW! Wow....

Next, he answered his phone twice. Yep. Now listen, I've been in situations (aka dates) where I did need to take a phone call or check my texts. There is an appropriate situation where this is acceptable. Example: my little brother went gallivanting off in a blizzard and my mom couldn't get a hold of him and was rather upset about the situation. So she was going to text me when she was finally able to hunt him down. This is a reason to check your phone on a date - and ADDITIONALLY - I communicated this to my date out of respect and common courtesy. Right? Right. "Just so you know... my mom is texting me if my brother is alive." So if ya gotta take a phone call - which sometimes you do - there does need to be some sort of explanatory precursor. In this instance? Nope. Just answered it... twice. Sigh. I hate that. I really do. I now I really feel... unimportant... or.... not like a date in any respect of this world.

So, I've saved the 'best' for last. THIS is the weirdest part of the whole thing. Shore the 'hey dude ignore girl' incident was rude, shore answering the phone is an incredibly impolite dating faux pas, and SHORE maybe I'm a little traditional in being slightly bugged that he let me know this date wasn't costing him a single thing and if it was, it was only worth the dollar menu at McDonalds..but ALSO, he did NOT once... not ONCE... look at me the entire time.

What? What do you mean he didn't LOOK at you?

What I mean is - he did not LOOK at me - my face - the entire date. Oh no we talked just fine. That's what sucked about this date truly - on paper (aka email) he looked fantastic! But in person - wow - WOW - wow. Can I blame online, electronic, networking blah blah blah, for this boys lack of interpersonal skill? I think I can a little. He needs to practice looking at a person’s face when he's talking to them, I think, more than gluing his eyes to his Iphone and/or computer screen. It's called human interaction. He literally was talking and not looking at me - staring off at the TV to the left or at a spot in the wall near the door. Maybe he was expecting more dudes? Dunno. Again, this made me feel... weird and... awkward... and like he didn't want to be there in any way. I've been out with a number of strange individuals - but I don't think any of them have made me feel as completely unimportant as this guy.

Subsequently - we had two more 'dudes' come up and "DUDE!" him at our table (was this planned? I kinda think it was) before the night was over. They got more respect then I did as he looked at their faces when he interacted with them. Ironically, one dude seemed really nice and cute and introduced himself to ME, shook my hand, and mentioned how lovely it was to meet me. "Thanks... uh.. is it weird if I get your number? I don't think this guy will mind - he's on a phone call anyway."

Well the date ended (praise the Lord - these things are but a small moment!). Of course, to sum up a rather disheartening evening, guy mentioned "You should plan the next date!" while of course looking at a what must've been a very interesting spot above my head. I responded, "Well, I'm pretty sure I practically planned this one... so if you want to go out again... you probably shouldn't leave it up to me." Har har har... yeeeeeah... I need to work on making my sarcasm more apparent it seems. Kinda wasn't a joke. Nope.

We walked out of the restaurant and I was happy to leave. I considered going and buying myself a new pair of shoes as a little pick me up since I now felt like the biggest waste of time ever. To clench the deal - dude waved me a quick goodbye and said "Alright cool! See ya later for sure!" and took off to his 'must go to' Jazz game. Not so much as a handshake... a nice to meet you... a 'sorry but I have this condition that keeps me from looking people in the face when I talk to them.' Just peace and he's out.


. ... ... ... cricket chirp.

Soooooo, I'm seeing a pattern developing with these 'Planet' boys. They're all socially retarded and thus turn to e-dating as a resource but neglect to remember that one day you WILL have to meet someone IN PERSON and thus practicing your basic social etiquette will come in very useful. I don't think they've invented e-marriage yet... oh except... I think they have! Oh someone save us.

As a follow up - dude did gchat me saying "Hey! I'm planning something really great for us to do!" I responded with a rather bland "Alright, cool." And really, thought maybe that first date was a super fluke and I MIGHT consider going out ONE more time with this witless wonder (he sounded THAT good on paper I tell you!) - but surprise of surprises - I've heard nothing. Makes it easier that way though. I was about 5% hope that it was a fluke and 110% sure it'd end up just as... demoralizing as the first. (I am aware my percentages are skewed... it was to prove the point). Yes that's it. I felt demoralized in more ways than I can count. I don't think the Colts felt as demoralized as I felt that date - well - maybe a little more. But only just.

1 comment:

Just ME the MOM said...

Oh man - LOSER again, I was hoping for better . . .

Bleak, the situation is bleak . . .

What is with THESE guys!